"go! little novelist, go!" -Justine Larbalestier
*******
I love my job as a Librarian (Library Media Specialist for those of you who are in the current re-name old jobs to make them sound more techie phase), I mean, what could be better than telling kids about absolutely great YA books? And I need my job too--pays for the dentist (who's going to pull two of my daugther's teeth later today), puts food on the table (pretty much just turkey and ham lately. The turkey was frozen Thanksgiving morning, so we ran to the store and bought a ham. Now we have both.), and pays for my book habit (although, it still doesn't quite cover a bigger house which is rapidly becoming necessary given all the books I buy). But occassionally the dream of being able to write all day creeps into even my waking thoughts. Getting up in the morning, fetching a hot cup of cappucino and then booting up my trusty Mac and start writing (or rewriting as the case may be) Maybe napping or taking a shower when I get stuck, but being able to go back to it and finish my thought, finish the chapter.
Unfortunantly, I'm not willing to give anything up--job, family, reading time--so this is just a pointless rant. But there you go.
It hasn't helped that I've been reading Justine Larbalestier's blog (and her husband Scott Westerfeld's blog as well). They are so...in the know. In the writer's life. I'm sure they go to the grocery store and bathroom and all that mundane stuff just like the rest of us. But it's their JOB to write, not something they sneak away to do when everyone is sleeping or when they are really supposed to be helping some student look up B.F. Skinner in the biographical encyclopedia. (Oh, I didn't know I was supposed to look under the last name!)
Part of the problem is I'm in a slumpy mood about my writing. Depressed and sure that it's all crap and I should start over but even if I do it will never be quite as good as [insert famous author's name here]--which means writing will never be my JOB, just something that "mom" or "my wife" does for the fun of it. (yeah, kind of like people go through childbirth for the fun of it.)
This is the point where--if he were here--my husband would tell me I need some sleep. And he'd be right. But instead I'd better get out there and help those seventh graders figure out where to find information (in actual books and not JUST on the internet) about their scientists.
Day job, can't pay the bills without it. Writing, can't live without it.
2 comments:
Well your writing is NOT crap, but I can relate to the slumpy mood (although I've never heard of a slumpy mood before, but, somehow I know what it is).
Yeah, slumpy. Like a 20 pound sack of potatoes that you try to make stand up and it just keeps slumping down. Of course, today I've got a snow day--yeah to the goddess of snow! TIme to write.
Post a Comment