Shot in the arm

Today's Mood: Amiable. Today's Music: The Fray--(yup, Robyn, it's new) Today's Writing: scraps of dialog from IFFY (the scene just popped in my head during my shower. I LOVE SHOWERS! Somehow they help wash the good stuff out onto the page.) Today's Quote: (Oh, the pressure!)

"Writing amounts to creating an oversized clay model; editing is the removal of the excess clay to reveal the piece inside." -Mystery writer Archer Mayorin "How I Write" The Writer August 2008

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I love my small writing group. Just when I'm in my most doubting mood, the writing going slower than the slugs in my garden--and leaving something similarly slimy and disgusting in its wake, it comes time to meet with my writers' group. I agonize over what to bring (do I bring something I think is really good and risk getting my bubble popped? Or do I bring something sluggish and risk having them throw me out of the group?). But when I see the other members of the group, they greet me as a writer, and suddenly, I see myself as a writer again. We get down to work and read and comment and hone our craft. And I come away from group so pumped up that it doesn't matter if I need to do some major rewriting, because I'm a writer damn it! That is what I do. I write and rewrite until I get it as polished as I can.

Last night I received what I think is the best compliment anyone has ever given me about my writing. I had read my piece and the group had discussed it, so it was my turn to talk. I asked if anyone thought the word dark was over-used in the piece (it was), and Shelly said, "Oh, sorry, I wasn't paying attention because I was so engrossed in the story I was reading ahead. You weren't reading fast enough for me; I had to find out what happened."

To heck with the overuse of dark, she just made my day/month/year! I went home and my mind was clicking away on new scenes and ideas. As my mother would have said--what a shot in the arm! Thanks group! You are the best.

Creative Zone

Today's Mood: Happy. Today's Music: IFFY Playlist. Today's Writing: notes for IFFY. Today's Quote:

“As artists, we must learn to be self-nourishing. We must become alert enough to consciously replenish our creative resources as we draw on them—to restock the trout pond, so to speak. I call this process filling the well.” -Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way

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Today I had an interesting discussion with a composer about different techniques we each use to reach the creative zone. It started with me talking about this link that has a test to see if you are right brain or left brain dominate. To my surprise, I saw the dancer turning counterclockwise at first (left-brain) and my husband saw it turning clockwise (right-brain). I generally think of him as more logical and me as more intuitive. Now granted, if I focused, I could see the dancer going the other way--and so could my husband. I found this interesting because the more I thought about it, the more it explained certain things about my writing. I like to write in a linear fashion. I like to have an idea where I am going in a piece. I am practical and goal-oriented.

In my discussion with Marilyn (the composer) we got talking about how we can access that right-brain. What things do we do that get us in the "creative zone?" Music is huge for me, but for her, since she is trying to compose, listening to music doesn't work. Sometimes she goes the other way--uses words, poetry, to get in the zone so she can create music. Drawing, painting, gardening, showering, driving, biking, cooking (as long as it is relaxed without a deadline and no hungry kids whining at me) reading--all those are things that help me zone out (so to speak) Honestly, showering is great, but people start to think you have OCD if you take too many showers a day, so I try to mix things up a bit.

Both Marilyn and I agreed that alone time is a must. I brought my journal with me camping, but since there were always lots of people around, I never managed to get quiet enough to write. Even when I'm home and the kids are busy, often it's hard for me to zone out because I know I'm going to be interrupted. And once I'm zoning, I don't like to be pulled out of it too abruptly. I get downright cranky in fact.

I wonder if people who are more right brain dominate have an easier time getting into the zone? The majority of people probably shift between left and right brain on a regular basis. Or maybe we even use both at the same time. I do think I'll try writing out of order a little more often. Maybe that will be another way for me to access the write brain a little easier. And I think I'll use Marilyn's idea and make a list of all the things that refill the well (to use Julia Cameron's words) and try to make sure I give myself permission to do those things on a regular basis. Sometimes I get so goal-oriented that I need to be reminded there is more to writing than just writing.

The Real World?

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: none yet--but I can't wait to go buy the new Coldplay CD! Today's Writing: only the blog so far. (have plans to write for my hour after the girls go to bed.) Today's Quote:

"Start from a foundation of your own fantasies and feelings. Because the character you can't fantasize and feel with will fail." -Dwight V. Swain, in Creating Characters: How to Build Story People.

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Coming home from Glen Lake is always a strange mix of bitter and sweet. My youngest only partially lived up to her promise to be mean to me--because I left. My eldest was glad to see me, but spent the whole rest of the day up in her room playing. It was good to see the garden and what was blooming, good to talk and have dinner with my family, good to sleep in my own bed. But at the same time I missed talk of writing, missed sitting down at my computer and thinking 'okay, what happens next?', missed the feeling the spending time writing was not only okay, but expected.

I feel cut adrift, not quite sure of what I should be doing. Oh, there's plenty to do, but it all involves choices and prioritizing and planning. Up at Glen Lake, there really is only one priority: to write. Granted, I choose to do other things at times--swim, paddleboard, eat, talk--but writing is always there, running in my mind. When I'm at home, there are so many other things that the hum of the story can grow very faint.

SO, my resolution (for what it's worth) is to write EVERY day, even if it is only for 10 minutes. That way, the song of my story will still be audible. And when I do have more time to write, it won't take as long for me to tune into it.

Creative energy

Today's Mood: Relaxed. Today's Music: U2--The Joshua Tree. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:

The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.~ Robert Cromier

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I was hot today. The writing was flowing and I was working the words and then... I had to quit because it was time to go to work. No wonder I've been stuck on this dang chapter forever...well two weeks anyway. Oh, I wish I had more time!

Of course, when I do have time, what do I do? Work out in the yard. Watch the birds. Eat Popsicles. Read Francine Prose's book How to read like a writer. Great book by the way. Makes me want to go back and read the classics. Not that I have time.

I can't WAIT until Glen Lake!

Are there certain things that make you want to write? I read the book City of Ashes. Started it in the evening and read until 1:00 in the morning. The kids were in bed and my husband was gone and all I was doing was sitting and reading. But the story was so intense and I was so into it that I was sweating! Literally! I even ended out unbuttoning my shirt. The next morning I got up and read during my writing time. I finished the book later that afternoon. But even though I had little sleep, I was fired up. And the really awesome part is that it made me want to write! Ideas crowded into my head and the I'd think of new plot twists, scraps of dialogue, and descriptions of thing. The City of Ashes characters would keep cropping into my thoughts, but they weren't interfering.

Sometimes when I read a great book, it stalls my writing. It saps my energy and I end out thinking, I am never going to be able to write like this. I wish I could write a book that makes someone forgot to sleep, eat, take care of kids..... So why is it that some books feed my own creativity, and some make me feel like such a novice that I despair of ever being able to write a book good enough to obsess readers? Is it just mindset to begin with?

Have any of you ever had experiences like that? Do some books make you feel like you will never be that good a writer? Do some books pump you up and make you want to write? What do you think makes it go one way instead of the other? 'Cause personally, I like the energy created in the later!

Being ready for inspiration

Today's Mood: More settled than of late. Today's Music: Maroon 5 (can you tell this group is new for me? Nothing like wearing it out!) Today's Writing: Journaling (prewriting for an essay I want to write) and looking over comments from my small group on Chapter ? (I think it's 6 but I've been out of touch) of IFFY. Today's Quote:

"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it." -C. S. Lewis (1898 - 1963)

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What weird things do you do to be ready for inspiration when it hits at odd moments? I've heard of people (yes, Robin, I'm talking about you) who have crayons in the shower so that if an idea strikes at that moment when the hair is full of shampoo, she can preserve it on the shower wall. I take a notebook in my purse so I can write down ideas that occur to me while I'm at the oil change place (I got through a whole chapter the last time I was there. Nothing like a little enforced butt in chair to break down internal barriers!), or in church (it's amazing how sitting quietly gets my mind working. I've been tempted to that the pastor for the great writing time--but I suppose that could (quite unintentionally) imply that his sermon was less than riveting.).

Anyway, two nights ago I woke up around 3:40 a.m. and in an effort to get my mind off this whole laptop crap, I started to think about this camping essay I want to write. Crap. I really should write this down, I thought after coming up with a few good phrases. Otherwise I'll never remember it in the morning. So, I reach over and open the drawer to my bedside table, haul out a journal, turn it to the last page so I'm for sure not writing on top of anything else, scrabble around on the bottom of the drawer for a pen and then finally, blindly write a

few phrases on the page--just enough to spark my memory in the morning.

In the morning, Shanna comes in and wakes me up and I groggily stumble out of bed to make her some breakfast (she was starving, of course) and get me some cappuccino. It wasn't until later when I was making the bed that I remembered writing stuff down the night before. But when I looked at the page, it was completely blank. The pen didn't work. Thankfully, by holding it up to the light, I could see the indentations from the pen on the page. I've seen this thing on CSI--just kidding--but really, I did rub a pencil lightly over the page and I could read everything I'd written. Most of it was crap too, but hey, I did get one good analogy out of it--and what more can you expect for the middle of the night?

Today I put two more pens on my bedside table. I even checked to make sure they work. Who knows when the next great idea/image/word will strike?

Submerging

Today's Mood: Contented (Forget-me-not blue) Today's Music: Maroon 5- Songs about Jane. Today's Writing: just getting started--chapter 7. Today's Quote:

"Sitting alone in a room and concentrating hard and wisely and well on your book is fragile. .... Writing demands a very precise state of mind, and it's not easy to get into (the daily habit is the only thing that makes writing a little bit easier)." - Heather Sellers in Chapter after Chapter

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I'm back from camping, sitting in front of my computer trying to get back into IFFY. The camping was relaxing--a little rain and definitely not beach weather, but still, we hiked and fished and enjoyed great food around the campfire. The problem is, I got out of the writing water. And unfortunately, once I'm out, it's harder to get back in. So, how do I not only get back into the pool, but also fully submerge myself so the writing comes from the deep part of my mind?

I know different writers write differently, but I find it much easier to stay at least partly in the water--keep the story brewing in my mind, and deliberately think about it several times a day. That way when I do have time to write, it's much easier to go under.

But now I've been out of the water for four days. I did try to draw another picture of Jane, but then the kids started fighting over the colored pencils and my oldest had a fit about her picture not being 'good enough'. She wanted me to draw her picture for her--which I pointed out would make it my picture and not hers. That was a minor point in her mind. In the end, we quit drawing and went hiking instead.

So I desperately need to get back in. I put on Songs about Jane. I touch my big toe in by putting words down on this blog. But I think I just have to dive in--otherwise it'll take all day and by then my kids will be coming home.

Okay, so here I go. And for future reference, how do YOU get back into writing?

Glen Lake

Today's Mood: Excited. Today's Music: Tori Amos--Beekeeper. Today's Writing: just getting started. The possibilities are unlimited! Today's Quote:

I heard words are a lot like fish ... they mostly bite better in the morning! -on the Glen Lake conference schedule

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No one is awake in my cottage. The slopes on the other side of Glen Lake--which I can see out through the sliding doors--are a misty blue, rising out of the silver water. Anything seems possible. Words really do rise like fish, nibbling at the surface of my mind. I see someone out in front of cottage seven, sipping coffee and writing. Yes, catching words on paper.

Yesterday I arrived all sticky and stressed after a week of hot weather and household chaos. The only words that were close to mind were heated, angry, bitter. I set up my writing stuff and didn't even want to face those words. So I went for a swim. Out in the lake I could feel the water washing away home, healing the bruises, easing my soul. The words weren't there yet, but I could start to feel them swimming somewhere deep inside.

Later, down by the campfire, we watched the thin slice of cantaloupe moon sink behind alligator hill, like it was being eaten by the night. Venus was shining bright on the horizon and I found my spot here on earth. I found the world I need.

This morning I woke and couldn't go back to sleep. The words are biting.

Eagle Spotting

Today's Mood: Bogged down (with news of the war in Iraq, with tiredness, with doubts about my writing, with my job....) Today's Music: Complete library on shuffle. (I'm hoping something inspires me.) Today's writing: Blog, and journaling chapter four of IFFY (I hand write when I need to get rid of internal editors) Today's Quote:

Searching is half the fun: Life is much more manageable when thought of as a
scavenger hunt as opposed to a surprise party. -Jimmy Buffet

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I saw an eagle flying over Spring Lake yesterday on my way home from work. I had been dealing with the most frustrating part of my job all afternoon, and was driving home getting irritated at every idiot who drove too slow and every asshole who drove too fast. Then I noticed the eagle gliding above, highlighted against a patch of blue sky. The sun was spotlighting the white head and tail, and it was gliding back and forth--most likely hunting. I couldn't help but think how different things must look from that distance. Most of my frustrations could be put into perspective, just a small dot in a much larger picture.

What things help you gain perspective when something in your life or writing isn't working?