Yesterday was my husband's birthday, as well as the second Monday of the month--which is when my writing group meets. I attended the meeting. Now, before you all think I'm a horribly callous wife, let it be known that my husband didn't mind since he prefers not to make a big deal of getting another year older. (I keep reminding him that the alternative is grim.) I bring this up simply to illustrate the fact that I believe writing groups are a commitment.Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still. Robert Sternberg
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It was an interesting meeting. All of us showed up, and we even had a new (prospective) member at the meeting. She wanted to get a feel for us, and we wanted to do likewise. She seemed to fit in right away with her fun sense of humor, and good listening and conversation skills. She expressed the desire to make writing more a part of her life than it has been so far. Then one of the other members talked about how she hasn't written much lately and how she hoped to come away from group inspired. All good. To me, writing groups should meet both of those needs--helping me to focus on my writing, and inspiring me with good writing and good feedback.
Therefore it was interesting to me that neither of those women wanted to read the piece they had brought to share. "This is just something old. It's really too personal," the one explained. "The piece I brought was written to read aloud to a large group. It doesn't work well as a written piece," said the other.
Now, I have to admit that I am not the most tactful person in the world (shock!). So in my usual style I challenged them. "Come on! You just told us you wanted to make writing a focus in your life, and you wanted to be inspired, and now I hear slackers and whiners." Okay yeah, not tactful in the slightest. Hopefully I didn't scare this wonderful new woman away from the group.
The good news is that I bullied them into reading their writing. Well, it was good for me. It was inspiring for me. Whether it was good for them--I'm not sure, and I'm sorry that I was so harsh. But the writing shared was well-written, luminous, full of images and language and ideas that made me think.
And the evening has stayed with me. On the way home last night, during the night, on the drive to work this morning. Was I right to call them out? If you are a part of a writing group, do you owe that group something? What? If you are new, and checking out a group, do you owe them the chance to hear your writing as well as the chance to check out theirs? What are you committing to when you join a group? Just showing up? Showing up with something to share?
Life happens. I know that. There are times when it is impossible to come--illness, family, deadlines, work. I have missed a few times due to kids conferences, concerts, illnesses. Once in a while it might be impossible to bring a piece of writing. ... Okay, so I can't think of examples for this one, but I'm sure there are some. The point is, stuff happens. (and lots of times that stuff is shit--but that's another post) But if you have showed up, and even brought something you must have at least considered sharing, then isn't it just your gremlins causing you to not share? Your fear that it won't be "good" enough?
Maybe the answers to my questions depend on what type of writer you are: recreational, professional, obsessive, or maybe even just grimly determined like me. Do you belong to a writing group? If so, what part does it play in your life? Are there any expectations within your group? Or is all this just me being obsessive?
9 comments:
Sarah;
Currently, I don't belong to a group. Maybe I should, I could use some inspiration.
Yes, if you are part of a group, you have an obligation to support the group. Others are counting on us to provide feedback, suggestions, etc. Who knows what images, word phrases, etc. will inspire our own writing.
Sometimes people are shy or less than confident about exposing their soul. You helped them over the hurdle. You did good.
Larry,
I've missed you. What have you been up to? How's the writing going?
Sarah;
Well lately I've been doing a lot of pre-writing aka procrastinating. I just started a piece on beagle trials, a competitive rabbit-chasing event, and am planning a piece on succession, where the land/vegetation changes over time. I found an old photo from about 20 years ago where the knoll our house is built on is clearly visible from the road. Now you can't even see our house, even in winter with no leaves. The field has grown up so much.
I've discovered at least 8 bittersweet vines growing along the woods edge. It is so cool! I've been doing habitat projects like cutting trees and discing for next year's food plots.
It's nice to be missed.
Larry, the two pieces of writing sound interesting. Do they do the beagle trials around GR?
And remind me, is bittersweet the vine with bright orange berries?
Sarah;
Yes, they do run trials around the area. There are several beagle clubs that host trials. They can be quite a cacaphonous event with five dogs all giving voice at the same time. Beagle music.
And yes, bittersweet is the vine with orange berries. I love finding it in the winter. Eventually, it can kill a tree by wrapping too tightly around the trunk. But it's an woodland edge species so most of the support trees are more of a scrubby species. I picked up a cool book about edge species and thickets. Lots of info on lore, the plants, etc.
Sarah,
What a great reminder that -I- am needed at my writer's group. The "Sunday Group" I'm in meets this Sunday, and we're so spread out geographically that it usually costs a bunch of gas to be present, and the time committment to make the drive. Sometimes that's a deterrent for me, especially when Tom and I work so many hours and Sunday time together becomes precious. but I'm going this Sunday, and looking forward to preparing something to share.
I've also joined a small group in
GR. I've been once and am not sure it's a fit for me--or rather, I'm not sure I'm a fit for them. They've been meeting for quite a while have a comfort level established. But the writing is definitely inspiring.
As for "outing" someone who's shy to share their writing, my guess is that it's OK to say what you said (and I'm sure you said it very cutely with a smile). But if they insist on not reading, then I think the group needs to accept that.
I know that sometimes I've brought things to groups (non-PW) with the intent to read, and after I got there, there was NO WAY I was going to read because I didn't trust someone in the group not to rip me a new one. It was just a feeling, and maybe I was wrong, but I didn't read.
I think it's so cool that you were so energized by the group. THAT is an inspiration to me to go to my groups and BE there.
Larry, congrats on finding the bittersweet. I love that stuff. For years, right about this time of year I'd take my son to the woods with me and we'd gather boughs and dried up weeds and sumac heads. Then I'd go home and make dozens of wreaths for friends and family. I remember one year, my dad delivered an entire pickup load of grapevines to me for that purpose. I think I made 35 wreaths that year. What fun!
Oh, and dreemryter is my code name. I didn't know the blog was going to use that moniker.
It's really me, Deborah.
Deborah,
Great to hear from you! And I appreciated your insight as to why someone might not share--even after bringing something with them. I have been shy to share my stuff. (I suppose if truth be told I still sweat like crazy every time I do. I've learned to put on extra deodorant before I go to meetings--and I oft come home with a headache. Writing groups are intense for me.)But I so desperately need help to get better that I force myself to share, to put it out there and wait humbly for any crumbs of advice, direction, or insight that might come my way.
I am so eager for a full day of writing that I can just about taste it!
Speaking of tasting, I've been viewing videos of Latte Art on YouTube, and now I'm "tasting" a good latte--even though I'm nowhere near a coffee shop!
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