OK.
Yesterday I fulfilled my promise and I actually got about half of one of my articles written. The other half, and another whole article, are due soon and I need to wrestle them to the mat (I've recently realized my conversational speech is cliche-riddled).
Part of the problem is that these are two of the most difficult articles I have yet to write. The subject is community, and the good things that are happening in it. The problem is, the community I'm writing about covers a huge geographic area in south GR, and within that area are many different social factions (race, economy, poverty) that don't come together easily. I'm supposed to report on the renewal happening in the southeast neighborhoods, and, while not ignoring the "downers," not making an issue of them, either.
The problem, as I have discovered too late, is that the geographic region is simply too large. We should have made it smaller (which my editor DID do after a conversation about my concerns, but it should have been shaved even more). As I said, too late.
So. Because the task is hard, because putting the pieces together is brain-challenging and time-consuming, because I'm afraid of being a failure at it (which, intellectually, I KNOW I won't be), and because I often set myself up to be a victim (Oh, gee, I tried to write it, but it was just too overwhelming, blah blah blah), the articles are still hanging over my head, and I'm stressed and unhappy.
And yet.
I have control over it, and could have dispensed with the writing a week ago and it would now be behind me and I could look forward to a long holiday weekend with family. But no. That's not how I operate.
Well, the jig is up. Tonight I finish article one, even though I'm only just getting ready to start on it and it's 10:15 PM. And before the day is done tomorrow, article two will be, too. (Thank goodness, our Turkey day was last Sunday). That means, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I will be free to be with family. That's my promise to myself. No more setting me up. No more setting the work down.
Life's too short, and I'm in it for the long haul.
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2 comments:
You go girl! And as I sit here, big dinner mostly digested, headache just about gone, kids finally in bed, I wonder if you made your goal. Is that second article written? Are you able to relax and enjoy what is left of the weekend? I hope so.
You inspire me, and I resolve to revise another chapter tomorrow in between doctors and hospitals and bickering children. Pen to paper. You can do it. I can do it.
Nope. The goal still looms large. But I got a lot done, and worked on it more yesterday. Pecking away at it.
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