Which brings us back to perhaps the two most BASIC PRINCIPLES OF WRITING:
1. Execution Is Everything.
If you can figure out how to do anything well, you can do anything.
2. Never Say Never.
If you can figure out how to do anything well, you can do anything.
-Editorial Anonymous
*******
How much does that first sentence matter? It should capture the reader's attention, pull him/her in and make him/her want to read more, and set the tone/mood of the story. No small feat. In fact, it's putting me in a funk. I have started BD fifty different ways, and I can't say that any of them start with "a sentence you remember forever." But then again, I can't say I remember any first sentences other than "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times." And "In the beginning..." So hey, maybe as long as I get a STRONG first sentence, I can quit worry about the best ever category.
Obviously in the rough draft stage all I need is a sentence that pulls me in, but it's different when revising. Now I have to try to think like a reader. Of course, every reader is different which is why some people in my small group like one thing and others liked something different. My head is starting to spin and I haven't even had a drink! Yet. I bet I might like my writing better if I did drink.
How much do you think the first sentence matters? Do you have any favorite first sentences?
Obviously in the rough draft stage all I need is a sentence that pulls me in, but it's different when revising. Now I have to try to think like a reader. Of course, every reader is different which is why some people in my small group like one thing and others liked something different. My head is starting to spin and I haven't even had a drink! Yet. I bet I might like my writing better if I did drink.
How much do you think the first sentence matters? Do you have any favorite first sentences?
11 comments:
The first sentence is very important; it has to move the reader to the second. I'm not sure I agree it needs to set the tone, mood, etc. If it just piques the readers interest, that's enough--at least for me as a reader and maybe as a writer.
A newspaper writer's opening line in describing a prairie fire that killed all the kids in a school read; "A generation died here today." Kind of says it all and makes us want to read the account. In "The Road to Tinkhamtowwn" Ford's opening line "It was a long way but he knew where he was going...." makes you want to keep reading.
You are not alone in stuggling with that opening sentence. I go through the same thing in every piece I write. Don't know if I ever really get it right or as good as I'd like.
Those are great opening lines! Here's what I have (at the moment):I’m only half way through reading the first paragraph of my philosophy homework when the dragon explodes into my room.
It has action, but I'm not sure if it sets up the story right. Hopefully it will make readers want to keep reading.
Sarah;
Explodes gives me a picture of dragon parts all over the room. It's just such a powerful word and used often; the pheasant exploded from cover, the fish exploded through the surface, etc. I hope I'm not being too critical--I'm certainly no expert on word choices. Is there a better word to use here? Just my opinion, which is worth exactly what you pay for it.
Quail eat all kinds of seeds, including "stick-tights," those triangular-shaped seeds that stick to clothes. Often seen as a nuisance, I'm toying with an opening line to make finding them a reason for jubilation. Finding the silver lining in the cloud so to speak. The purpose of my opening line is to grab the editor's attention, to keep him or her reading. I struggle with titles just as much as the first line.
Good point about the word "explodes." I'll play with some other words.
Are you writing about quail or stick-tights? And was that the opening sentence you were thinking about using? If quail eat the stick tights--that definitely makes quail a source of jubilation!
How about "erupts"?
Sarah;
I have never read any of your "Black Dragon." Could you send me a paragraph or two (e-mail I mean) or post it here? It might give us a sense of what you're looking for.
"If quail eat the stick tights--that definitely makes quail a source of jubilation!"
That's a double jubilation! The quail eat stick-tights, thus removing them so I don't get them plastered to my shirts and pants...and by eating the seeds they get fat and juicy. Unfortunately, I just get fat. It's been a long time since I've been "juiced."
Still working on line #1.
Hey guys.
Sorry I've been out of the loop for a while. I guess you could say I've been a lurker and not a poster. Some drama (unfortunately real and not what I've created) has been distracting me.
So first lines, huh? I'll have to agree that when I read your "first line so far," I did see dragon bits instead of the dragon. But I like the idea of going from something mundane and routine (homework) to something extraordinary in one sentence.
I've always thought the first part of my novel hadn't been written yet. Until someone in the novel group told me she thought I had a pretty good opening. It's actually a bit of dialogue between Meg and her sister. Not where I thought I was going to begin, but she may be right.
And stick tights. I've never heard that phrase before. I'm not much of a nature girl, but I do love hearing the little gems of knowledge I get from you.
Good luck to both of you!
Word Count: Not gonna post it. It's embarrassing. I've been working and re-working the same section. It's critical that I get it right before I can go on with the rest of it.
Music: AFI "December Underground"
I did just buy an album by Keane on the suggestion of a guy at the record store. He said if I liked Coldplay, I'd like them. I'll let you know.
Hey Robyn, good to hear from you. Hope the drama is settling down--or at least nothing too life-altering.
And yeah, I have re-worked (more than once) the exploding part. This is what I currently have:
The dragon swoops down with lightening speed and absolute silence. One moment I’m sitting on my bedroom floor reading my philosophy homework, and the next I’m gasping and choking on the blast of sulfur and decay. The fiery breath burns my lungs, making my eyes water and my nose run. Crouching over me, the beast looks ike some monstrous black panther ready to pounce on helpless prey.
But I’m not helpless. Not this time.
I'm not saying this is the final version, but so far I like it well enough to go on.
Ooo, I like it. Very visual and visceral (oops, unintentional alliteration). I like that we get such a clear image of the dragon immediately. It makes him seem real immediately.
Yeah, the drama is settling...for now. The most frustrating part is that I really can't do too much about it. Guess I should throw myself into my writing then, right? :-)
Talk to you soon.
Listening to: Thousand Food Crutch "The Art of Breaking"
Hi Sarah,
Great question. I didn't see dragon parts. But I see the point.
Hope you're okay, Robyn.
Great first lines:
"Call me Ishmael."
"In the beginning was the word."
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
"Life is difficult."
I like using the dragon in the first line. After all, the dragon is in the title. Let me free associate:
"I was 16 when I started fighting dragons."
"I smelled the dragon before I saw her."
Okay - enough from me....
"I was 16 when I started fighting dragons."
I like this line. Right away we know a lot about the main character. Or maybe "I just turned 16 ...."
It would lend itself to a flashback beginning, but would dictate the story be written in first person. Don't know if that works for you Sarah. I don't know where the story goes. I think I'd play with it.
With the quotes you supplied via email, I thought this might be an inner mental conflict, like someone on the edge of insanity. Mike's first line eliminates any thought along that line.
I loved the line, "I'm drained, like an orange on a juicer, even the pulp is gone."
I like the line "I was 16 when I started fighting dragons." The problem I have with it is the tense. Black Dragon is written in 1st person, present tense. I could change it to past, but then the reader knows for a fact that the narrator has survived. I would like to leave that in question. And in actuality, the main character was fighting dragons long before the fight turned physical. That is just when she realized that she might not survive--and that's when she started thinking she was crazy.
It is very interesting to get your thoughts on first sentences--and everyone has different opinions on what the "best" first sentence would be. So in the end, I listen, but learn that I have to go with what feels right for my narrator. Where would she start the story?
I'll try to get another post up tomorrow. Thanks for all the input!
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