"Clear your mind of can't." -Solon
*******
Funny thing how everyone sees things differently. I was all in a stew last night over what to bring to group. I had several chapters and even two poems written, but didn't really want to bring any of them. I settled for bringing the start of chapter 11 in Free Lunch Program. I was hating it as I read it out loud. I don't know if it was the fact that it dealt with some touchy issues, or if it was because it was a revision and I'd gone over it so many times that I was bored with it, but it was difficult to read. There is a lot of internal action (flashback memories) but little physical action. It seemed to drag. I wished I had brought something else.
I sat back with relief, and waited to hear the inevitable: I'm not sure this information is necessary. The flashbacks are confusing. The pace seemed to drag. But a weird thing happened. They liked it. It kept my interest and drew me along. I felt like I understood the character and why she was so devastated by what happened.
I listened, and part of me kept saying they were just being nice. I had to keep reminding myself that we all made a commitment to tell the truth. We are writers; we bring our words expecting to hear the truth about what works, and what doesn't. And we promise to be honest in turn.
So why is it hard for me to believe my group when they tell me it works for them? Undoubtedly there is some deep personality flaw that allows me to believe the negative much faster than the positive. I'll have to work at that.
In the meantime, I feel better about the story. At least it's working for two people!
3 comments:
Sarah;
It's human nature to look for the negative--look how much we enjoy juicy gossip.
I have doubts with every piece I write. Are the verbs active enough? Do my words paint the pictures I want or conbey my thoughts and feelings? Is it too long or too short? Will anyone read it yet alone like it?
When I wrote my column, getting a letter from someone I'd touched a chord with was great. I don't get that feedback anymore and it's had an affect on my writing.
You're a good and dedicated writer. I struggle with 800 words and you pound out novels. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Sarah,
This is what I think of my poetry: after I write I shove it away, thinking I've lost any hope of writing anything good again. Several weeks later I'll find it and think, "I'll never write anything this good again."
My writing group gives me perspective on what is working and what isn't working. I'm too close to it, and have too much ego involved, to be able to really see it clearly. And, as others have mentioned before, this isn't entirely easy. Like standing by while others critique your child. Well, not that bad, but you get my meaning, don't you? Maybe I should run that by my writing group....
Mike
Sarah:
Yeah! My computer has finally recovered from an acute case of firewall-itis. No more intermittent internet signal!
You're definitely not alone with those feelings. Because my Ann Arbor group is so large, not everyone reads every week. When we ask who has stuff to read, I often find myself spitting out, "maybe" instead of an enthusiastic yes. I feel like whatever I've tapped out in a hurry has no business being presented to the group. Then they surprise me by saying that the stuff actually makes sense! Like you were saying, things get so twisted around in my head that it can feel like I've poured gibberish on paper.
Keep going. There's gold in those chapters...and not just the fool's variety.
Music of the Moment: AFI "Sing the Sorrow"
Word Count: No idea, but increasing :-)
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