Partially Addicted

Today's Mood: Relaxed (as much as I can be with a head cold) Today's Music: Marisa is singing upstairs, but that's it. Today's Writing: this and emails (although I did stay up writing til midnight last night) Today's Quote:

In Steven King's book "On Writing" (one of the selections of the shortlived YesAnd book club of years back), he says you should never use an adverb. If you stumble across one, rewrite the sentence. -Greg Wymer

*******

What is your opinion of adverbs? A necessary evil? Descriptive writing? Death to all ly words? As you may--or may not--know, I've been deep in revision of Black Dragon. Working one on one with another writer has been very educational. I slave over a section until I can't tighten it any more, and then I get it back from my wonderful writing mentor and--lo and behold!--her comments make it sooooo much tighter and better. The last section she gave back with the words, "This section was tight." I looked it over the next morning and found that she lied. It had blue ink all over it, and, as usual, her suggestions made it much better.

Since the first step to conquering an addiction is admitting that one has a problem, I'm here to tell you, I have a problem. I am addicted to ly words. My characters smile slightly, shrug half-heartedly, and wish desperately. Sometime I just can't figure out how to say the same thing without using an adverb. I mean, sometimes I can change the verb and have it mean the same thing--but not always. There are times where I just can't find a verb that means quite the same thing.

However, I've been going through the three step revision program, and now I'm proud to say it's been three days since I've used an ly modifier. My characters give lopsided smiles, shrug one-shoulder, and pray.

Hopefully I don't fall off the band-wagon. : )

One way or another

Today's Mood: Scattered. Today's Music: Matchbox 20--Mad Season. Today's Writing: Revising chapter 50, 51 of BD. Today's Quote:

*******

I blame it on the snow. Here I am, hoping for a snow day, and what do I get? Extra early writing time! We lost power last night, but no problem, my travel alarm clock was right in the bedside drawer. I set the alarm and went back to sleep. Until my daughter called for me. The house was too quiet. Not much I could do about that--other than sing. She decided quiet was preferable. My alarm rang at 5:40 and five minutes later, the power came back on. Later, I was mixing up my cappuccino while I waited for my car to de-ice itself. I happened to glance at the battery-operated clock in the kitchen. 5:30. Hmm. That wasn't right. I went and checked my cell phone. 5:30 a.m. Holy cows! I got up at 4:45! Well, that's one way to get some extra writing time.

It was good. Really good. I had the extra time needed to dig in and get some good writing done. But there is no way in hell I'm getting up that early tomorrow! In fact, I'm hoping for a snow day.

Commitment

Today's Mood: Relaxed- Well, as much as I ever am. Today's Music: Love is Blindness by U2 (at the moment) Today's Writing: Revising Chapter 44 of BD. Today's Quote:

Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still. Robert Sternberg
*******

Yesterday was my husband's birthday, as well as the second Monday of the month--which is when my writing group meets. I attended the meeting. Now, before you all think I'm a horribly callous wife, let it be known that my husband didn't mind since he prefers not to make a big deal of getting another year older. (I keep reminding him that the alternative is grim.) I bring this up simply to illustrate the fact that I believe writing groups are a commitment.

It was an interesting meeting. All of us showed up, and we even had a new (prospective) member at the meeting. She wanted to get a feel for us, and we wanted to do likewise. She seemed to fit in right away with her fun sense of humor, and good listening and conversation skills. She expressed the desire to make writing more a part of her life than it has been so far. Then one of the other members talked about how she hasn't written much lately and how she hoped to come away from group inspired. All good. To me, writing groups should meet both of those needs--helping me to focus on my writing, and inspiring me with good writing and good feedback.

Therefore it was interesting to me that neither of those women wanted to read the piece they had brought to share. "This is just something old. It's really too personal," the one explained. "The piece I brought was written to read aloud to a large group. It doesn't work well as a written piece," said the other.

Now, I have to admit that I am not the most tactful person in the world (shock!). So in my usual style I challenged them. "Come on! You just told us you wanted to make writing a focus in your life, and you wanted to be inspired, and now I hear slackers and whiners." Okay yeah, not tactful in the slightest. Hopefully I didn't scare this wonderful new woman away from the group.

The good news is that I bullied them into reading their writing. Well, it was good for me. It was inspiring for me. Whether it was good for them--I'm not sure, and I'm sorry that I was so harsh. But the writing shared was well-written, luminous, full of images and language and ideas that made me think.

And the evening has stayed with me. On the way home last night, during the night, on the drive to work this morning. Was I right to call them out? If you are a part of a writing group, do you owe that group something? What? If you are new, and checking out a group, do you owe them the chance to hear your writing as well as the chance to check out theirs? What are you committing to when you join a group? Just showing up? Showing up with something to share?

Life happens. I know that. There are times when it is impossible to come--illness, family, deadlines, work. I have missed a few times due to kids conferences, concerts, illnesses. Once in a while it might be impossible to bring a piece of writing. ... Okay, so I can't think of examples for this one, but I'm sure there are some. The point is, stuff happens. (and lots of times that stuff is shit--but that's another post) But if you have showed up, and even brought something you must have at least considered sharing, then isn't it just your gremlins causing you to not share? Your fear that it won't be "good" enough?

Maybe the answers to my questions depend on what type of writer you are: recreational, professional, obsessive, or maybe even just grimly determined like me. Do you belong to a writing group? If so, what part does it play in your life? Are there any expectations within your group? Or is all this just me being obsessive?

Breaking Points

Today's Mood: Industrious. Today's Music: U2--Zoo Station at the moment. Today's Writing: Finished up rewrite of Part I Black Dragon. Today's Quote:

"So many of us use writing as a way to keep ourselves down, limited, stuck."
-Heather Sellers in Page after Page.

*******

Breaking points could refer to many things when it comes to writing, but I'm struggling with how to divide my writing into chapters. Poets must deal with the same issue except on the micro-scale of line breaks. So how does a writer decide on the organization of a piece? Are structure and organization the same thing?

I know that I want Black Dragon to be a novel--although I have tossed around the idea of a graphic novel which would entail different organization of the material. So maybe that answers my question. Maybe structure and organization are linked, but not synonymous.

Black Dragon divides the content into chapters based on scenes. Each new scene is a new chapter. The chapters, however, are arranged/titled according to date. I suppose it is diary-like in a way. Some days have so many different scenes that it takes a number of chapters to cover that day. This could be confusing to a read. But if I lump all the events under one chapter (ie. Chapter Twelve--January 26--Friday), then it is an 18 page chapter, whereas some other chapters are only 3 pages. Does this matter?

If the organization of the material is all about clarity, then I should stick with one chapter per day, even if it makes the chapters uneven in length. However, as a librarian/teacher, I realise that chapter length is important to readability as well. Kids tend to like shorter chapters because they seem to be easier to read.

Of course, at some point it might not even be worth me worrying about this issue. Maybe an editor makes that decision and the author has nothing to do with it. It's not like poetry where the line break can change the meaning. The story remains the same--it is the impact that changes. Which is still a big deal, but shouldn't be a deal breaker.

Anyway, that's what I'm stressing over at the moment--well, along with a myriad of other things. One of those being the teachers memoir workshop tomorrow. I'm to talk about the importance of mentor texts. I've had fun looking through various writing books--especially Page after Page and Chapter after Chapter by Heather Sellers. Good stuff.

Attack of the gremlins

Today's Mood: Frustrated. Today's Music: Lucia Micarelli--Music from a Farther Room. Today's Writing: Revising the revision of Black Dragon Part I. Today's Quote:

Don't give up. Never give up. -don't know if anyone else said it, but I'm saying it now.

*******

I was in a funk over the weekend--you know, the usual, I suck at everything kind of mental punk that hangs like dank, dark smoke around my spirit. Why was I in a such a state? Who knows. Maybe the weather. Maybe the MEAP testing. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep. Maybe it's George W. Bush's fault. Or maybe, just maybe, it has to do with my art not being picked at the show, and my copy of Black Dragon coming back with lots of ink on it.

Don't get me wrong, the ink was dead on, made the story clearer, more succinct. In fact, I look at what my lovely writing mentor did with it, and I think, why didn't I see that? Who am I kidding, thinking I'm a good writer? These people are my friends, none of them would tell me that I'm just not good enough to be published. But I'm not. Look, she should be writing this. I should just tell her my idea and have her write it--it would be better than I could ever write it.

And so it goes, on and on with the whining, the self-doubt, the gray punk that bogs me down, giving me a headache, making me tired, and causing me to be crabby with the kids. My husband tried--he assured me I had talent, he listened, he even scolded me for over-reacting, but it didn't help. I went to bed.

The next day it occurred to me that there is NO WAY this wonderful, busy woman would spend so much time, painstakingly reading my manuscript (yet again) if she didn't believe it had some worth. After all, I wasn't even paying her! And hey, look at how much I was learning! Maybe I'd avoid some of those pitfalls (starting too many sentences with the word "but." I really like but(t)s!), and the last section would be better.

In the meantime, I'll get back to work on the first section, making those changes, making the story clearer, better, truer.

What do you do when you get in a funk? Or how do you keep the gremlins away from you? What's the worst attack of the "I'm no good at this" that you've ever had? Or are you like, not human, and have no idea what I'm talking about?

Plugging Away

Today's Mood: Tired. Today's Music: Sarah McLachlan at the moment. Today's Writing: revising Black Dragon. Today's Quote:

"I always write a good first line, but I have trouble in writing the others."
-Moliere, in Les Precieuses Ridicules

*******

Plugging away, every day getting closer to the end. Some days I can almost taste it, and it drives me to get up, reject hitting the snooze, resist the pull of sleep, all to got sit in front of a monitor and rearrange words, add, delete words. Other days, like today when I'm tired, I have to drag myself out of bed. And yet, when I sit in front of my laptop, a certain kind of magic happens, and the story takes over, the words are there to be tinkered with, crafted, chiseled away, sculpted, woven together to create a web, a yarn, a magic of their own. And on it goes, day after day.

I counted up, only six more days until I finished Part II. Then it is on to Part III. I am growing confident of meeting my self-imposed goal of sending the book out again during Christmas break. I think I'll research agents this time.

How's everyone else doing? Weaving words into stunning yarns the excite, entertain, educate, and provide a depth and richness to life? Or at least chiseling out a few words that might someday be sculpted into a masterpiece?

Hope to see you Friday at the art show. Or hear from you here on the blog. Writing is a lonely affair, despite all the people involved.

Sponging

Today's Mood: Content. Today's Music: Robert Pollard Is Off To Business--Boston Spaceships. Today's Writing: Revision, Black Dragon Part II. Today's Quote:

"It's been an adventurous day. The ship floats but it won't float away." -Robert Pollard (I always thought it was "shit" not ship, but when I googled it, lots of people had it as ship. I'll have to look at the liner notes. Gotta say, I like "shit" better!)

*******

This past weekend my husband and I went to Ann Arbor to see the Boston Spaceships perform at the Blind Pig and to attend the Michigan Game. Despite Michigan's poor showing, I had an absolutely wonderful time. And I didn't even feel guilty about not writing for 3 days because I was sponging. Soaking in atmosphere, dialog, character, setting. The concert was great, the band tight and loud. I could not sit (or stand) still, my feet just kept wanting to dance. Of course, I second-handedly smoked at least 50 cigarettes, drank enough hard cider to feel very flushed (although, that's really hard to say since it had to be at least 90 degrees in there as well), and whooped and hollered enough that my husband is sure he can hear me on this YouTube Video from the concert.

Throughout the concert, dinner, walking around town, and at the game, I found myself watching people, observing their faces and gestures, listening to what they were saying and their tone of voice. I felt like I was absorbing it, so that at some later date, who knows when, I'll be able to wring it out on the page, and readers will be able to see, taste, smell, and hear it. From the tangy ginger sauce on the Mongolian Stir Fry, to the acrid stench of the cigarette smoke in my hair.

Then there was the driving around a fairly empty Ann Arbor at 2 a.m., lost, but so wound up from music and the excitement of not having to be a responsible parent, that it didn't matter that we were lost. The color of the city takes on different shades and tones at that time of the morning, the sounds are different, even the smells.

Being a fairly goal-oriented person, I have to remind myself that living is a part of writing as well. Yes, I have to put my butt in the chair and write, but yes, I have to get my butt out of the chair now and then and experience things in order to write with a passion.

Where are some of the best places you have absorbed? This summer I did some major sponging when I went to Michigan Adventure with my kids (always a wide variety of people there, plus going anywhere with my kids is a chance to soak up new experiences).

So.... go sponge. Write, live---live, write. Go. And then come back and tell us about it.