PW Writers' Blog

Breaking the silence (on the blog, that is.)

2011-05-18T20:53:00.001-04:00

Today's Mood: upbeat. Today's Music: Nickelback. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"If you aren't prepared to put your writing first, you aren't really a writer." - Rita Mae Brown (Harsh!)

*******

Whoop! Whoop! Summer is a comin'! And I can't wait for Glen Lake with its offer of nothing but writing for 24/7 all week long. (Along with a little bike riding, skinny dipping, ice-cream eating, and s'more roasting.)

Work has been crazy. The weather has been crazy. My family has been crazy. All God's children have been crazy! Or that's how it feels anyway. My writing is getting squeezed--enough that I think I might have to start lying. "Oh, I have a meeting for work tonight." "I'm not feeling well (cough, cough). I think I need to stay home and rest for a day."

Sigh. It won't happen. There's always too much to do at home and things at work that I can't miss. Still....

Today I was thinking about book trailers. We had Margaret Willey come in and speak to our sixth graders and she mentioned that if you are going to write a YA novel--you have to make a book trailer for it.

So when does one do that? Before you get an agent/publisher? Or after? Would that help sell it? Any of you out there played with making a book trailer? We have students do this at school, so I have the basic concept down. But trust me, the quality would have to be a lot better before I'd want to put anything out there to potential readers/publishers.

Still, something to think about when I'm busy doing ten zillion other things besides writing.

Book signing

2011-03-19T13:41:00.002-04:00

Mark Wolfgang will be signing "Bedderhoff Dead" at Bestseller's Bookstore in downtown Mason MI on Saturday, April 16th. He'll probably issue reminders as the day approaches.

Laughing down south

2011-01-07T22:28:00.002-05:00

Wanted to let you know that I've signed up to have a table at Books Alive, a local writing/reading conference on Feb. 5 sponsored by the Panama City Library. Carl Haissen will be the keynote speaker. But, I will have a table there where I can sign and sell copies of Laughing for a Living. I'm looking at my other books -- Good News Town and Royal Death -- with an eye to publishing them on Lulu too. I know the sales will be limited, but not as limited as being stuck in the drawer. And, maybe, if I get busy, I'll have a sequel to Good News Town written by the time I get home from Florida! I've been complaining that it isn't as warm as I would like, but hey, if it's chilly, maybe I'll get more writing done!

Six-word resolutions

2011-01-01T20:20:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: Industrious. Today's Music: Ipod on shuffle. Today's Writing: journal. Today's Quote:

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." -E.B. White

********

This morning I sat down to reflect on the past year--as well as make some resolutions for 2011. I have been reading a couple of books called Not quite what I was planning; six-word memoirs by writers famous and obscure, and so I decided to write my reflections as well as my goals in six words. In some ways it made it easier and in some ways harder. There were so many things that happened this year, it's impossible to even remember it all. When I only have six words, I am forced to focus only on a few things.

My reflections on 2010:

Year went by; not everything done.
Year went by; more to do.
A year gone by. Not published.
Chocolate and wine consumed in measure.
Family, work, writing--they don't balance.
Still haven't finished damned rough draft.
Should have written more, cleaned less.
House not condemned--can still write.

As for resolutions:

Write more and more and more.
Finish rough draft--revise, revise, revise.
Write when inspired--daily at 6:30.
Eat less, exercise more--good luck.
Send out awesome query--get published.
Become famous and then find publisher.
Exercise and write more--goodbye sleep.

How about you? How was your 2010? And do you have any resolutions for 2011?

And the beat goes on...

2010-12-16T15:11:00.003-05:00

Just to update the status of my book sales via Lulu. They send me a weekly report and so far I have sold 15 books online, all friends and relatives I'm sure. It's not heading for the New York Times Best Seller list anytime soon. Steve and I are in Florida now for 3 months. I brought 25 books with me with the plan of having a book signing while I'm down here for the snowbird group. I'll let you know as that evolves. So, have I sparked any interest in self-publishing? Any questions for Mark or myself about publishing on Lulu?

Blame the snow

2010-12-01T20:49:00.002-05:00

Tonight's book signing at Civic Theatre was a bust. Sold a grand total of four books and three of those were to Civic Theatre employees. Everyone told me book signings are not a good way to sell books but I thought I had figured the angles: A book about theater, benefiting a theater, sold in a theater to a theater audience. People didn't even stop by to get some candy or pick up a free bookmark. And that's with a nice story in The Press and a great radio interview. It makes you think about what it takes to grab people's interest.

News of Sue

2010-11-30T07:52:00.002-05:00

Check out this article on Sue Merrell's book Laughing for a Living in the GR Press.

The proof is in the pudding...or something like that.

2010-11-23T00:06:00.003-05:00

In the interest of fairness, I must report that the proof finally arrived today, three weeks after I ordered it. In some ways it relieved my concern. It is almost as good as the original 20 I received, but the cover is much darker. I didn't make any changes in the cover PDF so that means every print run is going to be a different shade. Not terrible, unless you display them side by side. One of the photos inside the new version doesn't look very good. I scanned in the photo of Cary Grant that we ran in the newspaper 26 years ago so it's a photo of a photo. Never a good idea. But it looked okay in the original 20 copies. I guess the compression I used on the new PDF isn't as good as what my son used on the original copies so the flaws are much more noticeable. I'm not sure if it is enough for me to create another revision, especially since I'm not sure if I can fix it. This is what happens when you let us non-tech types dip our fingers in the publishing pool. For those of you who are interested, I'll be signing copies at 6 p.m. Dec 1 at Grand Rapids Civic Theatre, 30 N. Division Ave. -- assuming that the 50 copies that shipped Saturday arrive by then. You can read more about the book at lulu.com/spotlight/suemerrell

Another Lulu fan

2010-11-21T15:29:00.004-05:00

Echoing Sue's experience to some degree, I found publishing on Lulu to be, if not exactly easy and straightforward, at least doable. Starting at the beginning and following the steps helps. Going back later for corrections and updates is a little more troublesome. I don't know how Sue gets her books so cheap!!! Lulu gets about $9.80 of each copy of my "Bedderhoff Dead." Which means I need to charge a bit more. Plus shipping. Of course I'm probably a bit bloated at 265+ pages. I hope Sue has a link she can post for promotion and sales. I'll throw mine out here: http://www.yoopernatural.com/

Mark

Bookin' it

2010-11-20T22:41:00.002-05:00

I'm not the kind of person to watch the mail box. I let it accumulate for days and check it maybe once a week. But lately I've been watching when the mail truck arrives, grabbing my keys and heading for the box. Reminds me of back during the Vietnam War when I was delivering mail one summer and young wives would wait for my arrival and that air mail letter on the tissue thin paper with an APO return address.

I'm awaiting an even more elusive lover -- my book. I published my memoir, Laughing for a Living, on Lulu. At first it seemed so easy. My son helped me with the cover design and all the technical PDF, embedded type stuff. We did the deed on Halloween weekend like some satanic ritual. I kept waiting for the Web site to make some outrageous demand of money, but it never happened.

"Congratulations!" it said. "You're a published author." No charge. Now it was time to order books. The site suggested one for proofing but I was brave. I ordered 20 at $6.74 each. Shipping and handling -- that's where they make their money -- added another $1.25 a book. I figured if I was lucky, they would get here by Thanksgiving, just in time to distribute to family as a surprise Christmas gift.

A couple of days later, I was pulling out of the driveway and spotted a box on my porch. It couldn't be. It was! My book. And it looked gooooooood. Great, in fact. I was so excited I announced it on Facebook. A dozen friends expressed interest. 20 books was not going to be enough.

I called Bruce Tinker, the executive director of Grand Rapids Civic Theatre. The cover is a funny photo of me standing in front of the theater on the day I retired from The Press. I offered Bruce a proposition. If they want to sell the book in the lobby before "Peter Pan," they can have all proceeds over my cost. He needed a few days to discuss it with staff. I dropped off a book for his perusal. He called me back. They loved it. Could I get them 50? And do a book signing?

It's Monday, a week after Halloween, I should have plenty of time to get 50 by the time the show opens on Nov. 19. Eleven days. But the opening weekend is hectic and I'm out of town for Thanksgiving the following week. We agree to do the book signing on Wednesday, Dec. 1. Plenty of time.

Enough time that I decide to make a few revisions. Nothing major. I wanted to credit the friend who took the cover photo, correct a misspelling or two. To do these changes I needed to upload a new pdf and delete the old. I didn't want to bother my son, so I downloaded Open Office to create a new PDF, followed the directions on Lulu, and voila. I'm a published author again.

This time I order just one book to proof it. What if I did something wrong in making the PDF, even though it looks okay online? I check the box to have it sent by US mail. It's just one little book. Three days, I think.

That was Nov. 8 and I'm still checking the mail daily. The proof has not arrived. Unlike FedEx or UPS, the US Mail doesn't offer tracking. I chat with the people at Lulu. Nothing they can do. It was shipped Nov. 10. Nov. 17 is two weeks before the book signing. I decide I need to order 50 books by that day, even though I haven't seen the proof. Surely, they will look just as good as the first 20. Surely.

So, I meet the mail truck. I order promotional bookmarks and a poster of the cover to use on my booksigning table, and I meet the mail truck. Still no proof. The Press calls to do a story about my book and all I can do is spill my guts about the missing proof. Will the other books arrive? Dare I give out the Christmas gifts as planned?

I used to think getting published was the hardest part of writing. That was before I knew about waiting for the mail.

Tension

2010-10-05T21:33:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Frustrated. Today's Music: Linkin Park, A Thousand Suns. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

*******

It's been a long time since I've blogged, but I want everyone to know that I am writing. I went to an awesome Fiction Critique, and I've attended a Fall Writing Retreat, and I've dragged my butt out of bed at the ungodly hour of 5:30 a.m. every week day to write. The rough draft is inching along toward completion--and I do mean inching. Wish I was a faster writer. But hey, at least I see progress. Still have that 2010 goal.

I want to write/think/contemplate/dialog about creating tension in your writing. However, tonight I don't have time so I thought I'd throw it out there, let people give me their thoughts. Then, when I have an evening where I'm not keeling over with exhaustion, I'd try to put my thoughts into words.

So what do you think? What is tension and how do you create tension in your writing?

Insane

2010-09-07T21:27:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: overwhelmed. Today's Music: Linkin Park. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

*******

First day back to work with students. First off, let me just say that 5:30 a.m. is so NOT morning. It is the freaking middle of the night! When my alarm went off I couldn't help but think that just as early as the morning before, I could have rolled over and got another 3 1/2 hours of sleep!

The library is hot, dusty, and so not ready for operations as normal. No email or Internet is a good thing when I'm suppose to be writing though. Unfortunately I sat and did more stressing over the scene than actually writing. This is the scene that was killing me before I took a break to go camping. So maybe that's why the break lasted as long as it did!

I need to move on in a big way. Just start a new scene or something. Maybe I should just skip the scene altogether. Cut it out. But...but....

Gahhhhh! I can't think anymore. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow will be better. Right?

Fall Goal

2010-08-28T22:45:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: Purposeful. Today's Music: Alan Parson's Project. Today's Writing: If defined broadly, IFFY. Today's Quote:

*******

It's back to school time. The end of long summer days that stretch out in front of me, full of potential for writing, painting, drawing, playing in the waves, riding my bike, and all sorts of other no doubt wonderful things. I'll miss that--the potential, the possibilities that exist. Each day I'd wake up and lie in bed, spinning out a colorful tapestry in my mind of all the adventures waiting for me. Yeah, most of the time real life interfered and I'd end out cleaning or taking my kids to the dentist, but oh, just the freedom of possibilities!

However, there is one good thing about summer's end; I actually attempt to accomplish all the things I meant to do in June and July--and put off. Why, this last week I got more projects crossed off my list than I did the whole rest of the summer. And I have to remind myself that life doesn't end just because I go back to work. It speeds up (which is scary since the whole dang summer went by so fast it was a rainbow-colored blur!), but it doesn't mean I can't do the things that feed me--one of them being writing.

In fact, routine is good for writing, good for me anyway. I go to work early and write. And to teachers, the start of the school year is like New Year's Day--we make our resolutions or goals for the upcoming school year. So this school year, 2010/2011, I aim to finish my rough draft of IFFY. I'm even going to turn the screws a little tighter and say that I aim to finish my rough draft in 2010.

There. I said it. I blogged it. And thus it is official.

Now I just have to do it.

Test

2010-08-10T09:47:00.001-04:00

I am at such a loss with blogs, but I am determined not to let this gremlin win. This is a test blog entry to see if I know what I'm doing.

Process

2010-07-14T11:11:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: Lifehouse. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"I would write a book, or a short story, at least three times--once to understand it, the second time to improve the prose, and a third to compel it to say what it still must say. Somewhere I put it this way: first drafts are for learning what one's fiction wants him to say. Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing: 'The men and things of today are wont to lie fairer and truer in tomorrow's meadow,' Henry Thoreau said." -Bernard Malamud

*******

Peninsula Writers' summer conference was all about process. Mary Ann Samyn, the keynote speaker, said "I write every day, but I define writing very broadly." She spoke of process as 'paying attention'. Noticing everything--even all the little things that make up a day, like folding laundry and mowing the lawn. What smells are associated with those tasks? What emotions? So often we go through life on autopilot, just doing our chores, our business without really thinking about it. As writers we need to PAY ATTENTION. Mary Ann said it helps her to think of the day as "on loan".

I like this idea. Somehow it makes the day seem a bit different--special somehow. And it certainly makes me notice things more. It reminds me of when my car was in the shop and they gave me a loaner car. I still did my regular errands--work, picking up kids, going to the grocery store--but it was different. Even the kids payed more attention to the way the car felt, sounded, smelled. I was more intentional about things. Intention is defined as "done by intention or design. Intent = directed with keen attention. If I go about my day with intention, I am keenly aware of everything. The same follows if I go about my writing with intention.

The other thing that struck me about Mary Ann's talk on Process, was her comment that writers need to stay "crouched down" by their writing. We need to stay close to the writing. Even when it gets tough. Especially when it is tough. Going back to her definition of writing, I don't think that means I need to keep hammering away at the keyboard even when it isn't working--at least, not always. Sometimes the 'butt in chair' method does work for me. But there are other ways of remaining "crouched down". (Isn't that a great phrase? Gives me such a good picture.)

Samyn said she takes her writing with her wherever she goes. Literally. She prints off the poem she is working on and takes it with her--to get her oil changed. To work. Wherever. That way she can keep working on it even when she isn't actively writing it. Helps to have a pen or pencil with you as well.

Mary Ann also reads it aloud. Again and again. Hence the idea of taking it with you wherever you go. Listen to how it sounds. What pictures does your brain display as it hears the words, the story? Somehow the words change when they are spoken. A weird alchemy occurs. I have experienced this with my small writing group--when I read my piece of writing out loud to them, I catch things I didn't before. Knowing that they are listening makes me hear it different. That's why my small writing group is such an important part of my process.

So, where does that leave us? I've heard the writing process defined in a lot of different ways. Some have worked for me, some have not. The older (and better, I hope) I get, the more I realize how each person's writing process is unique. Do you like Mary Ann's definition of "paying attention"? How would you define it?

Most of all--keep writing!

Debriefing the writing process

2010-06-15T22:19:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: a tad high-strung. Today's Music: nothing. Today's Writing: nothing. Today's Quote:

"Remember, you are the creator of your own life story." -Don Miguel Ruiz, Don Jose Ruiz in The Fifth Agreement.

*******

Ah yes, it's been awhile. A long while as a matter of fact. Lots of things going on in the world and in my life. Even some writing, I'm glad to say. Not as much as I'd like, but even that is good. Something to strive for in the weeks, months, years to come.

At present I am looking forward to going up to beautiful Glen Lake and living among writers for a week, and writing. Writing 24/7--or as much as I can while still allowing for eating and sleeping. Unlike years past, I haven't had much time to anticipate or stress over going because I have had a sick kid. But now that she is feeling better, the excitement is starting to fizz. We are doing a silent auction this year and I spent the evening getting my entries ready--and no, I'm not telling what they are--other than that they are so cool and everyone will want to bid on them. I hope.

The other thing I'm starting to think about is the debriefing session I am suppose to lead next week. (Debriefing being where we talk about the writing process.) I'm at a bit of a loss for a topic--not that there aren't a lot of facets to the writing process, but that we have, at one time or another during the many years I have gone to this conference, already talked about them. So I've been hitting the writing/author/agent/publisher blogs hoping something inspires me, or confuses me, or angers me. Hunting for an interesting topic.

Anyone have any suggestions? It gets even harder when you consider we are not all fiction writers. We are not all poets. We are not all trying to get published. We are not all writing for children--or teens--or adults. Sooooo it has to be a topic that applies to all writers.

So far on my list of possibilities:

how to deal with critiques, technology and writing--help or hindrance?, wait time (as in, how long do you let something sit before revision?), exploring different genres, the changing publishing industry and its impact on writers, word ruts and how to get out of them.

Any favorites? Anything other burning questions/concerns you wish someone would talk about with you? (on the topic of writing, mind you!)

Giddy Friday

2010-04-23T22:20:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Hmm, exhausted by giddy that it is Friday = slaphappy? Today's Music: Random Shuffle. Today's Writing: IFFY (of course--still working on the 2 pages for today--can I count the blog as well?) Today's Quote:

"What's the most positive thing you could tell writers today?" "That it really matters that they write." --from the May/June 2010 Writer's Digest interview with Anne Lamott.

*******

It's Friday! I can't believe I made it! This week I swore I was going to do a better job at getting up on time so my writing didn't get cut short. The alarm would ring and I'd hit the snooze, still more asleep than awake. 9 minutes later. The damn alarm. Again. This time I'd scrub my eyes, groan, even thrash about and change position. Five more minutes, I'd promise, I'll get up in five. more. minutes.

I did manage to drag my sorry, tired body out of bed 15 minutes earlier than last week. 15 minutes. That's all I could manage. Then the one day the cat had thrown up during the night (can't believe I didn't hear that!), so there went my hard-won 15 minutes, cleaning up cat puke.

It was great to come home on Thursday and read the interview with Anne Lamott. To be told--by a great writer at that--that it mattered if I wrote. Made my day. Made me re-commit to writing every day. I mean, writing 2 pages a day, not just tapping out two sentences only to delete one if not both of them.

And I can't believe how true it is that when I make the time--the story is there. The characters show up. I took my shower last night, so busy thinking about the scene I had been working on just prior, that I all of a sudden realized I didn't know if I had shampooed, conditioned, or both. Then another idea occurred to me (about the beginning of the story). I got out, grabbed a towel and went to jot it all down in my journal before I forgot.

This week I realized I cannot do my best at everything at the same time. This therapy moment might have come about when my youngest daughter asked me, "If you could pick another job, what would it be?" Me: a writer. Oldest daughter: You already are that--it's your second-hand job. (isn't there a passage in the Bible about not letting the one hand know what the other is doing?)

So okay, I give. Uncle. I cannot do my best as a librarian, a mom, a writer, a wife, an exerciser (not sure that's even a word, but I certainly don't qualify for exercise guru or exercise nut), a housekeeper, and a cook. In fact, I'm pretty sure I only have the energy to do my best at one thing at a time. Don't know if I should assign days--oops, sorry honey, today's my day to do my best as a writer, not as a wife--or maybe just settle for doing everything okay.

Good thing Anne Lamott urges me to write those shitty first drafts. Now that is something I can do.

Happy Friday.

Writing pure

2010-04-06T16:32:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: contemplative. Today's Music: IFFY playlist. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"Writers need to be like Zen students. We require Still Pond. That is, psychic space in which nothing else is happening. If you're a frantic scheduler, it's likely you're carrying around the Burden of Being Everything to Everyone." -Heather Sellers, Chapter after Chapter.

*******

I've been reading poetry lately in an effort to prime my writing pump. (Which must be working to some degree because I am writing--of course, that could also be due to having writing group (which means I have to have something to share) or Spring Break)

I came across Billy Collin's poem, Purity. At first, I liked it because it was funny. Funny to me anyway. It starts off talking about his favorite time to write--"in the late afternoon, weekdays, particularly Wednesdays."

Then the poet goes on to detail exactly how he goes about writing. Always interested in hearing about someones writing process, I read the poem very seriously.

Get a fresh pot of tea--Hey, I do that!
Take off clothes--okay, that's a little weird. Cold, too. But whatever works.
Remove flesh and hang it over a chair--Oh, so, this is metaphorical. He probably doesn't really take off his clothes, either.
"Finally I remove each of my organs and arrange them on a small table near the window."--I like how he doesn't want "their ancient rhythms" interfering with his writing.
So he's now ready to begin, nothing but a skeleton at a typewriter--whew, what's the pub. date on this? 1991. Okay, yeah. Bet he uses a computer now.

And then comes the stanza that cracks me up:

I should mention that sometimes I leave my penis on.
I find it difficult to ignore the temptation.
Then I am a skeleton with a penis at a typewriter.

Okay, that picture in my head is so funny I have to go down and share it with my husband. He thinks it's kind of weird. Mildly amusing, but weird.

Collins goes on to explain how he writes "extraordinary love poems, most of them exploiting the connection between sex and death."

I think about that for awhile. Sex and death. The primitive drive for life, or continuance of life, and the unavoidable journey toward death.

The poem continues, and the poet talks about how he eventually removes his penis too. "Now I write only about death, most classical of themes in language light as the air between my ribs."

It doesn't come to me until later that Collins is talking about the process writers undergo of getting outside of themselves, their own preconceived ideas, thoughts, experiences. And maybe, truly the hardest part is getting outside of our perception as males or females. I suppose I see things in a certain way because I am female--and often I am unaware of how that influences what I perceive.

Do you think it is important to try to step outside ourselves as we write? To take off our clothes, hang up our flesh, remove our organs--maybe even our sex organs? Is this even possible?

Spring!

2010-03-31T20:25:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: Happy. Today's Music: Right now--Storm by Lifehouse, which doesn't exactly fit with the happy mood, but hey, I'm a woman of complexity. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

This is the only life I have, this one in my head,
the one that travels along the surface of my body
singing the low voltage song of the ego
- from "One Life to Live" by Billy Collins in Questions About Angels

*******

I was stuck at work for awhile today, waiting for the network to function and upload my pictures (thinking in my blind optimistic way that it would be faster than actually going out to my car and driving across town to Walgreens--alas, it was not), and I picked up a book of poetry by Mary Oliver. After reading several of her poems, I vowed to rededicate myself to reading at least one poem a day. Not that it has to be one of her poems--although she is a fabulous poet. I just want to hear the language of poetry. I want the images perking in my brain all day. Every day.

Life has been particularly busy, and rather stressful as well with all the political stuff going on in Lansing and in the nation. (Can you believe our Attorney General is going to sue the U.S. Government?! Talk about frivolous lawsuits--with money we don't have.) None of it helps my writing. I need to crave out a space of quiet, of time to think. And maybe even more important than that is an attitude of quiet. An attitude of contemplation.

Poetry can help. I think reading poetry every day helps my mind quiet itself, quit chewing on its own tail. And maybe then I'll be able to hear my story a little quicker, a little louder.

I love to feel the daily turning of the pages,
the sentences unwinding like string,
and when something really important happens,
I walk out to the edges of the page
and, always the student,
make an asterisk, a little star, in the margin.
-from "Cliche", by Billy Collins in Questions About Angels

How's the writing life been treating you lately? Has the muse been visiting regular like, or is she hopelessly late and often out of town?

Surprises

2010-03-17T07:09:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Lucky..... Today's Music: U2--Helter Skelter. Today's Writing: IFFY (getting close to 80,000 words) Today's Quote:

And here's what I think is one of the very most important thing to do in a query: be as specific as possible. Allow me to be even more specific: be as specific as possible about the right things. -Nathan Bransford

*******

I know, I know, it's been awhile. Lots of things going on--although possibly not as much writing as I SHOULD be doing. But see, I'm trying to get rid of shoulds in my life. They don't serve much purpose besides making me feel guilty, which usually just makes me do things like eat chocolate and drink wine--oh, and whine.

Khardomah was great. I got two more chapters written, and was on a roll the last day when--of all annoying things--a new character showed up. And now I've been stalling, unsure of exactly why the character is there. Just because my brain coughed her up doesn't mean I should put her in the book. But for some reason one of my important characters wanted to introduce her to my main character.

I've been fiddling around, trying out different possibilities for who this character is and why she is important. The only way to find out is to write it and then see if it fits. Still, it's kind of hard to write until I have a direction.

So I was wondering if anyone else had this experience of something unexpected showing up in their writing--and not knowing right away what it was there for. Or even if they SHOULD include it or ditch it. What do you do about it?

Character Thoughts

2010-02-12T17:20:00.007-05:00

Today's Mood: Relieved (it is the weekend after all.) Today's Music: Maroon 5. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. ~Ray Bradbury

*******

On Monday I met with my small writing group. I read part of a chapter from IFFY that I'd written several days earlier. A couple things came up in the feedback that got me thinking--scary, I know.

The dilemma: do you or do you not italicize a character's thoughts? I had one person in the group (and I have to say, I've had another writer tell me the same thing) say that if writing in first person, you don't italicize at all because technically everything is in the character's head.

My feeling has always been that it is helpful to readers to italicize DIRECT THOUGHTS. For example, at the start of this scene, Jane comes in the house humming a tune.

The tune was one off the new CD Eva had given me a while back. I'll call her, straighten things out. I took off my boots and lined them along the wall.

The sentence I italicized (put in bold since blogspot italicizes all blockquotes) is a direct thought. I suppose I could have written something like-- I thought about calling her and straightening things out. Then I wouldn't italicize it.

Others in the group felt I should have italicized more than I did. At the end of the scene (after the mother clips off the thread) I didn't italicize and several people in the group thought I should. (**Remember: blockquotes are italicized on Blogspot--my original didn't italicize any of it.)

"What are you saying? That you're getting a divorce?"
"No."
Had there been a hesitation?

To me, last line wasn't direct internal dialog. Otherwise she would have said something like- Did she hesitate?

It all got me thinking, and so I did some digging. I found some helpful posts on the matter. Overall it seems like italics should be reserved for IMPORTANT direct thoughts. They should be written in first person present tense because it is the character talking to him/herself. People talk in first person, present tense.

This blog post, Points on Style, deals with the difference between direct and indirect thoughts.

I liked how this talked about how italics weren't necessary if you were writing "deep viewpoint" --as in, writing from inside one person's head. Point of View writing, I guess you could say.

There was another great post I read and bookmarked, but it was on a different computer. I'll link it in the comments when I find out the address.

What do YOU like to see when reading a book? What do YOU do when writing character thoughts?

Workspace inspiration

2010-02-07T14:33:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: Sort of blah. Today's Music: Nothing at the moment. Today's Writing: This blog post. Today's Quote:

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same." -Anne Frank

*******

I'm a firm believer that people can write anywhere. There is no magic writing place, nor is there any sense in waiting to be inspired before I sit down to write. Now mind you, I didn't always believe this. For a number of years I believed I had to be sad or depressed in order to write (which didn't bode well for getting over depression). And then for a while I bought into the idea that I could only write in my office at school. Not worth bothering trying to write at home during summer vacation--too many distractions and interruptions.

But maybe if I had an "office" at home, maybe that would help.

So I purchased an awesome little desk with all sorts of wonderful cubbies to put things in. I created a space between the cat litter boxes and the washer and dryer. I put up shelves, lined them with my writing books, and even put a white board on the wall. My office. But the magical inspiration didn't happen. Writing was still hard work. Writing still involved sitting my butt down and laboring over the keyboard, giving birth to words and sentences with agonizing labor.

Funny thing happened though; once I accepted that writing was going to be hard work for me, I learned I could write anywhere and at any time. After all, hard work was hard work no matter where I was situated.

So when I titled this post workspace inspiration, I meant the kind of inspiration that feeds me as a person, not the magic inspiration that makes writing easy--although if you have some of that, feel free to pass it my way.

So what inspires me. Well, music for one. I keep my ipod handy, and I have quite a few Cd's loaded on my laptop as well. I have a collection of shells, sea glass, and rocks on my desk. All things I've picked up over the years. Cards from friends (often my writing friends), pictures of moments I like to remember, quotes that make me think (or remind me of what is important in life), even stupid things like cardboard coasters that I've taken from various different restaurants.

I like to write seated on the floor in my bedroom. On top of my bedside table, I have the book I'm currently reading, The Wild Trees by Richard Preston, a card from a friend of mine, two journals, an idea log, the book, How to Heal with Color by Ted Andrews (research for my WIP), and a book of poetry- Questions about Angels by Billy Collins.

On the bottom shelf I have Energy Medicine, The Subtle Body, How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too (bought in sheer self-defense--or desperation) and two books with the art of Amy Brown. And over in a bag by the dresser, I have the caramel shortcake mini-bites my sister gave me for my birthday, and a pack of supermint gum.

Downstairs is my "office" if you want to call it that. I have shelves lined with my favorite writing and drawing books. I have racks of Cd's, a jar of paintbrushes, candles, and a sign urging me to Simplify.

Now maybe it all sounds like clutter to you, but I find meaning and inspiration in these items. And feeding the me, ends out feeding the writing.

What's in your workspace that feeds your soul?

Follow-ups and things to ponder

2010-01-31T21:21:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: Horny (my husband suggested this one--but then wanted me to take it off.) Today's Music: UB40. Today's Writing: Author Bio for PW Anthology. Today's Quote:

*******

We had a discussion several posts ago about writing author bios. I was frustrated because I wasn't sure what to include. What the agent would want to know about me? My hobbies? My schooling? Whether or not I had pets? I mean really, I put the most pertinent points in the query letter.

Since then I have come across a great post on Anne R. Allen's Blog about exactly what should be included in an author bio. I did a few things wrong, so I wanted to share it with you so you won't be in the same regretful state as me. My biggest mistake was not writing the bio in third person. Now I know.

I also came across another helpful post (I'd link to it but I do not remember what blog it was on. I looked at all my regulars (note the blogs listed to the left), but couldn't find it. Nonetheless, I wanted to share what I had read. It was an agent talking about requested materials, and he/she said that they are not sitting there waiting for it to show up. Thus they do not go, "Gee, Sarah hasn't got that requested partial back to me and it's been a whole week!" They probably don't even notice if it has been a month, so there is no need to panic and throw the first thing you can in the mail. Take the time needed to make it right.

Now, having said that, I have to be honest and say it has really helped to have a query ready, a list of agents ready, and now an author bio. ready. When I get a response, I have the majority of what I need for the next step--whether that be submitting to another agent, or sending on more material to the same agent.

It's taken me a long time to learn this. Rachelle Gardner had a post about how long it took for a writer to become savvy about the writing business. I'd say I'm still learning. I knew quite a bit after about a year of submitting, but I still have things to learn. I would think one would have to keep learning in this business because it keeps changing. Look at the new ipad--how that has changed the way ebooks are sold. Agent Kristin Nelson has an interesting post on that subject. So I don't think I'll declare all knowledge just yet.

How about you? How long have you been learning about the business? Do you consider yourself an expert?

Well, I'd better head off to bed so I can get up early and write. After all, the most important thing of all is a good story.

Gremlins

2010-01-23T21:35:00.003-05:00

Today's Mood: Neutral. Today's Music: Maroon 5. Today's Writing: Nada. Today's Quote:

"Get away from her, you bitch!" -Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) in Aliens

*******

I'm sitting here watching the movie Aliens. I've seen it a half dozen times and it still pulls me tense as a bow string. How does one kill aliens? If a whole team of trained soldiers can't do it, how could one person do it? And yet, Ripley does--more than once.

So how do I kill my gremlins? How do trained writers kill off those voices that tell them their writing is awful, and what are they thinking trying to get stuff published?

I try to focus on the fact that I write because I love to write, because I need to write in order to feel okay with my world. And I try hard to trust my writing group when they tell me my stuff is good. The requests for partials and fulls, the glowing report from the writing contest--it all helps. But the doubts, those little gremlins, still manage to find their way inside my barricade. I need some heavy artillery.

What else can I use? Anyone got any tried and true ways to obliterate those hideous writing monsters? Right now Ripley is roasting aliens with a flame thrower. Maybe I should try that.

The personality of verbs

2010-01-16T20:02:00.003-05:00

Today's Mood: Hmmm, sort of grumpy, I guess. Today's Music: None (maybe that's why I'm grumpy.) Today's Writing: Nothing yet (another reason to be grumpy.) Today's quote:

That's her [the writer's] skill--to be affected more than others by "absent things," and to express them in words as they arise. A writer draws her heart close to that of another--lets herself slip--into the "beat" of another. - from The Intuitive Writer: listening to your own voice by Gail Sher

*******

I've been talking with my creative writing class about verbs--vivid verbs and action verbs. And I got thinking about how much you can develop character just by watching your verbs. Maybe you all already knew this, but for some reason, I never put the two together--at least, not consciously. Yup, I remember my teachers talking about using the active voice instead of the passive voice. it makes your writing more coherent and less wordy. But I don't remember my teachers ever talking about how much I could develop character by paying strict attention to the verbs I used. Sure, most characters walk, but does my character swagger, or meander, or rush? Says a lot about the personality right there. When that character (let's call her Saffy) talks, does she lisp? slur? whisper? shout? question? drawl? And how about when Saffy looks at something. Does she stare? glare? peek? gaze? glance?

Saffy swaggered down the hall glaring at everyone in sight.
Saffy meandered down the hall gazing at everyone in sight.
Saffy slunk down the hall peeking at everyone through the curtain of her hair. (okay, so I added some to this one.)

I can change the personality of the character just by changing the verbs I use.

Hopefully I've done this in my writing in the past. What I'd like to do now, is INTENTIONALLY use verbs to create character. Granted, I'll have to do most of this in the revision/edit stage. I don't want to spend too long hunting for the perfect verb while I'm rough drafting. Shoot, I overthink things as it is. I'm finding (in my own very slow and laborious way) that writing fast can be good for me. It can help get the initial flow of the story down on the paper. Often it helps preserve the raw emotion of the piece from wherever it came from inside me. Revision is where I can fine-tune it. Polish it. Finesse it into the beauty it is meant to be.

How deliberate are you with your verbs? Do you work at it in the rough stage, or look them over afterward in revision?

The Angst of trying to get published

2010-01-06T17:40:00.005-05:00

Today's Mood: Subdued. Today's Music: Shuffle. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"You do not create a style. you work and develop yourself; your style is an emanation from your own being." -Katherine Anne Porter

*******

I spent my writing time--my two-page-a-day time--this Christmas break working on queries. I think I wrote 7 different versions of the same letter. Tweak a sentence in this paragraph, move a word in this sentence, and cut out a whole paragraph in this version. I've read books--Writer's Market, The How Sell Your Novel Tool Kit--and blogs--Nathan Blansford, Editorial Anonymous, Query Shark--so I know the basics of the query letter. But what I really want is someone--no some agent or publisher--to tell me exactly what I should write in order to get them to say yes.

And of course, this won't happen unless I write something and send it.

So, as a very wise person advised me (thanks, Tricia), I compiled a list of possible agents and then sent out query letters to 5 of them. That was Sunday.

On Monday afternoon, I got the first rejection. Email rejections come so much faster than snail mail. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I sighed and picked another agent on the list, and sent out another query.

Monday evening another agent response was in my inbox. I was pretty sure it was a rejection since it came so fast. But--lo and behold--it was a request for a partial! Happiness... and then more angst. The agent wants an author bio.

So what does an agent want to know about a writer? How determined she is? How prolific? What she looks like? Who she hangs with--or should I say, how many kids she has that pull time away from writing?

Anyone written an author biography for a publisher or agent? Have any ideas as to what I should include? I know it should show your personality to some degree, but face it, it rarely does any good to get too buddy-buddy too fast. I think it should be personable but professional. What do you think?

Ready, set, ACTION--or maybe not.

2009-12-30T11:20:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: low level stress. Today's Music: New Moon soundtrack. Today's Writing: Black Dragon Queries (again). Today's Quote:

"Every good novelist knows how to pump up the action in high-energy scenes. Every best-selling writer has an instinct for building pace, then letting off on the gas, then racing to the finish of a novel." -from The Writer's Little Helper by James V. Smith

*******

I was re-reading a few chapters from City of Glass by Cassandra Clare, and--as most things are prone to do--it got me thinking about the novel I'm working on. Specifically, it got me thinking about the amount of action in my story versus published works. Now, for those of you not fortunate enough to have read City of Glass, let me note that it is a fantasy that boils down to saving the world as we know it. So yes, lots of action. I mean, when you're talking demons and vampires and shadow hunters, there's going to be action.

In my book, the fate of the world is not hanging in balance. No one has to save the planet from being over-run by demons. Maybe the main character has to save her own soul, maybe even save her dad, or at least try to keep her family intact, but no world saving going on here. So how do I make sure there is enough action? I mean, sometimes it feels like ordinary things such as family, friends, high school (okay, so maybe that is a more life-hanging-in-the balance kind of thing), and dealing with the opposite sex (ditto on that) are just too mundane to build up huge amounts of action/tension. Look at my life--not all that exciting. (Well, okay, the lost Nintendo got dicey for awhile--lots of screaming involved. But no one was going to DIE because of it (contrary to some little person's belief.))

So for those of us not writing horror, fantasy, or suspense/mystery, how do we build in tension and action? I dug out my copy of The Writer's Little Helper and took a look at the chapter called "the ACIIIDS Test for evaluating scenes." ACIIIDS stands for Action, Conflict, Imagery, Invention, Irony, Dialogue, and Suspense. The author argues that every important scene should contain each of those elements--although ONE of those elements should dominate the scene.

In the book, there is a handy chart for the writer to evaluate the intensity of each of these elements. Action, for example, goes from impending, to incidental to overt to urgent to frenetic. Suspense = invisible, subtle, cheap, chapter show, awesome, and nail-biter. I liked the one for dialogue (which I always seem to have a lot of in my books) because it shows you can build intensity into a scene that way as well. Dialogue = internal, monologue, debate, argument, and imbroglio (I had to look that up. It means an embarrassing or serious misunderstanding; a complicated situation. Personally, I would have used screaming match or fight or something like that--but then, I work with middle school kids all the time.)

I find it interesting that the author of this books deals with readability/reading ease/words per sentence type stuff when it talks about how to evaluate and adjust your pacing. He suggests using the word processing tools to help you figure out the reading ease of your scenes, and then plot that on a graph. That way you get a good idea of the ups and downs of your piece--as well as an overall look at the readability of your piece. He suggests that if you have a scene that is supposed to be high action/drama/conflict, that you make sure it reads at a faster pace. "Remember, the quickest way to pick up the pace in a scene is to cut. Cut long sentences down to size. Cut long words from the piece. Use short words instead. Cut the passive voice to 0 percent. use simple declarative sentences, active voice, short paragraphs."

Granted, some books might just be more the page-turner type. Still, it sounds like any story can be ratcheted up by working on concrete things. I can include more intensity in the action, conflict, imagery, invention, irony, dialogue, and suspense in my scenes. I can adjust the pacing by paying attention to the readability of the scene--playing with sentence length, word size, and active vs. passive voice. All of these are do-able things.

Still, maybe a body or two thrown in for good measure....
What do you do to make sure the reader keeps turning pages?

Writing amid the hustle and bustle

2009-12-20T22:16:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: Introspective. Today's Music: U2. Today's Writing: IFFY (2 pages) Today's Quote:

"Understand you're asking the reader to slip through a tiny keyhole--to enter your room of suspended belief." -James McBride

*******

Holiday shopping amidst insane crowds of people; holiday party with a whole bunch of people I don't know; children fighting over the computer, the cat, the amount of attention they get from me--it all makes it hard to find a quiet spot to think, much less write. But somehow I have to crave out some space, just enough to find the doorway into that other world, that world I'm creating.

I have a spot behind my dresser, leaning against the full-length mirror, next to the cold-air return. That is where I've been hiding out to write. It works because someone just glancing into my room doesn't see me right away. It works because there really is no room for anyone else to sit next to me (other than the cat). And maybe best of all, it works because I feel like a kid again--sneaking off to play when I should be cleaning my room or something hopelessly boring and mundane.

The two-page-a-day has been good for me in a couple of different ways. First off, I have to crank it out, so I can't over think things (at least, not too much). And second, when I say "I have to do my two pages, " it turns it into homework, a job, something that I--and my family--sees as important (maybe even more important than housework or laundry--unfortunately, not cooking. My family still won't forgo a meal so I can write--ungrateful wretches. : ))

Still, having said all that, I have to confess I'm now in the hole 6 pages. But how cool is that? I have to make it up. I can actually get away with saying--I need to write all day because I'm 6 pages behind!

So I'm going to write tomorrow. The kids are going to daycare and I'm going to sit in the hospital waiting room and write. What better place? I can't go anyway and it's always quiet and boring. The doorway between worlds can be anyway. You just have to find it.

Where do you find space in the holiday madness?

Page by page

2009-12-09T14:13:00.003-05:00

Today's Mood: Determined. Today's Music: Robert Pollard. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"Understand you're asking the reader to slip through a tiny keyhole--to enter your room of suspended belief." -Tennessee Williams

*******

I was reading the latest issue of Writer's Digest this past weekend. There was an article giving tips on finishing your novel--always an interest of mine. One of the tips hit home. "Finish your rough draft as fast as possible. It tends to keep the story--the plot--more linear, more focused."

And how do I do that? I wondered. Especially when I don't have time to write this year. Especially when I've been working on the same paragraph for the last 2 weeks.

The author of the article went on to talk about how she made sure she wrote 2 pages a day. It kept her moving forward, not getting caught in the rut of endless revising.

Hmmm, I thought, 2 pages. I could do that if I just wrote and didn't overthink everything. After all, it's not like I don't know where the story has to go. I have a basic idea of what scenes I need to include. Maybe I should try it.

So the next morning I wrote faster. I made myself write--and keep going even when I wasn't totally thrilled with what was coming out on the paper (computer screen that is). I didn't quite finish the 2 pages, so I grabbed a little more writing time after school. And then a little more after the kids were in bed.

In an effort to keep myself accountable, I emailed the two pages to a writing friend. Told her it was my goal to write 2 pages a day. Told her she didn't have to read it/probably shouldn't read it. Just to look for the two pages and bug me if I didn't send them.

Next night I had to stay up a little later to finish the 2 pages, but finish I did. Emailed them off before mid-night.

Best part is that the story is getting hotter. It's running through my head again at all hours. I'm wanting to get up at the impossibly early crack of dawn to write (and that is just not normal!)
So maybe the writing isn't steller. It's a rough draft. It's okay. Really Sarah, it's okay. You can go back and revise after it is done. Come on, just another page to go....

Hunting fresh images

2009-11-29T21:39:00.004-05:00

Today's Mood: Laid back. Today's Music: U2--Rattle and Hum. Today's Writing: nil, nothing, zip, zero. Today's Quote:

Some people change because they see the light, others because they feel the heat.
- David Thornburg

*******

How do you go about finding/thinking of fresh images? As writers we are supposed to avoid cliches, but finding GOOD fresh images is hard. I swear my mind gets in a rut (kind of like I do making dinner) and I can only think of certain things.

I picked up a new book of Billy Collins poetry--Questions About Angels--and as I sit reading it, I'm struck by what great images he comes up with. I suppose all good poetry is made up of images that help the reader see the world in new ways, but at the moment I am extolling Billy Collins. I'd love to see his notebook; does he have lots of things crossed out? Take this stanza:

"Clouds that once toured the air in the style
of dirigibles now gather helplessly in the kitchen
and stare at me across the long wooden table."

Might he have first tried: Clouds that once traveled above like race cars? Or maybe Clouds that flock together like sheep/ now huddle together in the pen/ and stare at me across the iron railing?

Do poets or writers as good as Collins work through a number of images, trying them on like hats until they find one that fits, that brings out their inner persona, be it a cowboy or a gangster? Or maybe they just see the world in fresh ways right from the start. Am I too jaded, too stuck in the deep muddy ruts on the main road to find the small deer path leading off into the forest?

Am I asking too many questions for this late at night? Probably, that's what poetry does to me.

So what do YOU do to come up with new images, metaphors, similes? Do you brainstorm? Make a web--kind of like Fleda Brown had us do at the fall retreat. Do you keep a journal with lists of possible metaphors/similes? Do you ... I don't know, read a lot? Try to connect new things and see if it works? Obviously I could use some help here.

Word Stealing

2009-11-20T15:03:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: Tired. Today's Music: Foo Fighters--The Color and the Shape. Today's Writing: IFFY--chapter who knows what, but I'm getting closer to the 65,000 word count. Today's Quote:

"Don't talk unless you can improve the silence." -Jorge Luis Borges

*******

I was word stealing with my creative writing students yesterday. I should do this on a regular basis. I had a stack of poetry books that we paged through, finding words that appealed or that we didn't use on a regular basis, and writing them down. We did this we Fleda Brown up at Glen Lake. I looked back at my words from that session, and then added a whole bunch of new ones (from a book of Walt Whitman's poetry)

Today when I was writing I tried to include at least one of those words. It's funny how even just using one word that you don't normally use can take your writing in a different direction. Really cool.

Some of my words: halo, aria, dusky, latent, dallying, mystic, sullen, flock, prong, murmur, swathed, candid, brine, enamoured, ample, capricious, cosmos, inception, glide, mania, prickling, gallant, strut, seething, withered.

How much fun are those? Feel free to steal--I did.

In the world of a writer

2009-11-13T15:18:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: Relieved (read that as TGIF) Today's Music: I'm checking out the Trans-Siberian Orchestra CD a friend lent me. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"It's not what you do once in a while. It's what you do day in and day out that makes the difference." -Jenny Craig

*******

I dragged my sorry butt out of bed only minutes before 6:00 a.m. That meant I had less time than ever to write this morning. And of course, I was just getting into it, just feeling the first faint stirring of the flow, like the second or third step into the river when the current starts to lap at your legs but isn't yet a constant pull, when the phone shrills and someone needs assistance.

The day progressed, troubleshooting about the building, cataloging books--and deciding that one needed to go to the high school since it was too racy for middle school, picking out books for Monday's classes, teaching my graphic novel class, and then finally, my creative writing class. The sixth graders, all ready to write, and me, excited about some more writing time. But then one needed help using the thesaurus and another wanted a starting line, still another had questions about what I was writing. And before I knew it, the hour was done, kids needed to check out, and a teacher wanted help with his voice enhancement system.

I vow to write this weekend. I want to. I need to. But I also know full-well what happens on weekends. Marisa wants to get her ears pierced having finally screwed up her courage, laundry is overflowing, the house could use a cleaning (really, you have no idea how much it could use a cleaning. We should fire the damn housekeeper--oh wait, that's me), and I suppose we'll have to eat as well.

BUT I WILL WRITE. somehow.

Romancing Reality

2009-11-04T12:32:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: Scattered. Today's Music: Simon & Garfunkel. Today's Writing: Black Dragon. Today's Quote:

"Art does not reproduce the visible; rather, it makes visible." -Paul Klee

*******

How do you romance your characters? Or your subject for those of you without characters. Do you immerse yourself in it? When I was writing Free Lunch I took up running because my main character was a runner. I decided it was much easier to write about running and the love of it than it was to do. My character in IFFY is into yoga. I've joined a yoga class--which I'm happy to say I enjoy much more than running. Wasn't hard to immerse myself in Black Dragon. Dangerous, yes. Hard to un-immerse, yes.

Listening to music is probably one of the best ways for me to romance my character--draw her closer, find out all about him, learn all his little mannerisms, likes and dislikes. I also like to paint or draw the character--or cut out pictures from magazines. I even cut out clothes that I think he/she would wear.

But most of all I need to think about him/her all the time--like if I was (to use my students' term) "crushing" on him/her. I invent conversations, I put him/her into different situations and try to imagine how he/she would react.

It's on my mind right now because I need to get to know Tobin better. He seems a bit shy--either that or I don't want to "ruin" him so I keep him nebulous. Self-defeating behavior, I know, but I'm not sure what to do about it--other than the things listed above. Maybe it really is a bit like my roommates idea of impossible lust. She insisted we all need to have AT LEAST one impossible lust--someone we lusted after who we would never-in-no-possible-way-ever connect with. (For example, one of mine is Johnny Depp) The joy of this was that you would never find out that they snored, had a terrible temper, were racist, or had a flatulence problem--none of that real life stuff. I think maybe I'm doing that a bit with my character. I want him to be perfect, and if I start writing about him, maybe I'll find out he's not.

Hmmm, I started this thinking about romance, and now I'm thinking I need a dose of reality instead of romance. Nobody is perfect. It's okay if my character aren't either.

Anyone else as neurotic as I am? Stand up and wave your hand. Reality--gotta love it.

Keeping the flow

2009-10-29T14:52:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: excited. Today's Music: Was listening to shuffle most of the day--am looking forward to listening to Sting's new album (heard about it at book club last night--the source of many good things). Today's Writing: Black Dragon--1st chapter (again...) Today's Quote:

*******

I've been busy lately. Way busier than I've wanted to be, although maybe that doesn't say much. Sick kids, sick husband, furiously scrubbing the house to prevent sick me, doctors, dentists, work, book club--it all takes time. And being busy and stressed means I don't have much time to write but I really need to write. So I got to thinking about how I can still spend quality time with my novel-in-progress even though we cannot always be together (in the flesh (leer)).

I like to spend some time every day at least thinking about the story or characters. Usually this is in the shower since that may be the only time I don't get interrupted--or at least rarely interrupted. But driving in my car is another place I do deliberate, purposeful daydreaming about my story.

Does anyone else have any great ideas on how to stay in touch with your writing project when you don't have time to actually write?

Promises, promises

2009-10-22T20:07:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Hmmm, tired but relaxed. Today's Music: Coldplay--Parachutes. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

*******

Let's talk about the promise of the first page or the first paragraph. At the SCBWI conference, one of the speakers talked about the promise that the first page--paragraph--made to the reader. Stories can start in many, many different ways, but they all make some sort of promise to the reader. As writers we need to be aware of what promises our stories are making. Does the book fulfill those promises?

So maybe the way you start your story promises it will be dark and scary, or maybe it promises it will be educational, or funny. The agent who critiqued my novel thought the first chapter promised that it was going to be a fantasy--and it really isn't. As a writer, I need to do something with that chapter to make sure it makes a promise it can fulfill. I need to change the chapter to make it clear it is realistic fiction story or problem/solution.

But I do wonder where the line is. I mean, don't you want to leave a little mystery? A little I- wonder-what-this-is-about-so-I'd-better-keep-reading-to-find-out? So it's a matter of setting it up but not giving it all away. Guess I've got a little work to do.

What promise does you first page/paragraph make?

2009-09-18T15:03:00.006-04:00

Today's Mood: Tired. Today's Music: Jazz--thanks to Mike S. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

*******

I've managed to get up at 5:30 in order to write every morning. Now I just wish I had more to show for it! It's driving me crazy; I'm so overthinking things, but I don't know how to stop. My poor characters are dang sick of hanging out in the parking lot, but I just can't seem to get them to go in. They're going to be late to class--serves them right for being contrary.

Doesn't help that my brain is shifting through way too much crap. Start of school is always cluttered up with open houses and stuff that isn't working, problems that need solving yesterday, and tired kids. Oh yeah, and tired me too. Really tired. Deep down, disintegrate my bones tired. Snap at the kids when I have to tell them to do something 5 times--oh wait, I do that normally. Anyway, I'm tired.

End of next week I head up to Glen Lake to write. Glorious wonderful days of writing. Granted I might have to kill off a few characters if they don't manage to head into the building, but at least I get to spend more than 1/2 hour at a time, coaxing them along.

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

So that was a month ago, and I never managed to get back to finish it until now. How sad is that? I did get my characters out of the parking lot (yea!), although now they seem to be stuck in the stairwell. Still overthinking things.

The SCBWI conference was ... awesome, tiring, fun, helpful, inspiring... It is so different than PW. Much, MUCH more focused on getting published. I think it's really good to have both. I'd certainly get depressed if I didn't have PW to help balance out, help remind me of why I like to write--and it isn't because of publishing.

Very interesting critique I had with an agent. She talked about what the first page/chapter promised and how it seemed different than what the synopsis said the book was going to be about. Then We had another speaker who talked about the promise of the first few pages. Every book, every bit of writing really, makes a promise to the reader. As writers, we need to be aware of what promise is being made, and be sure that what follows fulfills that promise.

So I'm revising Black Dragon again. Not huge things, but first chapter things. Promises made.

Hope that all you out there reading this (or not) are writing. Comment if you get a chance. Tell me to do a better job posting on this blog. I will definitely try. Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be enough time/energy/motivation in the day.

Perceive, believe

2009-09-08T22:03:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: Harried. Today's Music: Rilo Kiley - Better Son/Daughter. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"I've been reading accident reports of various kinds for thirty or more years. Call me callous, but to me they're like silent comedy movies. People do the strangest things and get themselves into the most amazing predicaments. You want to go wake up Tolstoy and Dostoevsky and say: Hey, you think your characters are crazy...." - Laurence Gonzales

*******

Man, oh man, getting up at 5:30 a.m. when you are used to 9:00 a.m. is harder than a one-legged lady dancing a jig--on her missing leg! And writing at 6:30 a.m. is just as hard--but sorta awesome too. Back to the routine. Back to the chaos. Back to the not-so-creative writing process that occasionally churns out some pretty creative stuff.

So okay, we were talking about survival (which does seem relevant given the chaos of the first day of school in a middle school). Laurence Gonzales in his book Deep Survival talks about a certain uniformity in survival cases. He comes up with 12 points that seem to "stand out concerning how survivors think and behave in the clutch of mortal danger."

First off, survivors perceive and believe. In other words, even in a crisis, survivors perceptions and thought processes keep working. They pay attention to details and even find humor or beauty in the situation. But they are aware of and accept reality. Gonzales says they "move through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance very rapidly." (Kubler-Ross stages of grief.)

I think in order to survive as a writer, one definitely needs to be able to perceive the reality that few get rich at this job--in fact, one might never even manage to get published--and yet one still has to believe it is worth trying. Rejections used to rock me a lot more than they do now. Not that I like them, but I have come to an acceptance that they are part of the situation, the job.

Think about the jokes and one-liners that get thrown around at the PW conferences. It's all a way of using humor to deal with the stress of the job (so to speak). Those that survive accept that writing is hard and often has little public/monetary reward, but they also believe it is worth writing.

I have to think about this a bit more. Maybe the perceive/believe fits with revision as well. Right now I perceive that I have to go to bed or I won't be able to do the one-legged jig tomorrow morning at 5:30 a.m. Happy Writing!

Survival

2009-08-30T22:20:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: Robert Pollard--Suitcase. Today's Writing: nothing--just reading. Today's Quote:

We think we believe what we know, but we only truly believe what we feel.
-Laurence Gonzales, Deep Survival

*******

I spent the day reading the book Deep Survival by Laurence Gonzales. I have read accounts of people who have survived against incredible odds--personal narratives of Holocaust survivors, stories of people trapped, broken in the wilderness who still manage to keep going--and I always wonder why it is that some people survive and some don't. What makes the difference? What is it that keeps people going even when there seems to be no hope? And of course, my own history of battling the black dragon has made me doubly curious.

The author of this book has spent his life seeking the answer to that very question: what makes some people survive and others not? What makes a survivor?

I need time to process the book more, but I have been struck by how many things about the way the brain works, how many things that help/hinder people in life/accidents can be applied to writing--and maybe specifically to being stuck in one's writing. Stay tuned for more discussions on survival--and surviving writing.

Word count

2009-08-21T16:00:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: determined. Today's Music: Office of Hearts by Guided by Voices (at the moment) Today's Writing: IFFY (new chapter)

My word count for the day: 892. It felt like more. It even looked like more. But at least I finally got going on this chapter. Might be easier tomorrow.

Better than poetry

2009-08-10T23:05:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Amused. Today's Music: Nothing--no power. Today's Writing. Nothing--I was dealing with downed trees and and spoiling food. Today's Quote:

The rational pride of an author may be offended rather than flattered by vague indiscriminate praise; but he cannot, he should not, be indifferent to the fair testimonies of private and public esteem. - Edward Gibbon

*******

Today, amidst the storm debris, came a self-addressed sealed envelope in the mail. Goes to show you never know what sea treasure a storm leaves--or that the mail really does get delivered come rain, shine, or high winds and lightening. Anyway, I opened it with some degree of angst (don't you just love that word? Angst.) It was the paid critique for the SouthWest Writers Contest. I had submitted in the Young Adult Fiction category, a synopsis and the first 20 pages of Black Dragon. The critique sheet looked professional, specifying hook/opening, protagonist, setting/descriptions, plot line, antagonist, dialogue, voice, secondary characters, manuscript presentation, synopsis, and then suggestions for the author on a separate sheet.

I started reading the sheet and was gratified right away with the critique's first comment--"Excellent opening. This person seems to have built in tone and pace. Something one usually has to work hard for." The review went on in a similar, very gratifying manner, right down to the comment under synopsis (remember me bemoaning how hard I worked on that? And what headaches it gave me?) "The synopsis is clear--makes the reader hurry to read the manuscript." Excellent! Exactly what I wanted it to do!

Then comes the suggestions for the author. It says "See typed page." Okay, I turn to the next page. Here is what it said:

Dear Entry #31;

I am floored (cliche) with this manuscript It not only tells a great story but is so well written that I had to catch my breath at the sheer beauty of the written words.

You not only know how to write but how to keep the reader turning pages. It appears that your style is not something you have struggled with but is a natural God given talent. I do not believe you could write badly even if you wanted to. Your work is even better than poetry.

If you are not already a recognized published author you should be. There has to be many awards out there waiting for your work

Good Luck

I admit it; I laughed. In fact I laughed hard. Especially at the lines I had to catch my breath at the sheer beauty of the written words--and Your work is even better than poetry.

Now, I believe in my writing. I believe in my novel. I think it is a story worth telling, and I think I tell it well. However. Writing is something I struggle to do well. I work hard at it. And I can DEFINITELY write badly--even when I don't want to.

When I brought the critique to my writing group tonight, I had a hard time reading it without breaking into laughter--and they were almost annoyed with me! They couldn't understand why I would react the way I did. So am I just "uncomfortable with someone praising my work"?

Maybe. But I did okay with the page that had the specifics. I could buy that page. Granted, it was ALL good--nothing I needed to work on. Well, except the suggestion to write it in third person past tense (which I DO NOT agree with by the way). The only other suggestions for improvement included not using bold typeface for the title and putting in page numbers.

When praise seems too over-the-top, too extravagant, I have a hard time believing it. I get that the reviewer liked it. I'm GLAD that she/he liked it (and they didn't even know me so they didn't have any reason to pretend to like it). But the cynical part of me just can't buy the "take my breath away" and "better than poetry". After all, I've sent it to over a dozen publishers/agents and not one of them had that reaction.

So while I can take hope from it, I don't think I'll quit my day job just yet.

Building connections

2009-08-06T22:58:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Happy. Today's Music: Linkin Park: Meteora. Today's Writing: This post--but oh happy day, tomorrow I have the whole day to work on IFFY! Today's Quote:

When I can't write, I feel so empty. -John Steinbeck

*******

How do you decide what conference to go to? SCBWI (Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators) has a fall conference. Do I go to the PW conference which definitely emphasizes writing time, or do I attend the SCBWI conference, which does much more in the way of workshops? One is more about writing and small group feedback, and the other is more about making connections and learning the industry ins and outs.

So how do I know which is best for me right now?

The other thing I'm playing with in my head is the idea of looking into getting an MFA from Vermont College. They have a program that focuses on writing for children and young adults. Right up my alley. Is there any benefit to having an MFA? I tend to look at it as making connections and lending my writing weight, priority.

All these things in my head and what I really need to do is write. Tomorrow I have the day free to write. Jane has to go back to school in this next scene. I can't wait to find out what is going to happen!

Happy writing to you all--and if you have any words of wisdom for my dilemmas, let's hear them.

Imagery

2009-07-31T12:17:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Upbeat. Today's Music: Tori Amos at the moment. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

Successful writing means having a great story and telling it beautifully. Word choice lies at the center of beautiful story-telling. Put another way, it's hard to tell a creative story in boring words. - James V. Smith, Jr. The Writer's Little Helper.

*******

Let's talk about imagery. Poets may think they have the corner on the market, but all good writing employs good imagery. I was reading Through the Tollbooth, and today's post was all about similes and metaphors. Kelly Bingham does a great job talking about the differences between the two. Check it out here.

Imagery is all part of showing not telling. It is about word choice, and about creating powerful images rather than describing. Simile and metaphors are part of that--and using them effectively is worth practicing. I love it when I'm reading a book and the author comes up with comparison that surprises and delights me--the kind that makes me go, "yeah! That's it. I can totally picture that."

In the book The Writers Little Helper, there is a creative writer's bracketing tool that helps writers reach for the unexpected, the creative words and imagery. The author talks about revision being the place to search for ways to be more concrete, more specific, more inventive in your word choice. I want to really work at this in my writing. I'm thinking a journal would be a good place to jot down images that strike me. I need to myself to reach, not just grab for the first word that comes to mind. And that is the absolutely great thing about writing. I don't have to be inventive in the first draft; I just have to be able to work at it to the point where I come up with the creative, inventive stuff. Be persistent. I can do that.

Do you find yourself using simile and metaphor in your work? How do you go about creating unique, satisfying images in your writing?

Process

2009-07-27T09:13:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Optimistic. Today's Music: U2. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

A possibly apocryphal story has it that Voltaire did at least some of his writing in bed, using his naked mistress's back as a desk. -Robert Hendrickson

*******

I wanted to talk about how one goes about writing, in part because I haven't been doing much writing. For me, summer has a great lack of structure which doesn't help. It takes discipline to sit down and write. Sometimes, when I'm very lucky or blessed by God or whatever you want to call it, the story pulls so strong that I cannot resist it. It is a siren's song, a drug's addictive call, a wave that sweeps me before it. But that happens rarely. Much more often, writing is a slog through mucky ground hampered by tall, wet grass. At least, that is how my mind often sees it --and who wants to leave the comfort of their bed for that? Thus I sleep in, or read a book, or peruse Facebook, or read blogs. And the summer slips by.

In Stephen King's book, On Writing, he talks about his writing process. "If you're a beginner [ ] let me urge that you take your story through at least two drafts; the one you do with the study door closed and the one you do with it open. With the door shut, downloading what's in my head directly to the page, I write as fast as I can and still remain comfortable."

This process appeals to me in a lot of ways. Other than a general idea, I'm not sure of my story right now. Still meeting the characters and getting to know them, still learning the "rules" of this world where there are extra-sensory powers, still finding out where everyone has been and what they are capable of. Sometimes the comments in group stop me up too much. Make me think too much at this stage about little things that are liable to change through the course of writing. But yet, if I wait to bring it to writing group until I am completely finished with a rough draft, it could well be years.

I suppose ideally I'd be bringing stuff that needed revision to the group, and working on my novel behind closed doors. However, I don't have enough writing time to do both, so I need to find a writing process that works for me. The loves to sleep working mother of two young kids style.

The quote above suggests that I could write in bed. A couple of problems with that: first, I doubt my husband would allow me to use his back as a desk, and second, my brain is lazy. I'd rather sleep and dream than write while I'm in bed. (not to mention... oh never mind. I won't mention it.)

It occurred to me while I was at Glen Lake (with lovely hours and hours in which to write) that I must seek out the pockets of silence in my life and write in those. Maybe it all really is just mind games, but I need to start thinking of half-hours as being plenty in which to write. After all, if I travel through the bog every day--even for a short while--I'll beat down a path through the mucky tall grass.

Next I'll think about where those pockets of silence can be found.

Craftsmanship

2009-07-24T09:29:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: Benign. Today's Music: Nothing yet--though I'm in the mood for some jazz. Today's Writing: nothing yet--though I hope to work on IFFY for awhile. Today's Quote:

Writing has laws of perspective, of light and shade, just as painting does, or music. If you are born knowing them, fine. If not, learn them. Then rearrange the rules to suit yourself. -Truman Capote

*******

This summer I have been taking a watercolor painting class. I've dabbled with paints for a year or two, and sometimes things work. But on some paintings, I'll know something is wrong, isn't working, but I won't know why--and thus cannot fix it. My husband suggested I take a class. "Learn the techniques, and then you'll be more equipped to fix the paintings--or maybe won't even need to anymore."

One of the big things I have learned so far: with watercolors, it's all about layers. Layers and layers of paint. At first, you work fast--don't over think things. A light background wash gives you the general parameter of where things are. Lots of water. Then you start adding more color. More detail. Maybe the work goes slower, but things start to come into focus. (hopefully) The main focal point is the most detailed, usually the most vivid colors. You definitely don't want your background to overwhelm the important foreground (like my absolutely hideous chartreuse green on the last landscape I did.) Oh, and every now and again, take time to stand back and look at it from a distance. It helps you see things you didn't when you were all up close and personal.

The process is not so different than that of writing. On my last camping trip I finished reading Stephen King's book On Writing. His creative process is get it down fast with the doors closed, and then layers of revision (doors open--getting feedback). And at some point, a bit of distance. And there are different techniques, tools to put in your toolbox. How you use those tools is the craft of writing. How so you mix colors, how do you write dialog, how do you add shadows, how do you add depth to your characters.

I was worried that taking a class would make painting bland, mechanical instead of the gut-level play that I was doing. The interesting thing is that even when every person in class is working on the same still-life, each painting looks different. Everyone brings a unique approach to the painting. So yeah, we might all be applying the same tools and techniques--even the same process, and yet there is individuality in the way we use those tools and techniques.

I'm a prepared sort of gal (think control freak), so it fits that I like to have a lot of tools at my disposal. I like to know how to use them effectively as well. But I don't always like someone telling me what to use when and how. That part I like to figure out myself because that is the part that makes it my own. The teacher of the watercolor class told us at the start, "you will make mistakes, even the best artists do. What matters is if you know how to 'fix' them, how to plow through and make it work."

So how have you learned the craft of writing? Or at least what are some of your best lessons in craft since I don't suppose the learning is ever really done. Which tool do you consider one of your most well-used?

Sure is quiet here.......

2009-07-09T18:23:00.001-04:00

So here's another epic example of creative writing, this time an obituary. We suspect she might have written it herself.

http://obits.cleveland.com/obituaries/cleveland/obituary.aspx?n=nancy-lee-hixson&pid=129179739

Mark

Creative Writing

2009-05-23T07:04:00.002-04:00

Here is some of the most creative writing I've seen lately.

Mark

Writing Vitamins

2009-05-12T21:44:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: Augustana. Today's Writing: Revisions on Ch. 1 Free Lunch. Today's Quote:

"In ordinary life, sounds and words are cheap. Paying attention almost makes one a pariah. To steal silence [ ], one develops outlaw strategies (hiding, white-lying, disappearing). Monks and poets (America's archetypal outcasts) recognize the transformative power lurking in simple things (like words). "Let words work the earth of my heart," they pray. Perhaps culture as a whole no longer feels safe with such potentially dangerous toys." - Gail Sher The Intuitive Writer: Listening to Your Own Voice.

*******

I had writing group last night. I was both eager and dreading it at the same time. Writing has been hard for me lately--like shoving shit sitting down (to borrow Stephen King's words). But it was GREAT! What a boost I get from being recognized as a writer. They take me and my words seriously. They listen, they suggest, and they praise. Sometimes the praise is the hardest for me to hear, but the most needed and appreciated. I am learning that I cannot always trust my own feelings about my writing. When it is hard, like chipping away at solid rock, I start believing it is bad--flat, uninspired, uncreative. Writing group helps me know exactly what isn't working so that I can see what is working. Yup, there's most chiseling to be done, but how exciting it is when they see the shape emerging.

So this is a shout out to them, wonderful muses all. Do you belong to a writing group? If not, what gives you a boost? What helps you go back to the computer (or paper and pen for those who still do) day after day, putting down words that occasionally (or often in my case) seem shriveled and dry like month old mushrooms?

Oh, and how do you like that quote? It comes out of a chapter titled "Poets are never mad - Everybody else is."

Toolbox

2009-05-05T21:19:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: a bit blue. Today's Music: hmm, I had it on mix earlier. Nothing now. (Although the damn furnace fan has a rattle that drives me crazy if I think about it.) Today's Writing: Revising 1st chapter of Free Lunch. Today's Quote: I should have one, but I am sitting in bed and really don't feel like getting up, stumbling down the stairs to get the book, and then climbing back up here again. So... just do it. (take that as you will)

*******

Delving further into Stephen King's book, On Writing, I continue to be intrigued. In a section he calls "Toolbox," he talks about the tools writers should carry with them at all times. And mentions the fact that most of them are things we already have. Let's think for a moment about the top level--vocabulary and grammar.

One of my best grammar lessons came from working with Tricia on my Black Dragon manuscript. She would read a section and get it back to me all marked up with purple ink. She crossed out the adverbs (those pesky ly words), and marked any passive tense. Often she suggested changes that when I read them, I thought "oh yeah, of course. Why didn't I see that?"

Now, as I start revising Free Lunch, I find I have incorporated her voice, those grammar lessons, into my head. Today I got rid of several adverbs (and Steve King would be especially proud of me for getting rid of the ly word in the dialog tag.), and made sure every word mattered.

Vocabulary I don't worry about a whole lot. I do try to make sure I am using words that fit my characters, and since I write about and for teenagers, every once and awhile I have to go back and change things. If it sounds like a mom (me) saying it, it's got to go.

One more point of note from my reading today. King talks about the paragraph being the building block even more than the sentence. The way the text looks on the page, the white space, the chunks of thought (my words, not his. His were more eloquent by far). I've seen some interesting things done with this in YA fiction. There is a book I read to my eighth graders called The Children's Story by James Clavell. It is a little book, but powerful. We read it to introduce a unit on Anne Frank and the Holocaust. In the book, there are full pages of text, as well as pages with a sentence, or even just a word or two. It is all about pacing and the impact of the words on the page.

So as I read Stephen King's advice about paragraphs, that is what comes to my mind. It makes me look at what I am writing in a different manner. Chunks of thought, not just words.

Life-support

2009-04-30T14:02:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Relieved. Today's Music: Random mix--Sarah McLachlan at the moment. Today's Writing: this blog, a flyer for the summer retreat, and hopefully a bit of IFFY. Today's Quote: "Life isn't a support-system for art. It's the other way around." -Stephen King, On Writing.

*******

I am reading Stephen King's book, On Writing. I know, you're shocked I haven't read it sooner; it's only one of the most lauded books out there on writing. But you have to understand that while I think King is a gifted writer, I don't like his books. Because he is a good writer, his stuff stays in my head--forever--and I don't like that kind of stuff in my head. It makes me scared of the dark. It makes me afraid of vampire, aliens, and psychotic nurses as well. So I picked this up more as a "should read" than an "I want to read."

I LOVE this book. I hope it stays in my head as well as King's horror stories have because his advice on writing is wise. Funny how I find Steve King the writer so much more approachable than Stephen King the horror story teller. In this book, he comes across so approachable, so "I've been there." And he has; he's been all the same places (and then some) that I've been as a writer. Those best sellers didn't just appear. There was a lot of rejections first. And maybe best of all, he doesn't make it sound like it is any easier for him than it is for me. Granted, I only dream of going where he is now, but he makes it sound possible.

You'll be seeing more posts come out of this book, but in this post I want to ponder his first piece of advice about writing.

"Put your desk in the corner, and every time you sit down there to write, remind yourself why it isn't in the middle of the room. Life isn't a support-system for art. It's the other way around." -Stephen King, On Writing

As I might have mentioned, my desk is tucked between the dryer and the cat litter box. So when I read this wisdom, I laughed, because all of a sudden it made sense. He's right. I do have to fit writing in between loads of laundry and taking care of the cat. I used to rail at that, wishing I had more time to write. Wishing I had a life that was more conducive to writing. Even wishing I had a more exciting, dangerous life just so I had more to write about. (Truth be told, I even thought about having another kid to provide more writing material--I mean, just look at how many people tune into Jon and Kate plus eight! But that very, very wrong, I know.)

My desk isn't in the center of the room, but King reminded me that it shouldn't be. Writing isn't my life; but it does support my life. It got me through depression, it got me through babies that didn't sleep, kids who threw up (occassionally on me), and my mom dying of cancer. I don't know what is going to come in the future, but I do know that writing will help me process it and deal with it. Writing helps me appreciate those moments of gold, the humor in situations that--at the time--seem world-shattering.

How about you? Where is your desk located?

Ultimate Retreating

2009-04-21T20:15:00.003-04:00

So as much as I will miss it, I'm going to take a pass on the Glen Lake Writing Camp Heaven Summer Retreat this year. Instead, I'm going to spend the week in splendid isolation (or incoherent mindless mental meltdown) at a "camp" in da U.P. I will miss the socialization of Glen Lake, and yet I will be free of it and the group meetings that take up much of the days there. The third week of June (more like the fourth week this year) is pretty much my only really productive writing time of the year. I need it all, every minute of it.

I did this a few years ago. The week is mine, and now esp. with a wife, an 86-year-old mother, and a increasingly senile geriatric cat, it's the only week I get for this kind of activity. So the last time I went up on Glen Lake Saturday, settled in at the camp, and within four days I'd pretty much lost all my (admittedly limited) social skills. It took a trip to Houghton and Calumet and a visit with a friend (and some heavy drinking) to get some of them back. If I don't visit with Duane this year, I may be a drooling, unkempt, incoherent schizophrenic by the time I (hopefully) drop in on the regular retreaters at Glen Lake for a Friday night reintroduction to civilization.

While there, writing in the old shack on the edge of Lake Arfelin, I will probably be hunkered down with drinks, snacks and tunes. How does that jibe with anyone else's personal writing styles? Total concentration, or are occasional distractions tolerable? Do you need open-minded friends close at hand as sounding boards ? Total silence, or heavy metal hammering the ear buds? TV on or off? Sugar, caffeine, or alcohol? None of the abo

What's in a Name?

2009-04-10T15:50:00.002-04:00

Today's Reading: not much. Listening to: Sarah Bareilles' Little Voice. Today's writing: you're reading it. Today's Quote: "You're never completely ready, it just becomes your turn." --Ty Murray

I always struggle with names. I need the right name to get inspired. (Mumble) years ago I wrote a vampire story set in a fictional Upper Peninsula town. Grabbing a name essentially out of a hat, I called the town Seymour, at least until something better came along. Over the years, and after writing a second story in the same town, I've considered and discarded a dozen other names, from Purgatory (accurate and appropriate, but obviously an overused cliche) to Kiirastuli (Finnish for Purgatory) to Devil's Elbow. None felt right.

Then I read George Hamilton's fun autobiography "Don't Mind if I Do," and he mentioned someone named Earl Deathe. Deathe! Now there is a name that provides opportunities for confusion, obfuscation, and mispronunciation-- always great assets in a supernatural mystery. So considering the benefits, I googled Deathe on the Internet and came up with.... not a lot. The big geneology sites came up blank, although there were a few listings of people scattered around England and Canada, mostly on Facebook (I don't have an account) or posting job resumes.

Some 13 pages into Google links, I discovered Andrew Deathe, a museum curator in Wales, who offered an email link. I wrote him a tentative note, and he responded promptly and with great enthusiasm, telling me that his name ryhmes with "teeth," and offering delightful stories of his experiences over the years with his name, plus, and this is the best part, the history of the name Deathe. No, it has no association with death, or funeral directors, or grave diggers. It seems that it actually comes from Wallonia, the French-speaking area of Belgium. There is a town there called Ath and the name simply means 'from Ath', in French 'd'Ath'. "Deathe" is the rarest variation of the (still very rare) name D'Eath or De'Ath, forms which are more often pronounced 'Day-aath'.

So I have a new name for Seymour, Michigan, and new inspiration.

Can something as simple as a name or a word send you off on flights of fancy, spur you on to new insights and inspire your writing? For me it can. Now I just have to apply fingers to keyboards and attempt to make magic.

Thinking too much

2009-04-03T16:32:00.002-04:00

You're right. Sometimes we all think too much. That chatterbox in my head keeps me so busy thinking about everything else but writing. When I finally can get quiet enough, usually in the woods, I somehow manage to feel the deeper undercurrent, and can sometimes even pull out some words.
Keep listening - but try to tune out that Chatterbox.
Try rocking!
Good luck.

Shy Characters

2009-03-03T14:56:00.007-05:00

Today's Mood: On hyper-drive. Today's Music: Halifax. Today's Writing: Iffy. Today's Quote:

Learning to write is a slow-growth process. -Ralph Fletcher in Craft Lessons

*******

I have a shy character. Well, he may not really be shy, but he hasn't been terribly forthcoming when it comes to revealing who he is when people are watching (including me sitting there with my fingers poised over the keyboard) I've tried to sneak up and catch him when he doesn't think I'm paying attention--you know the writer tricks: take a shower, take a walk, drive the car somewhere--anywhere as long as you don't have kids in the car with you. But so far I've only caught glimpses; he wears t-shirts with funny/profound sayings on them as his way of flipping off the kids at school; he still struggles to control his/others emotions; he pushes the boundaries when it comes to when he should or shouldn't use his talent; he is a voracious reader; he sings slightly off-key.....

So far I haven't managed to overhear to many conversations though. I still feel like I'm not quite sure how he'd react in certain circumstances, what he'd say, what he'd do. Maybe there are certain techniques that writers use to get to know their characters. Maybe other writers just keep stumbling along like I do--writing, deleting, erasing, scrawling words down in a journal, snatches of conversation that I seem to hear in my brain. I keep reminding myself that no writing is a waste of time. Even if I don't use it in the novel, it still is needed to get me there. A diving board, starting blocks, a warm-up lap--it all makes a difference in the final run.

Does anyone else have any tricks they use to get them into a character--or to figure out the "voice" of a piece? How about the feeling like you don't want to waste precious writing time writing stuff that you might not use in the final draft? I have too dang much work ethic! It's a constant battle of reminding myself it is okay to play, to explore, to create just for the fun of it. And maybe, in the end, I really do know more about my character than I think. I just think too much.

Priming the pump

2009-02-11T16:57:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: a little wild. Today's Music: Alison Moyet (in the car anyway.) Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath." -F. Scott Fitzgerald

*******

Sorry for the lag in posting. I've been massively busy with helping direct a play, and organize birthday parties for my daughter. Unfortunately it seems that one kid somehow generates the need for multiple parties. I'm sad about this because my mothering skills have never much tended toward the party organizing. Nonetheless, I managed to pull off a 1st grade bowling party in the same weekend as a party with my side of the family (which is, at the moment, populated with many small children).

On the writing front, I managed to finish my big revision of Black Dragon and sent it out to agents--which left me at loose ends. What to do next? After a lot of thinking (and probably driving my friends and family crazy by constantly gnawing on the problem out loud) I decided to get back into IFFY and see if I could pound out a rough draft. Then I can give it breathing room while I revise Free Lunch.

So for the last two (very busy) weeks I've been trying to immerse back into the story. It's been a bit like getting into cold water though. I dip in a toe by reading what I've written. Then I step in up to my ankles and study the character profiles and pictures I've drawn of those people. I wade deeper and look over my notes. I'm up to my thighs, revising a little and listening to my IFFY playlist. But only in the last few days have the characters started to play in my head again. Yesterday I found myself thinking about the MC (main character) while I was drying my hair. And when I was getting ready for work today, a whole scene played out in my head. Yay! The story hasn't completely dried up!

Prime for long enough and the pump will produce water. Now I just need to find ways to keep working the pump, and keep those writing waters flowing. What do you all do to keep spinning your story? Especially when you can't spend all day on it (or even much of the day at all on it)?

Play Time

2009-01-21T13:12:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: Relieved. Today's Music: Alison Moyet. Today's Writing: Queries. Today's Quote:

"Many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a [SASE] big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor." -Ring Lardner, How to Write Short Stories.

*******

I am basking in the glow of having just sent off seven query letters. Yea me! Since June I have been worked on revising BD (several times in fact). And then I worked on creating an intriguing query letter. THEN I researched, and researched, and researched who to send it to. AND NOW I GET TO PLAY!

So what should I play with? Free Lunch? IFFY? poetry? an essay? The writing possibilities stretch out limitless in front of me like the Kansas highway. Only problem is I want to do it all. And paint. And draw. And and and....

What have you all been up to? Any exciting writing going on? Any advice on how to pick the next project?

Reblocking

2009-01-11T14:11:00.004-05:00

Today's Mood: Dizzy. Today's Music: singing in church. Today's Writing: this blog. Today's Quote:

Do you suffer from blogaholism, Twitteritis, RSS Dependency, or Status Update Disorder? Then this is the seminar for you... -by Polly Frost
*******

Okay, I just had to share this since I am definitely one who spends time in the blogosphere when I should be working on that query of mine. Check out the Polly Frost's article Reblock Yourself the Polly Frost Way. The truth hurts--and is also hilarious. My only complaint is her characterization of librarians. Hey, we can fracture and fragment the English language with the best of 'em!

So get to work and reblock yourself. Hopefully you can agonize over your real writing then.

Hunting Season (for an agent, that is.)

2009-01-08T20:01:00.004-05:00

Today's Mood: Upbeat. Today's Music: Neil Diamond (I know--but hey, I was a teenager in the eighties after all!) Today's Writing: Query letter for BD. Today's Quote:

The amount of time you spend formatting, coloring, bolding, italicizing, and adding pictures to your query is inversely proportional to how professional it looks when you're finished. -Nathan Bransford

*******

Agent hunting season has officially begun! I'm dreaming of bagging one early, but just in case, I'm working to locate several different hunting grounds. And, of course, I'm making sure I have all the right permits and weapons. I bought the 2009 Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market, I have perused many writer, editor, and agent blogs looking for tips on query letters and searching for suitable game. Nathan Bransford has several informative posts about query letters (including a mad-lib style query letter format), and Cynsations has several interviews with agents that give greenhorns like me insight into the business.

I have to admit, I'd probably rather write a whole novel than a query letter. It seems like there is so much hanging on one page. I always like the agents that want to see several pages of the novel as well. Gives me hope. And the other thing I dislike about query letters is that even writing them forces me to think about what if. What if he/she doesn't want it? What if no one wants it? And maybe even a little bit of what if he/she DOES want it? That has a fear element in it as well. (granted, a more exciting, pleasant fear element, but still scary in its own way.)

Of course, I want to send my manuscript off to the person most likely to love it as much as I do, but who is that mysterious person? I find a dozen potentials in the Market, and then I search them on the web. Should I go with the one who is well-known? The one who represents several big time young adult authors? Or should I try one who is more actively seeking clients? I want the best. My novel deserves the best. But, in the end, a small trophy is better than none at all, right?

The query letter itself is stressful. Sure I know what my novel is about, but what tone do I take when talking about it? Light and humorous? Serious and professional? Like I'm talking to someone I know--except I don't know that person and THAT is the problem. I'm not a good social chit-chatter. It is hard for me to do anything other than serious with people I don't know. If I'm teasing you--then you can be sure I like you and feel comfortable with you.

So it goes back to research. I have to find out as much as I can about these agents in order to feel like I know them (even a little bit) so that I can write in my own voice--and not some stilted, fill-in-the-blank letter.

I guess I need to develop a stalker mentality. Notice all the little details, look up their myspace and facebook accounts and check out their friends. Read the books they like. Listen to the same music. Ewwww, I'm creeping myself out! Besides, I really don't have enough time to be a stalker. Guess I'll go for serious and professional.

Roll-Over Dreams

2008-12-29T23:19:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: Content. Today's Music: Lifehouse. Today's Writing: Finished 3rd (or 53rd probably, but 3rd round now) revision of Part II BD. Yeah! Today's Quote:

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. -Jack London.

*******

Sigh. What a lovely day! Sunlight, shopping for creative stuff, Steak-n-Shake lunch including a Mocha Malt (with whip cream and a cherry!), and writing--lots of writing. In fact, I finished this rewrite of Part II. I am so psyched! One more revision of Part III, then a run-through edit of the whole thing and it is ready to go out into the big, bad world again. One word at a time, I'm getting there.

Of course, I can never come out of a bookstore without buying a book. In this case, it was a really cool one called Idea Log. It is divided into five sections: idea log(alphabetized), project log (for when I act on my ideas), sketch log (I'm excited to use this for art ideas), quotation log, and fantasy log. The fantasy log is funny--it even has a feasibility rating scale!

Between the writing and buying craft stuff for making cards (PW cards, I hope!), I'm brimming with creativity today. And I had a phone conversation with another PW writer about setting up a morning writing schedule. I have to admit, it is one thing I miss during the holiday breaks. But still, I managed to get some writing done. Not as much as when I stick to my schedule. I am a firm believer in having a set-don't-mess-with-me writing time. There is no way I'd get as much written if I didn't. Although, I have to say, I hate mornings. A necessary evil in the working world.

The other day my friend pointed out that our goals for 2008--for me, the goal was to get something accepted for publication--didn't work out so well. I told her it was okay; they were roll-over hopes and dreams, so they'll work fine for 2009. What about you? New goals? Roll-overs?

Glorious Vacation

2008-12-22T22:09:00.002-05:00

Today's Mood: Happy. Today's Music: A Windham Christmas (new CD from Gloria) Today's Writing: Finished this revision of Part III Black Dragon (Glory Be!) Today's Quote:

*******

I think too much. (Huge surprise to you all, isn't it?) It took me waaaaay too long to finish revising the last few chapters. Over the weekend I'd boot up the computer, open the BD file, stare at it, maybe switch (add or delete) a few words, then shut down. I'm having a hard time settling--being quiet enough to hear what I need to write/change. Some of it is the time of year because there are all these parties to plan for, shopping to do, and shoveling. Lots and lots of shoveling. And I suppose, truth be told, part of it is that I can't quite decide how to end it. In a way, it seems too fast--like maybe I should put more detail, more chapters. Yet why drag it out?

Today I went over to Gloria's to write. After a lot of eating, we finally did settle down to write. At one point I must have made a frustrated noise (probably get that from my dad--it sounds a bit like someone did the Heimlich maneuver on me), because Gloria asked what was up. I told her I didn't know if I liked the ending. And after talking about it a bit (and reading some of it out loud) she suggested ending the novel in a different spot. I had never thought about ending it there. I have to say, I think it might work. Always nice to get a new perspective. That's part of what I like about getting together and writing with other writers. Not that we actually work on the same piece of writing, but just having them there to talk to, ask questions, or look so diligent that it makes me feel guilty enough to be diligent too.

My self-imposed deadline of the end of December is looming impossibly close. I don't think I'll make it, but I intent to get through the next (umpteenth) revision on Part II at least. Who knows, maybe I can finish it all by the end of January.

What about you all? Any deadlines--self-imposed or otherwise imposed? Do you (like me) feel the need to set deadlines--or at least set some sort of goal?

Back from my Facebook fling

2008-12-16T16:57:00.003-05:00

Today's Mood: Busy but good. Today's Music: Maroon 5. Today's Writing: Black Dragon second to last chapter. Agonizing. Today's Quote:

"Don't wait. If you want to be a writer, you have to write. All the time. Day in, day out. It's as simple as that." -Dorianne Laux, "Writing from a lived life," Writer's Digest, Feb. 09

*******

I know, I know, it's been forever. I have been writing--although, not as much as I'd like. Life is getting in the way. But it does go on, and lo and behold, word by word does get it done (albeit slowly). These last few chapters are killing me. First I worried that events seemed too coincidental, now I'm worried that I am rushing the denouement/conclusion. Face it, between the economy, the season, and my writing, I embody worried!

And, as if I didn't have enough to do in my life, someone sends me an email message saying that they put a picture of me on Facebook. What picture, is my first question. (Not that there are any sleaze shots of me out there floating around, but there could be some seriously ugly pictures of me out there.) My second question is What the heck is she putting pictures of me out on the web for anyway?! So of course I have to go check it out. And you can't see it unless you create a profile on Facebook. Yeah, I need another thing to update and check--cause I do so well keeping up on this blog.

But worry drives me to do horrific things, so I created a profile. And I was right to worry, the picture is scary. Writing for hours on end does great things for my soul but isn't so hot for my outer appearance. Oh well, I've seen worse pictures of me. I log off to go do laundry and slave-drive kids into doing their homework and cook dinner and.... the list goes on.

The next day when I check my email, there are 4 messages saying people have asked to be my friend. I felt a momentary thrill, as if I'd been transported back to high school and was suddenly popular. But then I realized all these people are already my friends! Nevertheless, I confirmed the friendships (which is just a matter of clicking confirm and nothing like exchanging gifts or spending time or making out or anything like that) and went on to check my profile.

The following day I logged into facebook to check what everyone was doing, and then I tried to think of something clever to put up on my wall. As usual, whenever I try to come up with something clever, my brain turns a drab gray and starts to shrivel. In the end, I decided I'm not the right sort of person to have a Facebook profile. I don't do witty, I can't handle looking good enough to live in a fishbowl, and I just don't have time.

Now that my fling with Facebook is done, I have grand hopes of posting more frequently--and finishing this round of revision by the end of the week!

Partially Addicted

2008-11-29T10:31:00.003-05:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed (as much as I can be with a head cold) Today's Music: Marisa is singing upstairs, but that's it. Today's Writing: this and emails (although I did stay up writing til midnight last night) Today's Quote:

In Steven King's book "On Writing" (one of the selections of the shortlived YesAnd book club of years back), he says you should never use an adverb. If you stumble across one, rewrite the sentence. -Greg Wymer

*******

What is your opinion of adverbs? A necessary evil? Descriptive writing? Death to all ly words? As you may--or may not--know, I've been deep in revision of Black Dragon. Working one on one with another writer has been very educational. I slave over a section until I can't tighten it any more, and then I get it back from my wonderful writing mentor and--lo and behold!--her comments make it sooooo much tighter and better. The last section she gave back with the words, "This section was tight." I looked it over the next morning and found that she lied. It had blue ink all over it, and, as usual, her suggestions made it much better.

Since the first step to conquering an addiction is admitting that one has a problem, I'm here to tell you, I have a problem. I am addicted to ly words. My characters smile slightly, shrug half-heartedly, and wish desperately. Sometime I just can't figure out how to say the same thing without using an adverb. I mean, sometimes I can change the verb and have it mean the same thing--but not always. There are times where I just can't find a verb that means quite the same thing.

However, I've been going through the three step revision program, and now I'm proud to say it's been three days since I've used an ly modifier. My characters give lopsided smiles, shrug one-shoulder, and pray.

Hopefully I don't fall off the band-wagon. : )

One way or another

2008-11-18T18:58:00.003-05:00

Today's Mood: Scattered. Today's Music: Matchbox 20--Mad Season. Today's Writing: Revising chapter 50, 51 of BD. Today's Quote:

*******

I blame it on the snow. Here I am, hoping for a snow day, and what do I get? Extra early writing time! We lost power last night, but no problem, my travel alarm clock was right in the bedside drawer. I set the alarm and went back to sleep. Until my daughter called for me. The house was too quiet. Not much I could do about that--other than sing. She decided quiet was preferable. My alarm rang at 5:40 and five minutes later, the power came back on. Later, I was mixing up my cappuccino while I waited for my car to de-ice itself. I happened to glance at the battery-operated clock in the kitchen. 5:30. Hmm. That wasn't right. I went and checked my cell phone. 5:30 a.m. Holy cows! I got up at 4:45! Well, that's one way to get some extra writing time.

It was good. Really good. I had the extra time needed to dig in and get some good writing done. But there is no way in hell I'm getting up that early tomorrow! In fact, I'm hoping for a snow day.

Commitment

2008-11-08T19:27:00.006-05:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed- Well, as much as I ever am. Today's Music: Love is Blindness by U2 (at the moment) Today's Writing: Revising Chapter 44 of BD. Today's Quote:

Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still. Robert Sternberg
*******

Yesterday was my husband's birthday, as well as the second Monday of the month--which is when my writing group meets. I attended the meeting. Now, before you all think I'm a horribly callous wife, let it be known that my husband didn't mind since he prefers not to make a big deal of getting another year older. (I keep reminding him that the alternative is grim.) I bring this up simply to illustrate the fact that I believe writing groups are a commitment.

It was an interesting meeting. All of us showed up, and we even had a new (prospective) member at the meeting. She wanted to get a feel for us, and we wanted to do likewise. She seemed to fit in right away with her fun sense of humor, and good listening and conversation skills. She expressed the desire to make writing more a part of her life than it has been so far. Then one of the other members talked about how she hasn't written much lately and how she hoped to come away from group inspired. All good. To me, writing groups should meet both of those needs--helping me to focus on my writing, and inspiring me with good writing and good feedback.

Therefore it was interesting to me that neither of those women wanted to read the piece they had brought to share. "This is just something old. It's really too personal," the one explained. "The piece I brought was written to read aloud to a large group. It doesn't work well as a written piece," said the other.

Now, I have to admit that I am not the most tactful person in the world (shock!). So in my usual style I challenged them. "Come on! You just told us you wanted to make writing a focus in your life, and you wanted to be inspired, and now I hear slackers and whiners." Okay yeah, not tactful in the slightest. Hopefully I didn't scare this wonderful new woman away from the group.

The good news is that I bullied them into reading their writing. Well, it was good for me. It was inspiring for me. Whether it was good for them--I'm not sure, and I'm sorry that I was so harsh. But the writing shared was well-written, luminous, full of images and language and ideas that made me think.

And the evening has stayed with me. On the way home last night, during the night, on the drive to work this morning. Was I right to call them out? If you are a part of a writing group, do you owe that group something? What? If you are new, and checking out a group, do you owe them the chance to hear your writing as well as the chance to check out theirs? What are you committing to when you join a group? Just showing up? Showing up with something to share?

Life happens. I know that. There are times when it is impossible to come--illness, family, deadlines, work. I have missed a few times due to kids conferences, concerts, illnesses. Once in a while it might be impossible to bring a piece of writing. ... Okay, so I can't think of examples for this one, but I'm sure there are some. The point is, stuff happens. (and lots of times that stuff is shit--but that's another post) But if you have showed up, and even brought something you must have at least considered sharing, then isn't it just your gremlins causing you to not share? Your fear that it won't be "good" enough?

Maybe the answers to my questions depend on what type of writer you are: recreational, professional, obsessive, or maybe even just grimly determined like me. Do you belong to a writing group? If so, what part does it play in your life? Are there any expectations within your group? Or is all this just me being obsessive?

Breaking Points

2008-10-30T12:49:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Industrious. Today's Music: U2--Zoo Station at the moment. Today's Writing: Finished up rewrite of Part I Black Dragon. Today's Quote:

"So many of us use writing as a way to keep ourselves down, limited, stuck."
-Heather Sellers in Page after Page.

*******

Breaking points could refer to many things when it comes to writing, but I'm struggling with how to divide my writing into chapters. Poets must deal with the same issue except on the micro-scale of line breaks. So how does a writer decide on the organization of a piece? Are structure and organization the same thing?

I know that I want Black Dragon to be a novel--although I have tossed around the idea of a graphic novel which would entail different organization of the material. So maybe that answers my question. Maybe structure and organization are linked, but not synonymous.

Black Dragon divides the content into chapters based on scenes. Each new scene is a new chapter. The chapters, however, are arranged/titled according to date. I suppose it is diary-like in a way. Some days have so many different scenes that it takes a number of chapters to cover that day. This could be confusing to a read. But if I lump all the events under one chapter (ie. Chapter Twelve--January 26--Friday), then it is an 18 page chapter, whereas some other chapters are only 3 pages. Does this matter?

If the organization of the material is all about clarity, then I should stick with one chapter per day, even if it makes the chapters uneven in length. However, as a librarian/teacher, I realise that chapter length is important to readability as well. Kids tend to like shorter chapters because they seem to be easier to read.

Of course, at some point it might not even be worth me worrying about this issue. Maybe an editor makes that decision and the author has nothing to do with it. It's not like poetry where the line break can change the meaning. The story remains the same--it is the impact that changes. Which is still a big deal, but shouldn't be a deal breaker.

Anyway, that's what I'm stressing over at the moment--well, along with a myriad of other things. One of those being the teachers memoir workshop tomorrow. I'm to talk about the importance of mentor texts. I've had fun looking through various writing books--especially Page after Page and Chapter after Chapter by Heather Sellers. Good stuff.

Attack of the gremlins

2008-10-21T12:42:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Frustrated. Today's Music: Lucia Micarelli--Music from a Farther Room. Today's Writing: Revising the revision of Black Dragon Part I. Today's Quote:

Don't give up. Never give up. -don't know if anyone else said it, but I'm saying it now.

*******

I was in a funk over the weekend--you know, the usual, I suck at everything kind of mental punk that hangs like dank, dark smoke around my spirit. Why was I in a such a state? Who knows. Maybe the weather. Maybe the MEAP testing. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep. Maybe it's George W. Bush's fault. Or maybe, just maybe, it has to do with my art not being picked at the show, and my copy of Black Dragon coming back with lots of ink on it.

Don't get me wrong, the ink was dead on, made the story clearer, more succinct. In fact, I look at what my lovely writing mentor did with it, and I think, why didn't I see that? Who am I kidding, thinking I'm a good writer? These people are my friends, none of them would tell me that I'm just not good enough to be published. But I'm not. Look, she should be writing this. I should just tell her my idea and have her write it--it would be better than I could ever write it.

And so it goes, on and on with the whining, the self-doubt, the gray punk that bogs me down, giving me a headache, making me tired, and causing me to be crabby with the kids. My husband tried--he assured me I had talent, he listened, he even scolded me for over-reacting, but it didn't help. I went to bed.

The next day it occurred to me that there is NO WAY this wonderful, busy woman would spend so much time, painstakingly reading my manuscript (yet again) if she didn't believe it had some worth. After all, I wasn't even paying her! And hey, look at how much I was learning! Maybe I'd avoid some of those pitfalls (starting too many sentences with the word "but." I really like but(t)s!), and the last section would be better.

In the meantime, I'll get back to work on the first section, making those changes, making the story clearer, better, truer.

What do you do when you get in a funk? Or how do you keep the gremlins away from you? What's the worst attack of the "I'm no good at this" that you've ever had? Or are you like, not human, and have no idea what I'm talking about?

Plugging Away

2008-10-14T13:28:00.005-04:00

Today's Mood: Tired. Today's Music: Sarah McLachlan at the moment. Today's Writing: revising Black Dragon. Today's Quote:

"I always write a good first line, but I have trouble in writing the others."
-Moliere, in Les Precieuses Ridicules

*******

Plugging away, every day getting closer to the end. Some days I can almost taste it, and it drives me to get up, reject hitting the snooze, resist the pull of sleep, all to got sit in front of a monitor and rearrange words, add, delete words. Other days, like today when I'm tired, I have to drag myself out of bed. And yet, when I sit in front of my laptop, a certain kind of magic happens, and the story takes over, the words are there to be tinkered with, crafted, chiseled away, sculpted, woven together to create a web, a yarn, a magic of their own. And on it goes, day after day.

I counted up, only six more days until I finished Part II. Then it is on to Part III. I am growing confident of meeting my self-imposed goal of sending the book out again during Christmas break. I think I'll research agents this time.

How's everyone else doing? Weaving words into stunning yarns the excite, entertain, educate, and provide a depth and richness to life? Or at least chiseling out a few words that might someday be sculpted into a masterpiece?

Hope to see you Friday at the art show. Or hear from you here on the blog. Writing is a lonely affair, despite all the people involved.

Sponging

2008-10-07T21:33:00.005-04:00

Today's Mood: Content. Today's Music: Robert Pollard Is Off To Business--Boston Spaceships. Today's Writing: Revision, Black Dragon Part II. Today's Quote:

"It's been an adventurous day. The ship floats but it won't float away." -Robert Pollard (I always thought it was "shit" not ship, but when I googled it, lots of people had it as ship. I'll have to look at the liner notes. Gotta say, I like "shit" better!)

*******

This past weekend my husband and I went to Ann Arbor to see the Boston Spaceships perform at the Blind Pig and to attend the Michigan Game. Despite Michigan's poor showing, I had an absolutely wonderful time. And I didn't even feel guilty about not writing for 3 days because I was sponging. Soaking in atmosphere, dialog, character, setting. The concert was great, the band tight and loud. I could not sit (or stand) still, my feet just kept wanting to dance. Of course, I second-handedly smoked at least 50 cigarettes, drank enough hard cider to feel very flushed (although, that's really hard to say since it had to be at least 90 degrees in there as well), and whooped and hollered enough that my husband is sure he can hear me on this YouTube Video from the concert.

Throughout the concert, dinner, walking around town, and at the game, I found myself watching people, observing their faces and gestures, listening to what they were saying and their tone of voice. I felt like I was absorbing it, so that at some later date, who knows when, I'll be able to wring it out on the page, and readers will be able to see, taste, smell, and hear it. From the tangy ginger sauce on the Mongolian Stir Fry, to the acrid stench of the cigarette smoke in my hair.

Then there was the driving around a fairly empty Ann Arbor at 2 a.m., lost, but so wound up from music and the excitement of not having to be a responsible parent, that it didn't matter that we were lost. The color of the city takes on different shades and tones at that time of the morning, the sounds are different, even the smells.

Being a fairly goal-oriented person, I have to remind myself that living is a part of writing as well. Yes, I have to put my butt in the chair and write, but yes, I have to get my butt out of the chair now and then and experience things in order to write with a passion.

Where are some of the best places you have absorbed? This summer I did some major sponging when I went to Michigan Adventure with my kids (always a wide variety of people there, plus going anywhere with my kids is a chance to soak up new experiences).

So.... go sponge. Write, live---live, write. Go. And then come back and tell us about it.

Great Expectations

2008-09-30T06:58:00.006-04:00

Today's Mood: Tired. Today's Music: U2 at the moment. Today's Writing: Black Dragon Part II. Today's Quote:

*******

I'm lucky. On the way home from the Glen Lake Fall Conference, I get to debrief and decompress with Gloria since we ride together. We talked over the exercise we did on Saturday night--everyone had a sheet of paper on his/her back and had to go around and write on everyone else's piece of paper. Write a word (or a few words) about that person and/or that person's writing. For someone like me, who analyzes every word, expression, tone of voice, this was an intense exercise. And one that I will probably continue to over-analyze. What did someone mean when he or she wrote voluminous? I write a lot? I'm bigger than I look? We talked about words having different meanings, connotations and denotations.

This led (and I'm sure it was in a fairly round-about way because that is how conversations usually go) to a discussion about what makes a conference (or most things, for that matter) a success or a failure. We came to an agreement that often it was our expectations that made the difference. If one comes expecting to write volumes (is that what voluminous means?) and doesn't, then often the conference is felt to be a failure--even if there were absolutely wonderful discussions and insights into the writing and writing process. If our expectations are met--we had great shopping trips or we finished the story we were working on (your expectations depend on who you are)--then we go back home to the real world feeling fulfilled and successful.

So how often do we miss gold just because we are looking for rubies? And does that mean we should come with no expectations at all? Surely there has to be some sort of balance, an openness to all the wonder of the moment, and yet a focus, a direction to start out at least.

Work area

2008-09-20T22:17:00.008-04:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: Matchbox Twenty. Today's Writing: Black Dragon. Today's Quote:

Writers drive and plot. And you thought cell phones were dangerous. - bumpersticker
*******

We've talked about what we read--or at least, what we pile next to our bed (or in our relaxing area)--so let's talk about where we do our writing. What does it look like? What things are on the desk or table or floor next to your recliner? What things are on the walls? What can you hear? What do you smell? What do you have to have in order to enjoy a good writing session? And most of all, what do you think it says about what kind of a writer you are?

During the week I write in my office at school. My desk is small and solid wood. I need to have my cappuccino because it is 6:45 a.m. Music is also a must--I usually do shuffle on the music library on my computer. I have a Thesaurus next to the desk, a nail file in my desk drawer, Internet access in case I need to look something up, and notes about characters, eye colors, names, family and so on. While doing this Black Dragon revision, I leave the draft with Tricia's editing notes sitting on the desk to refer to as I go along. The room smells like orange blossoms due to the reed diffuser sitting on my filing cabinets. And I am surrounded by dragons and fairies, many, many books, a spilled cup of coffee, chocolate, and the Sorting Hat, Fawkes, and Time Traveler--all replicas from the Harry Potter books.

I love my Brazilian Cherry desk at home, although I don't use it to write except for during the summer or during school breaks. It smells like kitty litter with the faint hint of Bounce, since my desk is between the cat's litter pans and the washer and dryer. If I'm writing for an extended period--say, I send the kids to daycare for the day--then I light my cinnamon candle. Tea or cappuccino is important for comfort (and diversion when I get stuck) as well as warmth since the basement gets cold. To my left I have my CDs, many writing books, and folders with all my writing stuff. My desk itself has all these great little cubbies that I can (and do) fill with all sorts of things.

My work area and habits probably show that I'm only a part-time writer. And that I'm definitely a multi-tasker. I'd like to think that my work space shows my artistic, eclectic, spontaneous personality, but maybe it just shows that I'm messy and immature. : )

What's on your bedside table?

2008-09-12T11:38:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Content. Today's Music: Guided By Voices--Surgical Focus. Today's Writing: Black Dragon Chapter 4. Today's Quote:

"One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying." -Joan of Arc

*******

So what's on your bedside table? I have a suspicion that writers tend to have a lot of books piled here and there, but maybe it is just that I am a librarian. So I am sending a picture of the items on the stand next to my bed (minus the glass of Hard Cherry Cider that is sitting next to me at the moment), and you can see if you beat me.

I have a Thesaurus, the book Cutting by Steven Levenkron (research for Black Dragon), the Intuitive Writer by Gail Sher, a Cherry Republic catalog, The Other Boleyn girl by Pilippa Gregory (I was supposed to read it for book club several months ago and still haven't finished it), Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, The Couple's Tao Te Ching by William Martin (given to me by my dad), Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (an attempt to understand my husband--still only 3 chapters in and can't say that I understand him any better : )) the September issue of the Writer, my sketchbook, A View from the Porch Swing by Becky Freeman (given to me by my father. It is "musings on a complicated search for the simple life."), The Courage to Teach by Parker Palmer (given to me by my dad--still not read), The Shack (this month's book club book--I'm 3/4 of the way through it), and my journal for IFFY (in case I get a great idea during the night). The table also includes for AA batteries (the TV remote is still not working), various hairclips and chapstick, my alarm clock--unfortunately necessary), a pen, a copy of Inklings, and a couple of short stories I was revising to send in (which I have sent in so I guess I really should dump those.).

So, do you have me beat? Mind you, that is only what is on TOP of the bedside table. There is a drawer and a bottom shelf, but I don't have time to catalog all that.

Oh blessed routine!

2008-09-04T15:08:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Tired. Today's Music: Matchbox Twenty--All your reasons. Today's Writing: Black Dragon--chapter 2. Today's Quote:

"Like dreaming, reading performs the prodigious task of carrying us off to other
worlds." -Victor Null

*******

The only way I got out of bed this morning was by grabbing the scruff of my neck with both hands and dragging myself out from under the covers. I can't believe how dark it is at 5:30 a.m.! But writing every day makes the dark hours and loss of sleep worth it.

My office smells of orange blossoms and paper. I drink my cappuccino, turn on my music, get out my computer and then I'm gone. Gone into the dank basement room of Sera the dragon fighter. Gone into a world of darkness, soul-searing pain, and blood. Dreams and visions of blood.

It's always a bit of a shock when the lights go on in the main library, and it is time for me to go back to my world of books, technology, kids, and teachers. But I'm happy. The revision is going slow but I think good--although the backlash of thoughts/cravings/emotions is quite unsettling. Thought I put all that behind me many, many years ago. Never knew how long habits could hang around!

Oh how I love writing! Anyone else going to the Fall Glen Lake Retreat? How about entering the PW art show? I (foolishly) said I would and now I'm stressing because I don't have anything good enough to put in an art show. Silly, silly me.

Anyone reading anything interesting? I'm over halfway through The Shack. Now that's a book that makes you think! And I consumed Breaking Dawn in one gulp (which included very little sleep!). Happy writing!

Listening to the muse

2008-08-29T22:29:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Busy. Today's Music: Um, basically nothing. The sound of vacuum cleaning until I sucked up a doll sweater and smoke started coming out along with a burning rubber smell. I turned it off. Today's Writing: nothing until this blog. Today's Quote: I got nothing.

*******

It's changing time again (not like any part of life isn't full of change) Gone are the late nights (or they should be anyway) since my alarm is going off in that early gray light before morning. Gone are the Mike's Hard Lemonade because I'm so tired that if I have alcohol I'll fall asleep. Gone are the "what are we going to do today" discussions/possibilities. BUT the scheduled writing time is back, the kids are separated, spending time with friends their own age, and therefore when they are together, they fight less. (Supposedly. Hopefully.)

Anyway, I blame the changing lifestyle on why I haven't written much this week. I'm thinking about Black Dragon most of the time. Back ground thinking, you know. The kind that scrolls through the back of your brain like those announcements that scroll along on the bottom of the TV screen. Every now and then it flashes and I focus on it for a little while, maybe even write something down. But most of the week I've been busy focusing on why in the hell are they tearing about the building to figure out the cable system NOW when the building has been EMPTY all summer!? Or how am I supposed to meet everyone's needs when I am only getting 6 new projectors and I need 9?

I titled this post Listening to the muse because I do need to focus on what is scrolling through my mind--and I need a place and time for that listening. Which I'll get next week at the daunting hour of 6:30 a.m. every school day. But I also wanted to think about what happens when I get a lot of opinions--usually different opinions--about what I am writing. I've had a number of people read Black Dragon and each of them have opinions on what I should change. Now, believe me when I tell you they all mean well. They all approach it with a "I wonder what would happen if....." They are all aware that I am the author and so I decide if I want to change it or not.

The problem is me. I am looking for the "RIGHT" way to tell the story. And because I'm not always sure what that is (read "I'm almost never sure what that is") I often go along with making the changes. Especially if the reader is confident of what should be changed.

Don't get me wrong, this has often made the story stronger. It's just that, after awhile and a lot of different opinions, I need to stop and take time to listen to what the story is telling ME. I get to where I almost don't want to share it for awhile. Does anyone else feel that way? Is it just me not wanting to work hard and change things?

I don't know, I guess I just wonder if there is certain times when you should seek the opinions of others, and certain times that you shouldn't. Not that there are hard and fast rules or anything--or even if there were rules, all rules are made to be broken. Sometimes I feel like I have to work on two different things at once--one that I don't mind sharing and getting feedback, and the other that I want to keep to myself for now.

Anyway, hope you all have a great holiday weekend. Enjoy the hot weather (now that school is starting. Figures.)

First sentence funk

2008-08-21T13:13:00.005-04:00

Today's Mood: Good. Today's Music: Sarah McLachlan--Afterglow Live. Today's Writing: working on revising Black Dragon. Today's Quote:

Which brings us back to perhaps the two most BASIC PRINCIPLES OF WRITING:

1. Execution Is Everything.
If you can figure out how to do anything well, you can do anything.

2. Never Say Never.
If you can figure out how to do anything well, you can do anything.
-Editorial Anonymous

*******

How much does that first sentence matter? It should capture the reader's attention, pull him/her in and make him/her want to read more, and set the tone/mood of the story. No small feat. In fact, it's putting me in a funk. I have started BD fifty different ways, and I can't say that any of them start with "a sentence you remember forever." But then again, I can't say I remember any first sentences other than "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times." And "In the beginning..." So hey, maybe as long as I get a STRONG first sentence, I can quit worry about the best ever category.

Obviously in the rough draft stage all I need is a sentence that pulls me in, but it's different when revising. Now I have to try to think like a reader. Of course, every reader is different which is why some people in my small group like one thing and others liked something different. My head is starting to spin and I haven't even had a drink! Yet. I bet I might like my writing better if I did drink.

How much do you think the first sentence matters? Do you have any favorite first sentences?

Marketability

2008-08-15T08:53:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Focused. Today's Music: None yet--but I'll put the music library on shuffle while I write. Today's Writing: Going to work on revising Black Dragon as soon as the kids are off to daycare. Plus I have a few essays I want to send out. Today's Quote:

"My world--my rules." -Robyn Ford reminded me of this. Don't know if she got if from somewhere or made it up, but it is a great reminder for a fiction writer.

*******

The camping trip was not one that will go down in the record books--either as good or bad. We spent several hours on Sunday in a doctors office in Traverse City due to swimmer's ear, but other than that, it was a fairly uneventful trip. Oh, except I lost the keys to the camper the day before we left so we almost didn't go. However, I eventually found them in the cupboard with the potatoes. All I can figure is that I scooped them up with the bag of potatoes and dumped them both in the camper cupboard. Sigh. That's what happens when I get crazy trying to do fifty things at once. And really, I have to blame that on the book Breaking Dawn. It kept me up until 4 a.m. and then I still had to finish it on Tuesday when I was supposed to be packing.

Since I've been back, the dilemma has been what do I work on? Should I try to gather up the story threads to IFFY and continue pounding out that rough draft? Or, since that story has migrated so far away from me, should I let it go for now (I do have enough written that I won't LOSE it entirely) and work on getting Black Dragon revised so that I can get it out there again?

I had a long conversation with T. McDonald and she told me about this non-fiction class she had taken. The instructor encouraged the people to work on the piece that was "most marketable." Which, in my case, would be Black Dragon because that is the closest to being "finished." Which is defined as the closest to being able to be sent out to agents and editors.

And so. Today I will pull BD out, dust it off, and get revising. What I need to remember is that it is my fictional world. I can make it whatever I want. That may sound like a no-brainer to you, but I am so bound by reality. I need to make a big sign with "My world-my rules" and set it up on my desk so I remember it always. Reality is what you make it, after all. So I need to shake off the real world. Shake it off, girl, shake it off!

Away

2008-08-05T22:23:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: STRESSED! Today's Music: soundtrack to Juno--yup, I am a vampire! Today's Writing: None--that might be why I'm stressed. Today's Quote:

"People want all the answers before they actually do the writing. But it's in the process of writing that you discover where you're going to go with a memoir."
-Natalie Goldberg

*******

Just thought I'd send a quick note telling you all to write hard while I'm away camping. Not writing. In a small, one room pop-up with my family. All week. With no alone time to write. I brought a journal and sketch pad and hope that saves me. Of course, it will probably be wonderful and fun and adventurous and .... I need more sleep before I can believe all that. Packing really does stress me out.

Anyway tell me what you've been up to while I'm gone!

How to crush an ego

2008-07-31T09:16:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Ranting at myself. Today's Music: None yet-but my sister-in-law lent me the soundtrack to Juno and said I should give it a listen. Today's Writing: so far just this. Today's Quote:

"There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are." -Somerset Maugham.

*******

A friend of mine was grieving and I had in mind to paint her a picture and write a poem (or something that resembled a poem) to go with it. Of course, the stars had to align just right in order for me to brave the painting process. I did the background first and then two more weeks went by before I attempted the actual painting. And when I got done, it looked like what it was--a novice painting of daffodils in the snow. After leaving it sit for a couple of days (and staring at it enough that my husband finally was inclined to give me his two-cents worth about what the problem was with it--which was tremendously helpful since I knew something was not right but wasn't quite sure what), I took out the paints again, touched it up a bit, and then called it done.

So, then comes the ego. I got all freaked out about sending it because I didn't want my friend to think I thought it was some great painting that she should frame and hang on the wall. I decided to scan it into the computer and then print it off as a card--that way it didn't matter if she didn't think it was a great picture because it was just a card. I went to work to scan it and while I was there, I got talking to my principal about the painting and my fear of sending it because I really didn't think it was "good enough."
"Here's the thing," she said. "If you send the original, your friend has the choice of whether or not to hang it up. A card is nice, especially since you made it, but it doesn't give her the option. And I'll tell you this, I have a friend who is an artist. Yup, he's not Picasso, but when he creates something for me, it means just as much to me--because HE MADE IT."

I thought about that, and in the end, I took the risk and sent the original painting. I had to fight down the urge to send a note explaining that it wasn't really a great painting but here's what it means. Again I took a big breath and just sent it with a simple note--not trying to explain it, not trying to belittle it. Just telling her I wanted to send this to her because it said what my words couldn't.

As an artist (whether I'm talking writing or painting or drawing.....) it is so difficult for me to get my ego out of the picture. It gets in the way of my writing, making it difficult to write because it might not be good enough. It gets in the way of my sharing/ sending out/ giving away because it might not be good enough. Granted, the whole publishing process is good at making me constantly question whether my writing is any good, but there is a place for that--and it is not in the creation stage.

We teach our kids to be humble, but how do we teach ourselves that saying our stuff isn't good enough is often the opposite of humble? It's ego. It's being afraid other people will judge it (and therefore judge US), and find it wanting, and we can't deal with that.

I'm trying to practice the art of allowing myself to write crap. But I find it extremely difficult. Despite loving to write, it is still easier NOT TO WRITE, than to write and have it not be any good. This novel I'm working on, I didn't outline this time. I know the basic conflict, the basic ending, but I wanted to allow it to go places unplanned. It might kill me. The last two days I'm just so totally sure that it all sucks and is going no where. I want to quit--but I can't. Because quitting is another thing I don't do well. And because I hate to suck and write crap, I spend more time drawing, and finding out that I suck at that too. And now the crap is so deep I'm drowning in it. The really good thing about that, is I FINALLY start to not care. Maybe the fumes kill the ego, I don't know. Whatever. I don't care. I'm just going to write and draw and paint BECAUSE I LIKE TO. So there. Take that you stupid ego!

Shot in the arm

2008-07-24T23:30:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: Amiable. Today's Music: The Fray--(yup, Robyn, it's new) Today's Writing: scraps of dialog from IFFY (the scene just popped in my head during my shower. I LOVE SHOWERS! Somehow they help wash the good stuff out onto the page.) Today's Quote: (Oh, the pressure!)

"Writing amounts to creating an oversized clay model; editing is the removal of the excess clay to reveal the piece inside." -Mystery writer Archer Mayorin "How I Write" The Writer August 2008

*******

I love my small writing group. Just when I'm in my most doubting mood, the writing going slower than the slugs in my garden--and leaving something similarly slimy and disgusting in its wake, it comes time to meet with my writers' group. I agonize over what to bring (do I bring something I think is really good and risk getting my bubble popped? Or do I bring something sluggish and risk having them throw me out of the group?). But when I see the other members of the group, they greet me as a writer, and suddenly, I see myself as a writer again. We get down to work and read and comment and hone our craft. And I come away from group so pumped up that it doesn't matter if I need to do some major rewriting, because I'm a writer damn it! That is what I do. I write and rewrite until I get it as polished as I can.

Last night I received what I think is the best compliment anyone has ever given me about my writing. I had read my piece and the group had discussed it, so it was my turn to talk. I asked if anyone thought the word dark was over-used in the piece (it was), and Shelly said, "Oh, sorry, I wasn't paying attention because I was so engrossed in the story I was reading ahead. You weren't reading fast enough for me; I had to find out what happened."

To heck with the overuse of dark, she just made my day/month/year! I went home and my mind was clicking away on new scenes and ideas. As my mother would have said--what a shot in the arm! Thanks group! You are the best.

Hypothetical Question

2008-07-20T22:07:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Calm. Today's Music: Coldplay-Rush of Blood to the Head. Today's Writing: messed around with an idea for a poem. Nothing more than a mess at the moment. Today's Quote: (I just spent 20 minutes surfing around trying to find a great quote. Caught myself watching a Drunk History video on UTube, thought, how the heck did I get here? And gave up.)

*******

I've got a hypothetical question for you--well, maybe two actually. Say there was this fortune teller who is NEVER wrong (obviously this is one part that makes it hypothetical--you cannot cheat and say that maybe the fortuneteller was wrong. She wasn't. Trust me), and she could tell if you would someday be a published author. Would you want to know? AND, if the fortune teller's answer was no, would you keep writing?

Zoned Out

2008-07-15T23:16:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: Blue. Today's Music: Sarah McLachlan--Rarities, B-sides... Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"We want to believe that creativity and innovation come in flashes of pure brilliance. But, innovation is a slow process of accretion, building small insight upon interesting fact upon tried-and-true process. Just as an oyster wraps layer upon layer of nacre atop an offending piece of sand, ultimately yielding a pearl, innovation percolates within hard work over time." -Janet Rae-Dupree, New York Times

*******

Today I want to think about two different, but possibly related, things. How do you get yourself to sit down so that you stand some chance of getting "in the zone?" And then, assuming you achieve the first, what do you do to bring yourself back to the "real" world? That is assuming the world doesn't just crash your party.

For the first question, I find myself coming up with excuses lately--not enough time, too likely to be interrupted, not in the mood to write, too much on my mind to write..... the list goes on. Usually I'm pretty good about getting my butt in the chair. Way, way back when, I thought I could only write when I was depressed. Granted, at the time maybe that was a good thing because I was depressed! But I learned I could write if I just sat down and started to write--gasp! Remember, I didn't say it was great writing or anything--but I definitely could write. And during the school year I have a set routine, so there isn't a question about sitting down to write; it's just what I do. But now.... I could use some help motivating me to get in the chair. I tried setting my alarm clock early with the thought that I'd get up and write before the kids were awake--but I turned it off (the last 3 mornings in a row!) Part of the problem is I hate to quit dreaming. I love that dozing stage where my brain is telling stories--so much easier than actually WRITING stories.

And that love of dreaming leads me to the second question: how do you ease out of the writing zone? After spending a number of hours writing, I get cranky going back to the details of real life--food preparation, clean up, refereeing children, bedtime routines.... It's all seems so mundane. A few times I've taken a short nap before I went to pick up the kids. That seemed to help. Taking a walk or sitting down (away from the computer) on the deck and relaxing with a cup of tea (or wine) also helps. Come to think about it, some of those things are the same things I do to get in the zone. Maybe it really is changing from left to right brained and back again.

Or maybe it's all in my head. Trust me, I'm starting to think writing is a complete head game. And right now I am so losing. I need a personal trainer or coach or anyone who will kick my butt out of bed and make me go write!

Creative Zone

2008-07-10T20:52:00.005-04:00

Today's Mood: Happy. Today's Music: IFFY Playlist. Today's Writing: notes for IFFY. Today's Quote:

“As artists, we must learn to be self-nourishing. We must become alert enough to consciously replenish our creative resources as we draw on them—to restock the trout pond, so to speak. I call this process filling the well.” -Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way

*******

Today I had an interesting discussion with a composer about different techniques we each use to reach the creative zone. It started with me talking about this link that has a test to see if you are right brain or left brain dominate. To my surprise, I saw the dancer turning counterclockwise at first (left-brain) and my husband saw it turning clockwise (right-brain). I generally think of him as more logical and me as more intuitive. Now granted, if I focused, I could see the dancer going the other way--and so could my husband. I found this interesting because the more I thought about it, the more it explained certain things about my writing. I like to write in a linear fashion. I like to have an idea where I am going in a piece. I am practical and goal-oriented.

In my discussion with Marilyn (the composer) we got talking about how we can access that right-brain. What things do we do that get us in the "creative zone?" Music is huge for me, but for her, since she is trying to compose, listening to music doesn't work. Sometimes she goes the other way--uses words, poetry, to get in the zone so she can create music. Drawing, painting, gardening, showering, driving, biking, cooking (as long as it is relaxed without a deadline and no hungry kids whining at me) reading--all those are things that help me zone out (so to speak) Honestly, showering is great, but people start to think you have OCD if you take too many showers a day, so I try to mix things up a bit.

Both Marilyn and I agreed that alone time is a must. I brought my journal with me camping, but since there were always lots of people around, I never managed to get quiet enough to write. Even when I'm home and the kids are busy, often it's hard for me to zone out because I know I'm going to be interrupted. And once I'm zoning, I don't like to be pulled out of it too abruptly. I get downright cranky in fact.

I wonder if people who are more right brain dominate have an easier time getting into the zone? The majority of people probably shift between left and right brain on a regular basis. Or maybe we even use both at the same time. I do think I'll try writing out of order a little more often. Maybe that will be another way for me to access the write brain a little easier. And I think I'll use Marilyn's idea and make a list of all the things that refill the well (to use Julia Cameron's words) and try to make sure I give myself permission to do those things on a regular basis. Sometimes I get so goal-oriented that I need to be reminded there is more to writing than just writing.

Focus

2008-07-06T22:01:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: Coldplay-Rush of Blood to the Head. Today's Writing: Zip. Today's Quote:

Be content in whatsoever state you are in. (Biblical but I have no clue where)

*******

We just got back from camping over the 4th of July. I always feel sort of manic/depressive when it comes to camping. One minute everything is wonderful, the weather is warm and the bugs are not too bad (especially if one is wearing enough deet--which happens to be my perfume of choice this summer). The kids are riding their bikes, I'm sitting and drawing, listening to my mp3 player. And then, in the next instant, the kids are screaming and blaming one another for the crash, crying, blood, the fire (which started nicely) is now just a smoking pit, and a mosquito just bit me on the eyebrow--the eyebrow for Pete's sake! But then, a few minutes later, the crisis is done, and my stress level slowly drops out of the red zone.

Ah, the joy of camping. Late nights with lots of fireworks that go on and on and on long after the 11:00 quiet time, the loud laughter from the campers next to us, the whining of one who swears that the sister--the OTHER sister--crossed on to her side of the bed, and the noise of something in the night--something with little feet and sharp teeth that tears through the trash bag and loves peach peelings. The stars shone bright, the fire danced blue and orange and yellow, and I relaxed and did not write.

But, now I am home, and tomorrow I will write. Blessings to you all and I hope the writing is flowing from your soul through your fingers onto the keys or paper.

Writing? What's writing?

2008-07-01T12:45:00.009-04:00

Posted by Deborah

Well, it's more than a week after the GL summer conference and I'm sitting on my son's screen porch in Winston Salem, NC, enjoying the perfect summer day and reading the PW blog, occasionally looking up at the sun shining off a hugo-gigantic magnolia whose blooms are ready to pop open. What a great way to spend a summer vacation! And while the week between the conference and now has been crazy, my mind keeps going over the memories, the conversations, the stories from Read Around and the small groups I was in. What blessings to have these thoughts running as an undercurrent to all I do.

I returned to what Chris H calls "writing for food" to find that my editor--the only editor I've ever had and a person who has care-fully nurtured my journalism, my interview ideas, my vision for the reporting I do--is leaving for another job (a fab opp for him and that makes me happy). But, selfishly, my first thought was "Oh my gosh! He's leaving me!," the second was about his happiness and wonderful future, and the third was "Oh my gosh! He's leaving me!" Talk about transitions, Sarah!

I've been through job losses, boss losses, reorgs, corporate changes in vision, and such before, and it's always turned out fine, sometimes it's even an improvement in my life, but that unknown (Who's going to be my boss now? What will he/she expect of me? Will I be able to perform? Will I keep my job?) can paralyze my writing. I can spend so much time trying to live up to what I think they think they expect of me that my brain just keeps looping over the same sentence/phrase/opening line and I spend hours on an article that should have taken 30 minutes to write, and then I'm pushing a very heavy deadline in front of me. Stress!

So, at the end of this month the new editor, as yet not hired, will probably be on board and I'll be transitioning to new ways of working. And while I know the solution is simple--just tell the story of the person I interviewed--it will, at least some days, be hard to remember that.

It's comforting to have the PW stories as undercurrent. But most of all, it gives me some peace knowing that all of you, the writers who can relate to this work, are rooting for me.

AND...how's this for a transition?...here's a sight Tom and I saw on the trip down here, just outside Nelsonville, OH.

Transitions

2008-06-26T22:03:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: On Edge. (more bad news on the cancer front.) Today's Music: Viva la Vida- Coldplay. Today's Writing: IFFY chapter something. Today's Quote:

The important thing is that there should be a space of time, say four hours a day at least, when a professional writer doesn't do anything else but write. He doesn't have to write, and if he doesn't feel like it, he shouldn't try. He can look out of the window or stand on his head or writhe on the floor. But he is not to do any other positive thing, not read, write letters, glance at magazines, or write checks. Write or nothing.[....] Two very simple rules, a. you don't have to write. B. you can't do anything else. The rest comes of itself." Letter to Alex Barris, an interview by mail 18 March 1949

*******

I struggle with transitions--both in the real world and in the writing world. As far as the real world goes, you'd think after 16 years I'd get used to the switch from work (in a school) to summer vacation, but every year I go through a strange phase of not knowing what to do. I make lists--lots of lists--and then lose them or stack them in a pile somewhere and never find them until one or two weeks after school as started again.

And I find transitions in my writing just as hard to accomplish. Characters get stuck in endless conversations or enter a room full of people and then I can't get them out. I tried making lists for that too: bomb goes off, MC blacks out, MC bolts out the door, it's past every one's bedtime, the cops show up and everybody runs..... The black out idea appealed the most. Then the MC could just up in a new room and I'd start from there. But how many times can a person black out?

Any advice? Comments? Snarky insights about life?

The Real World?

2008-06-22T13:26:00.008-04:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: none yet--but I can't wait to go buy the new Coldplay CD! Today's Writing: only the blog so far. (have plans to write for my hour after the girls go to bed.) Today's Quote:

"Start from a foundation of your own fantasies and feelings. Because the character you can't fantasize and feel with will fail." -Dwight V. Swain, in Creating Characters: How to Build Story People.

*******

Coming home from Glen Lake is always a strange mix of bitter and sweet. My youngest only partially lived up to her promise to be mean to me--because I left. My eldest was glad to see me, but spent the whole rest of the day up in her room playing. It was good to see the garden and what was blooming, good to talk and have dinner with my family, good to sleep in my own bed. But at the same time I missed talk of writing, missed sitting down at my computer and thinking 'okay, what happens next?', missed the feeling the spending time writing was not only okay, but expected.

I feel cut adrift, not quite sure of what I should be doing. Oh, there's plenty to do, but it all involves choices and prioritizing and planning. Up at Glen Lake, there really is only one priority: to write. Granted, I choose to do other things at times--swim, paddleboard, eat, talk--but writing is always there, running in my mind. When I'm at home, there are so many other things that the hum of the story can grow very faint.

SO, my resolution (for what it's worth) is to write EVERY day, even if it is only for 10 minutes. That way, the song of my story will still be audible. And when I do have more time to write, it won't take as long for me to tune into it.

Writing Schedule

2008-06-16T11:36:00.002-04:00

Unlike you, Sarah, I finally have a bit more time in the summer to write. I walk more (and take a pad of paper with me) and find beach time or home time to just sit, quiet my mind, and write. I LOVE it.

Change in Writing Schedule

2008-06-08T16:32:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: Muse--Invincible. Today's Writing: Blog. Today's Quote:

"Writing is like getting married. One should never commit oneself until one is amazed at one's luck." -Iris Murdoch , in The Black Prince

*******

It's summer! Summer, summer, summer! Summer indicates a lot of changes in my household: later to bed, later to rise, lots of swimming, biking, eating salads and grilled food. And biggest of all for the writer in me--a change in my writing schedule. Now instead of getting up and going to work early, I have to find some other place to squeeze in an hour or so of writing.

[short lapse--day or so] Sorry about the delay getting this up on the blog. We had some big storms and evidently that knocked out my charter signal. And then I had to reconfigure the router. Of course, I didn't have time to even look at it until the birthday madness cleared up. Not my birthday--my daughter's. 6 screaming kids. Boy, oh boy, I can't wait for Glen Lake!

So what have you all been up to?

Emotion

2008-05-29T06:53:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Cheerful. Today's Music: Modern Love. Today's Writing: Blog now, research for IFFY. Today's Quote:

“Research is formalized curiosity. It is poking and prying with a purpose.” Zora Neale Hurston quotes (American folklorist and Writer, 1903-1960)

*******

Okay all of you, I need your help. Yesterday I had small group and it raised the question about whether or not pain is an emotion. Awhile ago I did some research in an attempt to find a definition of emotion. It turns out that emotion is rather difficult to define--or at least to get people to agree on a definition. Besides which, the terms emotion, mood, motivation, and affect all get used somewhat interchangeably in popular culture. So let me give you a few of the definitions out there:

Emotion: a response to an environmental stimuli that creates an intense but short term affective state. Emotion is externally triggered.

Or another definition of Emotion: Emotions are psychological rewards and punishments. They constitute part of the feedback provided by the brain to motivate us to optimize our survival by acting to correct inner deviations from cellular homeostasis. In reptiles, injury, restraint, or blockage of ancient survival drives, such as air-hunger, cause powerful alarm responses and associated reactions. These are part of the ancient pleasure-pain drives ascribed to our brain core system Dragon. In the early mammals, these reptilian drives were extended or amplified by the limbic system to become a larger number of distinct emotions. Thus, the limbic-Caretaker has many behavioral properties overlapping those of Freud's Ego.

Mood: has a general stimulus--it is often difficult to determine the source of the mood--and has a longer span than emotion.

Affect: generally the intensity is milder than emotion. If the stimuli is intense--it is generally considered an emotion.

Motivation: motivations are internally fired up and are action oriented whereas emotions are more of a series of reactions to surrounding situations.

(Take it for what it is worth. This information comes from: http://www.socialresearchmethods.net/Gallery/Young/emotion.htm http://www.ciadvertising.org/studies/student/97_fall/theory/emotion/ea/definition.html

http://www2.hawaii.edu/~bemorton/Neuroscience/Neuropsychology/HexadyadChapt8.html)

Then there is the theory (actually more than one theory, but anyway) that there are PRIMARY emotions, and that all emotion comes from some sort of combination of those primary emotions. Of course, there is little agreement of what those primary emotions are. Robert Plutchik is one of those advocating the theory of primary emotions. He even uses colors to represent his model.

Another theory is the THE HEXADYAD PRIMARY EMOTIONS MODEL. In organisms whose brain includes a limbic system, there appear to be six independent primary emotion-generating systems. The function of these separately regulated primary emotion systems appears to be based upon the activity of several different limbic-brain core structural elements. This is supported by measurements of regional brain glucose uptake. In these observations, only the brain core system and the limbic system have shown shifts in regional brain activity during the production of emotion‑associated behaviors. In general, each of these emotion-associated structures receive separable neural inputs, and produce different neurotransmitter outputs most likely leading to production of a primary emotion.

Inherent in the hexadyad primary emotions model is the concept that each primary emotion-generating system produces an output ranging between two polar extremes. For each primary pair, one extreme is rewarding (appetitive) and generates approach behavior, while the other is punishing (aversive) and produces avoidance behavior. In keeping with this proposal, certain observed regional brain activity outputs occurred in opposite directions, depending on whether the emotion was rewarding or alarming. This binary, dichotomous situation is not to be confused with the dualism of mind and body, an obsolete concept to be discarded.

Given those definitions, do you think physical pain could be considered/connected to/experienced as emotion? My main character can feel (literally) the emotions of others. I'm struggling to determine if she would experience pain if someone else got hurt. She's in a fight, would she feel the others' pain as well as her own? Would she feel it as they did? Like, if they hit something, would her hand hurt? Or would she feel pain in a more general way--like, alarm?

Various other things I've read about psychics mention healing or being able to determine the source of pain, illness. I know this isn't a right or wrong type thing; most people would deny that these abilities exist at all. But I need to know if it exists for my character. I want to make this as believable as possible--suspension of disbelief, isn't it? As long as the "rules" seem logical, it doesn't matter if they are, or aren't. After all, it's fiction! Interesting questions that writing brings up. I love it. I never know what I am going to learn next.

Sacrifices

2008-05-25T20:20:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: Umm, some Bob Pollard this morning. Today's Writing: zip, zilch, zero. Today's Quote:

*******

So in the midst of stress and lack of sleep (a common enough state in my household--especially at this time of year), my husband and I had a lovely fight about... well, lots of things. The upshot of the whole thing was I had to sit and think very hard about whether or not I should, could, would give up writing for the betterment of the family. I decided I couldn't.

I COULD, however, give up conferences and lie about the small writer's groups--saying I was going out with a friend. I COULD get up in the middle of the night and write for a few hours and no one would know it. I COULD not talk about writing anymore at home. (yeah, I know, I tend to go extreme at times)

Thankfully we worked things out and my husband assured me that he had no desire to have me quit writing. (I hadn't told him that I didn't think I could--that I considered a lot of weird and strange ways to hide it, but I couldn't actually quit it. I guess that qualifies me as addicted, yes?)

But the question of what was important about writing has stayed with me. Yup, I CAN'T WAIT for Glen Lake--but I could do without it if I had to. Yup, I LOVE talking about writing--but I could do without it if I had to. Yup, my small writing group is important to me--but I COULD LIE about going there if I had to--and I could even do without it if I REALLY had to.

The one thing I just don't think I could give up and remain, well, sane, is actually writing. Spending time putting words, sentences, paragraphs, stories on paper--or at least on the computer.

Good thing I don't have to give up any of it--yet. Could you give up writing? What would you give it up for?

Procrastination or Writer's Block?

2008-05-16T09:22:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Optimistic. Today's Music: Guided by Voices - Mag Earwhig. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"I don't believe in writer's block. All writing is difficult... Plumbers don't get plumber's block and doctors don't get doctor's block; why should writers be the only profession that gives a special name to the difficulty of working and then expects sympathy for it?" ~ Phillip Pullman

*******

Check out this great article by Slate magazine that talks about the difference between writer's block and procrastination. The article quotes neurologist Alice Flaherty's attempt at a working distinction between procrastination and block--"A blocked writer has the discipline to stay at the desk but cannot write. A procrastinator, on the other hand, cannot bring himself to sit down at the desk; yet if something forces him to sit down he may write quite fluently."

Given that definition, I think I've suffered both at different points in time. Although any writer's block I've had has been of short duration. Mostly I procrastinate because I'm afraid of writing it and not having it be as good as it is in my head.

I've been reading an awesome book of interviews with Fantasy writers--The Wand in the Word--and it makes me feel not quite so alone. Or crazy. Reading about how all these great writers write in all different ways reminds me, yet again, that there is no RIGHT way to write. And a lot of the writers talk about how hard writing is, so just because I don't find writing easy doesn't mean I can't be a writer. There is hope for me yet!

Anyway, what makes it hard for you to write? Are you a procrastinator or do you have writer's block?

Plot Struggles

2008-05-09T22:33:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: The Call. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote: Nothing handy at the moment.

*******

Is it possible to have a novel be both a journey story (a Bildungsroman?) and a romance? And is Science Fiction a plot structure or just a way of telling a story?

I am, of course, thinking too much. But I am looking at where this story is going (with my other 2 novels I did quite extensive outlines before starting to write. With this one I wanted to try writing and seeing where it took me. No where fast, I can tell you that for sure!), and I went back to my original notes (I didn't jump into it totally blind--I'd have to change my whole personality in order for me to be able to do something like that!). I had gone through the book Story Structure Architect and found that the story I wanted to tell could be considered either a female journey story or a romance. And although there are many elements the same--conflicts and climax, and resolution and all that, certain elements are different.

Say for instance, it is a romance. In that case, the love interest has to show up early on in the story. Probably within the first 30 pages. It's not that I can't make that happen, but I am toying with the idea of making this more than one book. Possibly even a trilogy. Which may be insane seeing as I haven't even finished one rough draft yet! But it matters to how I proceed. If the main plot is journey story, I think romance can still be in the book--maybe like a subplot or something. And then the love interest can be mentioned, but not really play a big part right away--or even in the first book much at all.

If the main plot is romance, then... hmmm, even as I'm writing this I'm thinking that romance isn't enough for me to arc it over more than one book. Not that I can't come up with obstacles, but there has to be something more than that.

And at what point do I have to decide if it is going to be more than one book? Makes me think I need to take time to do a detailed outline. But I'm trying to allow more spontaneous creativity. I feel like I write a lot like I draw or paint. Put down one layer. Erase it. Put down another layer. Probably erase at least part of it. Put down another layer. Like I'm building a shithouse out of bricks made from straw and mud! Somehow I think that if I were a real writer, writing would be easier. I would be more creative and I could imagine the story in one fell swoop instead of slowly and painstakingly coming up with details to pile on top of each other until I have something that resembles a story.

How can I love something that drives me so crazy? Yet I do, and I'm not just talking about my husband and kids here! Writing is wonderful--and torturous at the same time. And I suppose I'd better just go to bed at this point before my head implodes. Happy writing!

Setting

2008-05-06T09:13:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Good. Today's Music: Bent - Matchbox 20. Today's Writing: IFFY (This week's sign of the apocalypse) Today's Quote:

"The road to hell is paved with adverbs." -Stephen King

*******

Recently it occurred to me that I could do more with the setting of my story. Granted, the setting isn't crucial to the plot--although maybe that is my problem. Maybe it should be. Or is it okay if it isn't?

I mean, I need it to be somewhere with a high school where there are students who are not very tolerant of differences. Oh wait! That is every freaking high school. I need it to be in a city/town where parents worry about keeping up appearances. Oh wait, that could be anywhere as well! Okay, I guess I want it to be on the big lake. Or I suppose it could be the ocean. Hmm. Doesn't really matter which it is. I mostly just want some large body of water. And a cemetery. But that is a lot of places as well. And I don't want it to be a huge town, but it can't be a podunk nowhere place either. (Nothing up in the U.P. : ) That's for you, Mark!)

Is it better to just imagine a place so I can make it whatever I want? Or is it better to locate the story in a real city? And if I put it in a real place, does it have to be accurate? I mean, can I mix imaginary and real? Do I have to get the street names right and all that?

I'm afraid I have little budget for an information gathering trip. Although, if I did, I'd make sure I located the story somewhere wonderful and warm! With great beaches.

The Internet gives me lots of information, but there is nothing quite like actually going somewhere and walking the streets and smelling the air and tasting the food.

So, are there good stories where the setting isn't all that important? I guess I can think of a few. Maybe they tend to be more character driven books instead of plot driven books.

What do you do when creating a setting for your story?

Spring Madness

2008-04-30T14:37:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Tired. T0day's Music: Random play. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

*******

Lately I don't feel much like a writer. I don't seem to be getting anywhere. Yesterday I put in capital letters, bright red font: STARTED 3RD PERSON HERE!!!!!!!! And then I wrote a paragraph in third person. Today I took out the capital letters in red font and rewrote the paragraph in first person.

What is my problem? Why is writing so hard? How will I know what is the right POV for this story? When will I stop asking questions?

Okay, sorry, had to slap myself there to end the madness. Does anyone else feel nuts this time of year? (another question, I know.) Maybe it's my job. Everybody is feeling the crunch and trying to jam in every last project before they run out of time. And I SWEAR that equipment--especially computers--always start flaking out once it hits April. It's like they know the end is near and no one in the tech. dept. wants to bother fixing them until summer, so they can glitch out all they want and stay safe from being re-ghosted. Of course, I might just chuck them out the window.....

I'm flaking out. I'm stretched too thin. I'm not writing enough. I can't think. I think too much. Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

So what is the fix? Anybody got any ideas on how to get through tough spots in their writing in only 25 minute writing increments a day? I just start to get to that zone and zing! Time's up.

And then there is the whole publishing thing. Still considering. You should hear something soon. Of course, since it has been over a year, soon has lost its glisten. If only I had an agent. Of course, to get an agent you have to query and query and query some more. And even that doesn't promise anything if you are a never before published writer. I guess I'd better call again. Sigh.

Maybe tomorrow.

Creative energy

2008-04-22T17:19:00.005-04:00

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: U2--The Joshua Tree. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.~ Robert Cromier

*******

I was hot today. The writing was flowing and I was working the words and then... I had to quit because it was time to go to work. No wonder I've been stuck on this dang chapter forever...well two weeks anyway. Oh, I wish I had more time!

Of course, when I do have time, what do I do? Work out in the yard. Watch the birds. Eat Popsicles. Read Francine Prose's book How to read like a writer. Great book by the way. Makes me want to go back and read the classics. Not that I have time.

I can't WAIT until Glen Lake!

Are there certain things that make you want to write? I read the book City of Ashes. Started it in the evening and read until 1:00 in the morning. The kids were in bed and my husband was gone and all I was doing was sitting and reading. But the story was so intense and I was so into it that I was sweating! Literally! I even ended out unbuttoning my shirt. The next morning I got up and read during my writing time. I finished the book later that afternoon. But even though I had little sleep, I was fired up. And the really awesome part is that it made me want to write! Ideas crowded into my head and the I'd think of new plot twists, scraps of dialogue, and descriptions of thing. The City of Ashes characters would keep cropping into my thoughts, but they weren't interfering.

Sometimes when I read a great book, it stalls my writing. It saps my energy and I end out thinking, I am never going to be able to write like this. I wish I could write a book that makes someone forgot to sleep, eat, take care of kids..... So why is it that some books feed my own creativity, and some make me feel like such a novice that I despair of ever being able to write a book good enough to obsess readers? Is it just mindset to begin with?

Have any of you ever had experiences like that? Do some books make you feel like you will never be that good a writer? Do some books pump you up and make you want to write? What do you think makes it go one way instead of the other? 'Cause personally, I like the energy created in the later!

What I enjoy

2008-04-17T12:38:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Capable. Today's Music: Random play on music library. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. ~Ray Bradbury

*******

The gremlins have been talking. I'm trying to drown them out using various different methods: chocolate (extra dark--or any really), alcohol (Mike's hard limeade is awesome when it is really cold!), sleep (gotta love those 1000 thread-count sheets!), music (lots of Robert Pollard--always good for upbeat stuff), painting (pictures not walls), and my oh so wonderful writing friends.

The upshot of this intervention is that I was forced to confront my fears, one of them being what if I never get anything published? And after finally facing that fear, I found that it really wouldn't change much of anything in my life. I wouldn't starve since my day job pays enough to buy something beyond Ramen noodles. So why was I getting all stressed and listening to gremlins?

It was time to focus on why I write. Which isn't to get published. It is because writing is something I enjoy--along with chocolate, hard lemonade, good sheets, music, art, and writing friends (and a few other things as well). Funny how easy it is for me to forget why I write. As soon as that deadline draws near and I have to face the possible rejection, the gremlins start talking and I can't remember all the joy and delight (and sweat and tears--but I'm not talking about that right now because I made the heading What I enjoy) of putting words on paper.

I need to write myself a love letter. A letter about how much I love writing. Even if I don't get published ever. But that's gotta be the gremlins talking. Right?

Imagination

2008-04-11T22:49:00.002-04:00

Today's Mood: Industrious. Today's Music: Tori Amos-Tales of a Librarian. Today's Writing: working on a poem. I think, however, that it needs to grow a little before it is ready to see the light of day. Today's Quote:

The novel is an event in consciousness. Our aim isn't to copy actuality, but to modify and recreate our sense of it. The novelist is inviting the reader to watch a performance in his own brain. -George Buchanan

*******

Today was the last day of spring break. At least I have the weekend to transition into the school week. I've been working on a painting I call Window to Imagination. People are always asking authors where they get their ideas. So what is imagination? Is it a pool of things we have read, seen, experienced, dreamed?

In my painting I portrayed the positive, whimsical side. But really, imagination can be dark and scary too. I used to frighten the heck out of myself imagining what might happen if someone broke into my house when my husband was gone and attacked me and my kids. (Okay, so I still frighten myself with that one now and then.)

And think of the horror writers like Stephen King. Definitely takes some kind of imagination to write those kind of stories. So our imagination must be fueled by our fears and desires as well. I imagined what I'd like to say to the idiot driver who passed me on the right going at least 80 miles an hour.

Sometimes imagining is a way to re-do things. When I don't like the way I handled something, I find myself imagining it a different way. Like I'll imagine saying something much funnier than what I actually said. Or sometimes I imagine myself pouring on the righteous anger. I'm always way funnier, stronger, smarter, and definitely sexier in my imagination. Funny how that works.

Maybe imagination is a way to try out new behaviors. I can say things that I couldn't really say in real life. Or at least I can say things and not have to pay the consequences. I guess if I was really looking through a window into my imagination, it would definitely have some dark things lurking in it as well as things like fairies and unicorns. Because if I can work out the nasty, petty, mean things by imagining them, then maybe I won't need to say or do them in real life.

By the way, this week I have watched two movies with authors as characters. Both movies (Stranger than Fiction and Nim's Island) portrayed the writers as neurotic. So see? There is no reason I shouldn't be an author!

Proper Opening Sentence

2008-04-09T03:57:00.002-04:00

I want to start an article with a quote. When man invented the shovel, he could plant a tree. When the axe came along he could chop it down. Aldo Leopold.

Is that correct or acceptable as opposed to Aldo Leopold wrote?

Thinkin' too much

2008-04-02T11:43:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Interested. Today's Music: A Fine Frenzy. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. ~E.L. Doctorow

The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium.
~Norbet Platt

*******

I have been trying to just write and not think. But I'm not very good at it. Especially the not thinking part. And really, don't have you to think at least a little to make the writing any good? (that's the rationalizing part of my brain talking)

So I'm writing this scene today, and I'm trying to get across that the MC (main character) is feeling both her own emotions as well as her friend's emotions. But then I get thinking, would she be able to seperate her emotions from those that are not hers? Which would be scarier--if she could or if she couldn't? (Either way, she'd probably think she was going nuts.) And if she doesn't know that some of the feelings are not hers, then how is the reader supposed to know that?--since I am writing in 1st person. So then I get thinking about whether or not I should really be writing in 3rd person limited. Maybe that would help get across to the reader what is going on even though the MC doesn't know--yet.

I had been trying to get around this issue by describing the physical, bodily reactions that occur when the MC experiences these different emotions. But that made me think about what is emotion? Just the physical feelings in the body? And do emotions and/or physical reactions--increase heartrate or whatever--come directly from an event or from what a person thinks about an event? And don't even get me started on color, hue, saturation, tone..... It makes my head spin.

So, needless to say, my writing slowed to a crawl and then stalled out completely. How do you write without thinking? How do you think enough to make it good writing but not stall out completely? How do you......?

I've got to stop thinking!

Favorite Part

2008-03-25T15:10:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Focused. Today's Music: Rob Thomas-Fallin' to pieces. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labeled "This could change your
life." -Helen Exley

*******

At the end of last week I had an eighth grade student come in and interview me--as a writer. One of the questions he asked me was "What is your favorite part of writing?" I wasnt' exactly sure how to answer this without resorting to inappropriate metaphors like "the high I get when the story is pushing forward" or "the europhoria of finding the right word, of focusing my mind so tight that I am no longer even aware of myself--kind of like what happens with really good sex."

But of course, I couldn't say any of that to an eighth grade boy, so I settled for something like "When I am immersed in writing, I love the way it feels like I am using more of my mind than at any other time."

So what it YOUR favorite part of writing? And go ahead, make the metaphor as racy as you want.

Truth

2008-03-15T23:00:00.004-04:00

Today's Mood: Reflective. Today's Music: Matchbox Twenty-Exile on Mainstreet. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote: (I'll get one in here tomorrow.)

*******

I've got a question. Is a personal essay true? All true? Exactly true? One person's true but not another's? I've been having a discussion with my husband about a piece I wrote. It is what I call a personal essay. It is my view of life, and of course, since my husband is a part of my life, he shows up in my writing every once and a while. He is not always exactly comfortable with this. In fact, he's not comfortable with it at all. He won't read it because he is sure he won't like it. I might not have him saying things exactly as he remembers saying them. (which is really a whole issue in itself!)

For example, in my essay Perspective, I have my husband saying "There has to be lots of writing books that deal with perspective." He tells me that he actually said, "I've seen lots of books that deal with perspective."

Now, I personally don't remember the exact wording. I personally don't think it really matters either since this is not a hugely important part of the story. The point is that he suggested I check out some books on perspective. I did. Done.

But it brings about the question of truth and where does my right to tell my story infringe on his right to privacy. I could give him a different name. Create a whole new husband in fact--that could be fun. But really, it kind of defeats the purpose of being a personal essay if I can't write about my life as I see it.

Anyway, I'm curious about your opinions on the matter. Have any of you had issues/problems with people in your life not wanting you to write about them--at all?

How long?

2008-03-12T10:39:00.003-04:00

Today's Mood: Calm. Today's Music: Pink Floyd-Wish you were here. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

Writing and reading is to me synonymous with existing. -Gertrude Stein

*******

How long does it take to get a book published? Check out Nathan Bransford's blog post for an enlightening article about this very subject.

I read another great post about rejection, but can't find it at the moment. I'll add the link in a comment when I find it. It was a blog post by an editor about a site where authors wrote about the rejection letters they received and how they felt about it.