Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Writing? What's writing?

Posted by Deborah

Well, it's more than a week after the GL summer conference and I'm sitting on my son's screen porch in Winston Salem, NC, enjoying the perfect summer day and reading the PW blog, occasionally looking up at the sun shining off a hugo-gigantic magnolia whose blooms are ready to pop open. What a great way to spend a summer vacation! And while the week between the conference and now has been crazy, my mind keeps going over the memories, the conversations, the stories from Read Around and the small groups I was in. What blessings to have these thoughts running as an undercurrent to all I do.

I returned to what Chris H calls "writing for food" to find that my editor--the only editor I've ever had and a person who has care-fully nurtured my journalism, my interview ideas, my vision for the reporting I do--is leaving for another job (a fab opp for him and that makes me happy). But, selfishly, my first thought was "Oh my gosh! He's leaving me!," the second was about his happiness and wonderful future, and the third was "Oh my gosh! He's leaving me!" Talk about transitions, Sarah!

I've been through job losses, boss losses, reorgs, corporate changes in vision, and such before, and it's always turned out fine, sometimes it's even an improvement in my life, but that unknown (Who's going to be my boss now? What will he/she expect of me? Will I be able to perform? Will I keep my job?) can paralyze my writing. I can spend so much time trying to live up to what I think they think they expect of me that my brain just keeps looping over the same sentence/phrase/opening line and I spend hours on an article that should have taken 30 minutes to write, and then I'm pushing a very heavy deadline in front of me. Stress!

So, at the end of this month the new editor, as yet not hired, will probably be on board and I'll be transitioning to new ways of working. And while I know the solution is simple--just tell the story of the person I interviewed--it will, at least some days, be hard to remember that.

It's comforting to have the PW stories as undercurrent. But most of all, it gives me some peace knowing that all of you, the writers who can relate to this work, are rooting for me.

AND...how's this for a transition?...here's a sight Tom and I saw on the trip down here, just outside Nelsonville, OH.

4 comments:

outdoorwriter said...

Deb;

Good luck with your new editor. I've been there and in my case it did not turn out well, the typical young versus old conflict. Last week he wrote in his editorial that he almost threw a temper tantrum because they spooked the turkey that had been answering his call all morning. I've been kicking around outside for over 50 years and I don't ever remember feeling that upset over a lost fish or missed shot or even a broken rod. But then killing something isn't why I hunt or fish.

smcelrath said...

Deborah,

The unknown is a scary thing--and somehow it is always easier to imagine it turning out worse rather than better, even when it runs the same potential for either.

What I do know is that you are a good writer. And you will write, because that is what you do. And you will do it well, because that is what you do.

I loved being your cottage mate, and hope the transition goes as smoothly as possible.

Mike said...

The unknown can be scary, but I try to keep in mind that nearly all anxiety is actually future tense. Think about it - we're not nervous over what has happened, we're scared about what might happen. And our brains get our bodies keyed up to react like it is already happening. So - bliss out, be in the moment. Enjoy the rainbow and the happy memories.

No, I'm not smoking anything.

dreemryter said...

Hey All,

Thanks for your awesome replies and your encouragment. Each of you have gems of wisdom in your comments and I appreciate them all.

Mike, what you said resonates with me -- I've survived a lot in my life and I'm not going to waste energy being worried about his transition. It'll work out no matter what way it goes.

D