Breaking the silence (on the blog, that is.)

Today's Mood: upbeat. Today's Music: Nickelback. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"If you aren't prepared to put your writing first, you aren't really a writer." - Rita Mae Brown (Harsh!)

*******

Whoop! Whoop! Summer is a comin'! And I can't wait for Glen Lake with its offer of nothing but writing for 24/7 all week long. (Along with a little bike riding, skinny dipping, ice-cream eating, and s'more roasting.)

Work has been crazy. The weather has been crazy. My family has been crazy. All God's children have been crazy! Or that's how it feels anyway. My writing is getting squeezed--enough that I think I might have to start lying. "Oh, I have a meeting for work tonight." "I'm not feeling well (cough, cough). I think I need to stay home and rest for a day."

Sigh. It won't happen. There's always too much to do at home and things at work that I can't miss. Still....

Today I was thinking about book trailers. We had Margaret Willey come in and speak to our sixth graders and she mentioned that if you are going to write a YA novel--you have to make a book trailer for it.

So when does one do that? Before you get an agent/publisher? Or after? Would that help sell it? Any of you out there played with making a book trailer? We have students do this at school, so I have the basic concept down. But trust me, the quality would have to be a lot better before I'd want to put anything out there to potential readers/publishers.

Still, something to think about when I'm busy doing ten zillion other things besides writing.

Book signing

Mark Wolfgang will be signing "Bedderhoff Dead" at Bestseller's Bookstore in downtown Mason MI on Saturday, April 16th. He'll probably issue reminders as the day approaches.

Laughing down south

Wanted to let you know that I've signed up to have a table at Books Alive, a local writing/reading conference on Feb. 5 sponsored by the Panama City Library. Carl Haissen will be the keynote speaker. But, I will have a table there where I can sign and sell copies of Laughing for a Living. I'm looking at my other books -- Good News Town and Royal Death -- with an eye to publishing them on Lulu too. I know the sales will be limited, but not as limited as being stuck in the drawer. And, maybe, if I get busy, I'll have a sequel to Good News Town written by the time I get home from Florida! I've been complaining that it isn't as warm as I would like, but hey, if it's chilly, maybe I'll get more writing done!

Six-word resolutions

Today's Mood: Industrious. Today's Music: Ipod on shuffle. Today's Writing: journal. Today's Quote:

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." -E.B. White

********

This morning I sat down to reflect on the past year--as well as make some resolutions for 2011. I have been reading a couple of books called

Close

Not quite what I was planning; six-word memoirs by writers famous and obscure, and so I decided to write my reflections as well as my goals in six words. In some ways it made it easier and in some ways harder. There were so many things that happened this year, it's impossible to even remember it all. When I only have six words, I am forced to focus only on a few things.

My reflections on 2010:

Year went by; not everything done.
Year went by; more to do.
A year gone by. Not published.
Chocolate and wine consumed in measure.
Family, work, writing--they don't balance.
Still haven't finished damned rough draft.
Should have written more, cleaned less.
House not condemned--can still write.

As for resolutions:

Write more and more and more.
Finish rough draft--revise, revise, revise.
Write when inspired--daily at 6:30.
Eat less, exercise more--good luck.
Send out awesome query--get published.
Become famous and then find publisher.
Exercise and write more--goodbye sleep.

How about you? How was your 2010? And do you have any resolutions for 2011?

And the beat goes on...

Just to update the status of my book sales via Lulu. They send me a weekly report and so far I have sold 15 books online, all friends and relatives I'm sure. It's not heading for the New York Times Best Seller list anytime soon. Steve and I are in Florida now for 3 months. I brought 25 books with me with the plan of having a book signing while I'm down here for the snowbird group. I'll let you know as that evolves. So, have I sparked any interest in self-publishing? Any questions for Mark or myself about publishing on Lulu?

Blame the snow

Tonight's book signing at Civic Theatre was a bust. Sold a grand total of four books and three of those were to Civic Theatre employees. Everyone told me book signings are not a good way to sell books but I thought I had figured the angles: A book about theater, benefiting a theater, sold in a theater to a theater audience. People didn't even stop by to get some candy or pick up a free bookmark. And that's with a nice story in The Press and a great radio interview. It makes you think about what it takes to grab people's interest.

News of Sue

Check out this article on Sue Merrell's book Laughing for a Living in the GR Press.

The proof is in the pudding...or something like that.

In the interest of fairness, I must report that the proof finally arrived today, three weeks after I ordered it. In some ways it relieved my concern. It is almost as good as the original 20 I received, but the cover is much darker. I didn't make any changes in the cover PDF so that means every print run is going to be a different shade. Not terrible, unless you display them side by side. One of the photos inside the new version doesn't look very good. I scanned in the photo of Cary Grant that we ran in the newspaper 26 years ago so it's a photo of a photo. Never a good idea. But it looked okay in the original 20 copies. I guess the compression I used on the new PDF isn't as good as what my son used on the original copies so the flaws are much more noticeable. I'm not sure if it is enough for me to create another revision, especially since I'm not sure if I can fix it. This is what happens when you let us non-tech types dip our fingers in the publishing pool. For those of you who are interested, I'll be signing copies at 6 p.m. Dec 1 at Grand Rapids Civic Theatre, 30 N. Division Ave. -- assuming that the 50 copies that shipped Saturday arrive by then. You can read more about the book at lulu.com/spotlight/suemerrell

Another Lulu fan

Echoing Sue's experience to some degree, I found publishing on Lulu to be, if not exactly easy and straightforward, at least doable. Starting at the beginning and following the steps helps. Going back later for corrections and updates is a little more troublesome. I don't know how Sue gets her books so cheap!!! Lulu gets about $9.80 of each copy of my "Bedderhoff Dead." Which means I need to charge a bit more. Plus shipping. Of course I'm probably a bit bloated at 265+ pages. I hope Sue has a link she can post for promotion and sales. I'll throw mine out here: http://www.yoopernatural.com/

Mark

Bookin' it

I'm not the kind of person to watch the mail box. I let it accumulate for days and check it maybe once a week. But lately I've been watching when the mail truck arrives, grabbing my keys and heading for the box. Reminds me of back during the Vietnam War when I was delivering mail one summer and young wives would wait for my arrival and that air mail letter on the tissue thin paper with an APO return address.

I'm awaiting an even more elusive lover -- my book. I published my memoir, Laughing for a Living, on Lulu. At first it seemed so easy. My son helped me with the cover design and all the technical PDF, embedded type stuff. We did the deed on Halloween weekend like some satanic ritual. I kept waiting for the Web site to make some outrageous demand of money, but it never happened.

"Congratulations!" it said. "You're a published author." No charge. Now it was time to order books. The site suggested one for proofing but I was brave. I ordered 20 at $6.74 each. Shipping and handling -- that's where they make their money -- added another $1.25 a book. I figured if I was lucky, they would get here by Thanksgiving, just in time to distribute to family as a surprise Christmas gift.

A couple of days later, I was pulling out of the driveway and spotted a box on my porch. It couldn't be. It was! My book. And it looked gooooooood. Great, in fact. I was so excited I announced it on Facebook. A dozen friends expressed interest. 20 books was not going to be enough.

I called Bruce Tinker, the executive director of Grand Rapids Civic Theatre. The cover is a funny photo of me standing in front of the theater on the day I retired from The Press. I offered Bruce a proposition. If they want to sell the book in the lobby before "Peter Pan," they can have all proceeds over my cost. He needed a few days to discuss it with staff. I dropped off a book for his perusal. He called me back. They loved it. Could I get them 50? And do a book signing?

It's Monday, a week after Halloween, I should have plenty of time to get 50 by the time the show opens on Nov. 19. Eleven days. But the opening weekend is hectic and I'm out of town for Thanksgiving the following week. We agree to do the book signing on Wednesday, Dec. 1. Plenty of time.

Enough time that I decide to make a few revisions. Nothing major. I wanted to credit the friend who took the cover photo, correct a misspelling or two. To do these changes I needed to upload a new pdf and delete the old. I didn't want to bother my son, so I downloaded Open Office to create a new PDF, followed the directions on Lulu, and voila. I'm a published author again.

This time I order just one book to proof it. What if I did something wrong in making the PDF, even though it looks okay online? I check the box to have it sent by US mail. It's just one little book. Three days, I think.

That was Nov. 8 and I'm still checking the mail daily. The proof has not arrived. Unlike FedEx or UPS, the US Mail doesn't offer tracking. I chat with the people at Lulu. Nothing they can do. It was shipped Nov. 10. Nov. 17 is two weeks before the book signing. I decide I need to order 50 books by that day, even though I haven't seen the proof. Surely, they will look just as good as the first 20. Surely.

So, I meet the mail truck. I order promotional bookmarks and a poster of the cover to use on my booksigning table, and I meet the mail truck. Still no proof. The Press calls to do a story about my book and all I can do is spill my guts about the missing proof. Will the other books arrive? Dare I give out the Christmas gifts as planned?

I used to think getting published was the hardest part of writing. That was before I knew about waiting for the mail.

Tension

Today's Mood: Frustrated. Today's Music: Linkin Park, A Thousand Suns. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

*******

It's been a long time since I've blogged, but I want everyone to know that I am writing. I went to an awesome Fiction Critique, and I've attended a Fall Writing Retreat, and I've dragged my butt out of bed at the ungodly hour of 5:30 a.m. every week day to write. The rough draft is inching along toward completion--and I do mean inching. Wish I was a faster writer. But hey, at least I see progress. Still have that 2010 goal.

I want to write/think/contemplate/dialog about creating tension in your writing. However, tonight I don't have time so I thought I'd throw it out there, let people give me their thoughts. Then, when I have an evening where I'm not keeling over with exhaustion, I'd try to put my thoughts into words.

So what do you think? What is tension and how do you create tension in your writing?

Insane

Today's Mood: overwhelmed. Today's Music: Linkin Park. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

*******

First day back to work with students. First off, let me just say that 5:30 a.m. is so NOT morning. It is the freaking middle of the night! When my alarm went off I couldn't help but think that just as early as the morning before, I could have rolled over and got another 3 1/2 hours of sleep!

The library is hot, dusty, and so not ready for operations as normal. No email or Internet is a good thing when I'm suppose to be writing though. Unfortunately I sat and did more stressing over the scene than actually writing. This is the scene that was killing me before I took a break to go camping. So maybe that's why the break lasted as long as it did!

I need to move on in a big way. Just start a new scene or something. Maybe I should just skip the scene altogether. Cut it out. But...but....

Gahhhhh! I can't think anymore. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow will be better. Right?

Fall Goal

Today's Mood: Purposeful. Today's Music: Alan Parson's Project. Today's Writing: If defined broadly, IFFY. Today's Quote:

*******

It's back to school time. The end of long summer days that stretch out in front of me, full of potential for writing, painting, drawing, playing in the waves, riding my bike, and all sorts of other no doubt wonderful things. I'll miss that--the potential, the possibilities that exist. Each day I'd wake up and lie in bed, spinning out a colorful tapestry in my mind of all the adventures waiting for me. Yeah, most of the time real life interfered and I'd end out cleaning or taking my kids to the dentist, but oh, just the freedom of possibilities!

However, there is one good thing about summer's end; I actually attempt to accomplish all the things I meant to do in June and July--and put off. Why, this last week I got more projects crossed off my list than I did the whole rest of the summer. And I have to remind myself that life doesn't end just because I go back to work. It speeds up (which is scary since the whole dang summer went by so fast it was a rainbow-colored blur!), but it doesn't mean I can't do the things that feed me--one of them being writing.

In fact, routine is good for writing, good for me anyway. I go to work early and write. And to teachers, the start of the school year is like New Year's Day--we make our resolutions or goals for the upcoming school year. So this school year, 2010/2011, I aim to finish my rough draft of IFFY. I'm even going to turn the screws a little tighter and say that I aim to finish my rough draft in 2010.

There. I said it. I blogged it. And thus it is official.


Now I just have to do it.

Test

I am at such a loss with blogs, but I am determined not to let this gremlin win. This is a test blog entry to see if I know what I'm doing.

Process

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: Lifehouse. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"I would write a book, or a short story, at least three times--once to understand it, the second time to improve the prose, and a third to compel it to say what it still must say. Somewhere I put it this way: first drafts are for learning what one's fiction wants him to say. Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing: 'The men and things of today are wont to lie fairer and truer in tomorrow's meadow,' Henry Thoreau said." -Bernard Malamud

*******

Peninsula Writers' summer conference was all about process. Mary Ann Samyn, the keynote speaker, said "I write every day, but I define writing very broadly." She spoke of process as 'paying attention'. Noticing everything--even all the little things that make up a day, like folding laundry and mowing the lawn. What smells are associated with those tasks? What emotions? So often we go through life on autopilot, just doing our chores, our business without really thinking about it. As writers we need to PAY ATTENTION. Mary Ann said it helps her to think of the day as "on loan".

I like this idea. Somehow it makes the day seem a bit different--special somehow. And it certainly makes me notice things more. It reminds me of when my car was in the shop and they gave me a loaner car. I still did my regular errands--work, picking up kids, going to the grocery store--but it was different. Even the kids payed more attention to the way the car felt, sounded, smelled. I was more intentional about things. Intention is defined as "done by intention or design. Intent = directed with keen attention. If I go about my day with intention, I am keenly aware of everything. The same follows if I go about my writing with intention.

The other thing that struck me about Mary Ann's talk on Process, was her comment that writers need to stay "crouched down" by their writing. We need to stay close to the writing. Even when it gets tough. Especially when it is tough. Going back to her definition of writing, I don't think that means I need to keep hammering away at the keyboard even when it isn't working--at least, not always. Sometimes the 'butt in chair' method does work for me. But there are other ways of remaining "crouched down". (Isn't that a great phrase? Gives me such a good picture.)

Samyn said she takes her writing with her wherever she goes. Literally. She prints off the poem she is working on and takes it with her--to get her oil changed. To work. Wherever. That way she can keep working on it even when she isn't actively writing it. Helps to have a pen or pencil with you as well.

Mary Ann also reads it aloud. Again and again. Hence the idea of taking it with you wherever you go. Listen to how it sounds. What pictures does your brain display as it hears the words, the story? Somehow the words change when they are spoken. A weird alchemy occurs. I have experienced this with my small writing group--when I read my piece of writing out loud to them, I catch things I didn't before. Knowing that they are listening makes me hear it different. That's why my small writing group is such an important part of my process.

So, where does that leave us? I've heard the writing process defined in a lot of different ways. Some have worked for me, some have not. The older (and better, I hope) I get, the more I realize how each person's writing process is unique. Do you like Mary Ann's definition of "paying attention"? How would you define it?

Most of all--keep writing!

Debriefing the writing process

Today's Mood: a tad high-strung. Today's Music: nothing. Today's Writing: nothing. Today's Quote:

"Remember, you are the creator of your own life story." -Don Miguel Ruiz, Don Jose Ruiz in The Fifth Agreement.

*******

Ah yes, it's been awhile. A long while as a matter of fact. Lots of things going on in the world and in my life. Even some writing, I'm glad to say. Not as much as I'd like, but even that is good. Something to strive for in the weeks, months, years to come.

At present I am looking forward to going up to beautiful Glen Lake and living among writers for a week, and writing. Writing 24/7--or as much as I can while still allowing for eating and sleeping. Unlike years past, I haven't had much time to anticipate or stress over going because I have had a sick kid. But now that she is feeling better, the excitement is starting to fizz. We are doing a silent auction this year and I spent the evening getting my entries ready--and no, I'm not telling what they are--other than that they are so cool and everyone will want to bid on them. I hope.

The other thing I'm starting to think about is the debriefing session I am suppose to lead next week. (Debriefing being where we talk about the writing process.) I'm at a bit of a loss for a topic--not that there aren't a lot of facets to the writing process, but that we have, at one time or another during the many years I have gone to this conference, already talked about them. So I've been hitting the writing/author/agent/publisher blogs hoping something inspires me, or confuses me, or angers me. Hunting for an interesting topic.

Anyone have any suggestions? It gets even harder when you consider we are not all fiction writers. We are not all poets. We are not all trying to get published. We are not all writing for children--or teens--or adults. Sooooo it has to be a topic that applies to all writers.

So far on my list of possibilities:

how to deal with critiques, technology and writing--help or hindrance?, wait time (as in, how long do you let something sit before revision?), exploring different genres, the changing publishing industry and its impact on writers, word ruts and how to get out of them.

Any favorites? Anything other burning questions/concerns you wish someone would talk about with you? (on the topic of writing, mind you!)

Giddy Friday

Today's Mood: Hmm, exhausted by giddy that it is Friday = slaphappy? Today's Music: Random Shuffle. Today's Writing: IFFY (of course--still working on the 2 pages for today--can I count the blog as well?) Today's Quote:

"What's the most positive thing you could tell writers today?" "That it really matters that they write." --from the May/June 2010 Writer's Digest interview with Anne Lamott.

*******

It's Friday! I can't believe I made it! This week I swore I was going to do a better job at getting up on time so my writing didn't get cut short. The alarm would ring and I'd hit the snooze, still more asleep than awake. 9 minutes later. The damn alarm. Again. This time I'd scrub my eyes, groan, even thrash about and change position. Five more minutes, I'd promise, I'll get up in five. more. minutes.

I did manage to drag my sorry, tired body out of bed 15 minutes earlier than last week. 15 minutes. That's all I could manage. Then the one day the cat had thrown up during the night (can't believe I didn't hear that!), so there went my hard-won 15 minutes, cleaning up cat puke.

It was great to come home on Thursday and read the interview with Anne Lamott. To be told--by a great writer at that--that it mattered if I wrote. Made my day. Made me re-commit to writing every day. I mean, writing 2 pages a day, not just tapping out two sentences only to delete one if not both of them.

And I can't believe how true it is that when I make the time--the story is there. The characters show up. I took my shower last night, so busy thinking about the scene I had been working on just prior, that I all of a sudden realized I didn't know if I had shampooed, conditioned, or both. Then another idea occurred to me (about the beginning of the story). I got out, grabbed a towel and went to jot it all down in my journal before I forgot.

This week I realized I cannot do my best at everything at the same time. This therapy moment might have come about when my youngest daughter asked me, "If you could pick another job, what would it be?" Me: a writer. Oldest daughter: You already are that--it's your second-hand job. (isn't there a passage in the Bible about not letting the one hand know what the other is doing?)

So okay, I give. Uncle. I cannot do my best as a librarian, a mom, a writer, a wife, an exerciser (not sure that's even a word, but I certainly don't qualify for exercise guru or exercise nut), a housekeeper, and a cook. In fact, I'm pretty sure I only have the energy to do my best at one thing at a time. Don't know if I should assign days--oops, sorry honey, today's my day to do my best as a writer, not as a wife--or maybe just settle for doing everything okay.

Good thing Anne Lamott urges me to write those shitty first drafts. Now that is something I can do.

Happy Friday.

Writing pure

Today's Mood: contemplative. Today's Music: IFFY playlist. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

"Writers need to be like Zen students. We require Still Pond. That is, psychic space in which nothing else is happening. If you're a frantic scheduler, it's likely you're carrying around the Burden of Being Everything to Everyone." -Heather Sellers, Chapter after Chapter.

*******

I've been reading poetry lately in an effort to prime my writing pump. (Which must be working to some degree because I am writing--of course, that could also be due to having writing group (which means I have to have something to share) or Spring Break)

I came across Billy Collin's poem, Purity. At first, I liked it because it was funny. Funny to me anyway. It starts off talking about his favorite time to write--"in the late afternoon, weekdays, particularly Wednesdays."

Then the poet goes on to detail exactly how he goes about writing. Always interested in hearing about someones writing process, I read the poem very seriously.

Get a fresh pot of tea--Hey, I do that!
Take off clothes--okay, that's a little weird. Cold, too. But whatever works.
Remove flesh and hang it over a chair--Oh, so, this is metaphorical. He probably doesn't really take off his clothes, either.
"Finally I remove each of my organs and arrange them on a small table near the window."--I like how he doesn't want "their ancient rhythms" interfering with his writing.
So he's now ready to begin, nothing but a skeleton at a typewriter--whew, what's the pub. date on this? 1991. Okay, yeah. Bet he uses a computer now.

And then comes the stanza that cracks me up:

I should mention that sometimes I leave my penis on.
I find it difficult to ignore the temptation.
Then I am a skeleton with a penis at a typewriter.

Okay, that picture in my head is so funny I have to go down and share it with my husband. He thinks it's kind of weird. Mildly amusing, but weird.

Collins goes on to explain how he writes "extraordinary love poems, most of them exploiting the connection between sex and death."

I think about that for awhile. Sex and death. The primitive drive for life, or continuance of life, and the unavoidable journey toward death.

The poem continues, and the poet talks about how he eventually removes his penis too. "Now I write only about death, most classical of themes in language light as the air between my ribs."

It doesn't come to me until later that Collins is talking about the process writers undergo of getting outside of themselves, their own preconceived ideas, thoughts, experiences. And maybe, truly the hardest part is getting outside of our perception as males or females. I suppose I see things in a certain way because I am female--and often I am unaware of how that influences what I perceive.

Do you think it is important to try to step outside ourselves as we write? To take off our clothes, hang up our flesh, remove our organs--maybe even our sex organs? Is this even possible?

Spring!

Today's Mood: Happy. Today's Music: Right now--Storm by Lifehouse, which doesn't exactly fit with the happy mood, but hey, I'm a woman of complexity. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

This is the only life I have, this one in my head,
the one that travels along the surface of my body
singing the low voltage song of the ego
- from "One Life to Live" by Billy Collins in Questions About Angels

*******

I was stuck at work for awhile today, waiting for the network to function and upload my pictures (thinking in my blind optimistic way that it would be faster than actually going out to my car and driving across town to Walgreens--alas, it was not), and I picked up a book of poetry by Mary Oliver. After reading several of her poems, I vowed to rededicate myself to reading at least one poem a day. Not that it has to be one of her poems--although she is a fabulous poet. I just want to hear the language of poetry. I want the images perking in my brain all day. Every day.

Life has been particularly busy, and rather stressful as well with all the political stuff going on in Lansing and in the nation. (Can you believe our Attorney General is going to sue the U.S. Government?! Talk about frivolous lawsuits--with money we don't have.) None of it helps my writing. I need to crave out a space of quiet, of time to think. And maybe even more important than that is an attitude of quiet. An attitude of contemplation.

Poetry can help. I think reading poetry every day helps my mind quiet itself, quit chewing on its own tail. And maybe then I'll be able to hear my story a little quicker, a little louder.

I love to feel the daily turning of the pages,
the sentences unwinding like string,
and when something really important happens,
I walk out to the edges of the page
and, always the student,
make an asterisk, a little star, in the margin.
-from "Cliche", by Billy Collins in Questions About Angels

How's the writing life been treating you lately? Has the muse been visiting regular like, or is she hopelessly late and often out of town?

Surprises

Today's Mood: Lucky..... Today's Music: U2--Helter Skelter. Today's Writing: IFFY (getting close to 80,000 words) Today's Quote:

And here's what I think is one of the very most important thing to do in a query: be as specific as possible. Allow me to be even more specific: be as specific as possible about the right things. -Nathan Bransford

*******

I know, I know, it's been awhile. Lots of things going on--although possibly not as much writing as I SHOULD be doing. But see, I'm trying to get rid of shoulds in my life. They don't serve much purpose besides making me feel guilty, which usually just makes me do things like eat chocolate and drink wine--oh, and whine.

Khardomah was great. I got two more chapters written, and was on a roll the last day when--of all annoying things--a new character showed up. And now I've been stalling, unsure of exactly why the character is there. Just because my brain coughed her up doesn't mean I should put her in the book. But for some reason one of my important characters wanted to introduce her to my main character.

I've been fiddling around, trying out different possibilities for who this character is and why she is important. The only way to find out is to write it and then see if it fits. Still, it's kind of hard to write until I have a direction.

So I was wondering if anyone else had this experience of something unexpected showing up in their writing--and not knowing right away what it was there for. Or even if they SHOULD include it or ditch it. What do you do about it?