Today's Mood: Capable. Today's Music: Random play on music library. Today's Writing: IFFY. Today's Quote:
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. ~Ray Bradbury
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The gremlins have been talking. I'm trying to drown them out using various different methods: chocolate (extra dark--or any really), alcohol (Mike's hard limeade is awesome when it is really cold!), sleep (gotta love those 1000 thread-count sheets!), music (lots of Robert Pollard--always good for upbeat stuff), painting (pictures not walls), and my oh so wonderful writing friends.
The upshot of this intervention is that I was forced to confront my fears, one of them being what if I never get anything published? And after finally facing that fear, I found that it really wouldn't change much of anything in my life. I wouldn't starve since my day job pays enough to buy something beyond Ramen noodles. So why was I getting all stressed and listening to gremlins?
It was time to focus on why I write. Which isn't to get published. It is because writing is something I enjoy--along with chocolate, hard lemonade, good sheets, music, art, and writing friends (and a few other things as well). Funny how easy it is for me to forget why I write. As soon as that deadline draws near and I have to face the possible rejection, the gremlins start talking and I can't remember all the joy and delight (and sweat and tears--but I'm not talking about that right now because I made the heading What I enjoy) of putting words on paper.
I need to write myself a love letter. A letter about how much I love writing. Even if I don't get published ever. But that's gotta be the gremlins talking. Right?
The upshot of this intervention is that I was forced to confront my fears, one of them being what if I never get anything published? And after finally facing that fear, I found that it really wouldn't change much of anything in my life. I wouldn't starve since my day job pays enough to buy something beyond Ramen noodles. So why was I getting all stressed and listening to gremlins?
It was time to focus on why I write. Which isn't to get published. It is because writing is something I enjoy--along with chocolate, hard lemonade, good sheets, music, art, and writing friends (and a few other things as well). Funny how easy it is for me to forget why I write. As soon as that deadline draws near and I have to face the possible rejection, the gremlins start talking and I can't remember all the joy and delight (and sweat and tears--but I'm not talking about that right now because I made the heading What I enjoy) of putting words on paper.
I need to write myself a love letter. A letter about how much I love writing. Even if I don't get published ever. But that's gotta be the gremlins talking. Right?
3 comments:
Way to go, Sarah. Any time we win over fear, we win really big!! The "love letter" is a great idea. Maybe I'll try that too.
It's easy to forget why we write. I find that my worst writing is something I'm writing just to have something to submit for publication. I think some of my best is letters writen to my mom and dad, indivually, for Father's and Mother's Day.
Sometimes I can't divorce myself from what I'm writing. Right now, I'm working on a piece about stewardship. I have a deep love and respect for the land and it's hard not to keep my feelings out of my writing. It comes across as preachy or braggish.
We have several white oak trees big enough to harvest for timber. They represent income I could use for wildilfe projects or implents like seeders or brush hogs. On the other hand, I get so much enjoyment walking among them and being dwarfed by their size that the thought of cutting them fills me with remorse. There's something intrinsic in trees, especially trees over 100 years old. Once they're gone, they won't be replaced in my or my kids' lifetime. Kind of awe inspiring in a way. The storms, weather, and perhaps long-ago fires they've survived, gives them almost a cathederal presence. I like "playing God" with the less desirable trees that need to be culled; the deformed, injured, and weak. Let's hope "we" never adopt the same attitude with people.
You will see your dream come true. You have the right attitude, the spunk to keeep trying, and most of all, you're a very good writer. Relax and enjoy the ride; it may seem slow, but you will get there.
Thanks Larry. And btw, all your writing about nature that I have read has NEVER come across as preachy or braggish. Just a deep and abiding love for nature.
We have to cut down a large white oak in our yard. It is mostly dead, only one branch showing any signs of life. I wonder if the bad infestation of gypsy moths several years in a row killed it. Sad to see it go. It had the best burnt sienna colored leaves in the fall--a real orange-brown. Lovely.
Sorry about your tree. We have lots of oaks and are treated to a kaleidescope of reddish-browns, sepia, and some leaves tinged in maroon. They stay on all winter. Most of our house colors are based on oaks or cedars.
Beech is another that holds its leaves all winter and gets some very nice colors. Maples may take the spotlight, but like some rock stars, they burn out early. The oaks and beech, while not as spectacular, are in it for the long haul.
Thanks for the compliment.
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